253296175 - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I watch tv and I want to barf! Who looks that good all the time? Who wears full makeup when going to bed like the women in Soap Operas? And could the women Anchorpeople on the Weather Channel please get rid of their 1970's cheerleaders gone Porn hairstyles? Please? And can CNN have any more commercials? WTF> Who wants to diet all the time? Who are all the asshles that are making money off all these commercials telling women how fat they are? So what if someone is fat! Let them be happy! Its better to die with a donut on your lips than be a miserable old coot! And I think I am bootylicious and you should too!!!If you think the Holidays are stupid and your family should be given shock treatment you have come to the right place! About my Blog: it is meant to be humorous, yet Helpful...not preachy or self -Rightous...maybe some links to links are blue, but hell, I am a self imposed sex therapist/thera-puss and its my job in life to make sure you are healthy, wealthy and wise and your Prostate gland doesn't go squirting into the wrong direction (note to self: new Reality show...Prostates gone Wild) well thanks for reading and have a wonderful erection... My favorite songs include: Godsmack "I'm doing the best I can" (F9cking go away) and Fuel by Metallica....I feel like a badass when I listen to the lyrics....I never travel either..why go to a foreign country where the food is bad and the people are rude when I can just go to my relatives house and have the same experience....or I can just watch Samantha Brown on the Travel Channel and save myself a thousand bucks, and not have to sit in a tin, cramped can for 6 hours and have to wait for the Flight attendant with the "talk to the hand attitude" to give me a pillow!New friends add on..if it asks my last name its Housewives...also I like to change my top 10 friends list all the time..so if you are number 2 one day and number 8 the next, do not be offended..I think it only fair that a person gives respect to all their friends/collegues by showing them off to everyone!!Also, I wish I saved all my old Barbie dolls....she was awesome...no pubic hair and her blond hair never showed roots!!!
You Are Cowboy Boots
http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofbootsareyouqui...

You are incredibly down to earth and happy with yourself. You don't pretend to be someone else.
You also tend to be very practical. You don't really have a lot of room for fluff in your life.
You are a very honest and direct person. You will give anyone a straight answer, even if it's a bit uncomfortable.
While you're quite sensible, you always like a little bit of flash in your life. You don't overdo it, but you do like turning heads.

What Kind of Boots Are You?

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

You of course! , Jesus, professional skateboarders, Victoria Beckham, but only because I found out she was bullied in school and now she can tell those mean girls "who ya talkin to now bitch"; condom factory workers, people who make a great cup of coffee, cashiers who accept expired coupons at the grocery store, people who support homeless shelters ,alcoholic women who wear too much Mascara and Anyone not apathetic and Anyone who is Angry all the time! Don't be afraid to state your point, defend your views and sleep late!! Tell the Health clubs to take their free "7 day pass" coupons and trade it in for an iced latte and and OK!! Magazine..its summer folks, live well, be happy and don't fret cause you can't get into your old bathing suit...you can always buy a new one...or just go skinny dipping!!Love you all!!!Jack Nicolson, Best Gone Feral Actor of the World -------------------------------- __________ ________________________________________My wish for you..... That you will be empowered...that you will be strong.. that you will be courageous...that you will be able to look your foes/enemies in the eye and they will know, just by looking at you, that you are a powerful force and not to be messed with..that your good Karma will come to you soon.. that your lovers and your lovers former lovers know how wonderful you are.. and if you look in the mirror and are having a bad day.. know that you are sexy, and beautiful and charming..and anyone who finds their way into your bed, are truly fortunate just for the chance to touch your skin...you are talented, and vivacious, and this planet is a better planet because you are on it...life is not fair, but you have made it a better one, just by being a friend to your friends when they needed one most..maybe it was a silly joke, or a kind word, or a cute comment.. maybe you bought someone a cup of coffee and a donut, when they were down on their luck and needed someone to just acknowledge that life is rough but a little kindness and hope goes a long way..this is not to say that kindness equals weakness. we know it doesn't. but we try our best..our friends love us and those who have been cruel, unkind or rude to us know that they made a mistake..and a big mistake at that!trust your instincts, trust your gut..be the best you can because you are the Best!Love,

My Blog

How old should I be when I have my mid-life crisis?

Should I have invitations made up and throw a party? Should we play music from only dead musicians and bands and say they never got old ( Elvis, Jim Morrison, Janis )should I continue to wear too muc...
Posted by on Fri, 03 Jul 2009 13:21:00 GMT

Sex advice based on a persons sign..

http://www.sex-astrology.com/index.php?page=post&id=80don't know if this will be helpful....you can always give someone a LifeSaver candy, and tell them its something hard for them to suck on....
Posted by on Fri, 12 Jun 2009 12:47:00 GMT

Congrats to Tami Farrell, the new Miss Cali

I am glad they have a new, less controversial, more balanced new Miss California! Carrie P got fired because of breach of contract. Also, Carrie was always blubberring about how she was persecuted a...
Posted by on Fri, 12 Jun 2009 11:19:00 GMT

Info for free donut on June 5

Free doughnuts Friday, June 5 at Dunkin' Donuts, Krispy KremeAaron CroweJun 2nd 2009 at 12:30PMText SizeAAAFiled under: Fantastic FreebiesDunkin' Donuts is celebrating National Donut Day on Friday, Ju...
Posted by on Fri, 05 Jun 2009 13:21:00 GMT

If I ruled the world....

all cashiers would take expried coupons...mental illness would be referred to MIll....(mill)Cars would be f*cking awesome looking..Fox News would stop making assumptions that all Muslims are terrorist...
Posted by on Fri, 05 Jun 2009 12:36:00 GMT

Are you bitter or horny?

It seems that people's moods stem from 2 basic emotions...bitter or horny.For example, a broken heart is when you can't have the person you want. You miss the smell and taste of their skin, and the w...
Posted by on Fri, 05 Jun 2009 11:55:00 GMT

Nobody likes to get their feelings hurt....

Well, a new life lesson I have learned in the last few weeks is be careful of who you ask advice... some people I know in person (not on the myspace pages) kind of gave me advice, although maybe true,...
Posted by on Sat, 16 May 2009 12:40:00 GMT

Hi my name is Carrie Prejean and I'm a Virgin...

Would you like to see my Sash? or my fake breasts? I am a sore loser, I lost the contest because I lost the contest (not enough points), but don't worry, I am smarter than I look, and I am able to c...
Posted by on Thu, 14 May 2009 10:42:00 GMT

Miss America Vs. Perez Hilton

sorry if this offends anyone, but I am on the side of Mr. Hilton in this round...Beauty pagents are full of skanks and are outdated..Miss California is a phony hypocrite..on the other hand I am glad I...
Posted by on Mon, 27 Apr 2009 11:37:00 GMT

The small Trojan Vibrator

I received an email from Ok!! magazine advertising the new Trojan fingertip vibrator...its not for sale in some states?? Are the sodomy sex toy laws still on the books?? and by the way, can't it be us...
Posted by on Fri, 17 Apr 2009 13:17:00 GMT