Hello, my name is April Dansie. I am convinced that I am one of the coolest girl's you will ever meet.
I am twenty one years old. I'm still just a girl, and I'm pondering when I'll actually decide it's okay to become a woman. I still view myself as immature, and sometimes disguise my maturity as immaturity. I adore yet hate change. I am afraid of growing up. I view growing up as the discontinuance of growing and the inability to learn once you reach that point of being “grown up.” I believe that life is about learning lessons, and there is no room for regret. I believe the "mistakes" I make each day are actually things that make me who I am and I wouldn't change those experiences for the world. I don't ever want to think I'm smart enough. I want to continue gaining knowledge and learning lessons until I die, and even after that.
Sometimes I take people a little too seriously, and at times it feels as though people don't take me seriously enough. All I really want is for people to understand me, and respect my views no matter what they are. I want to be heard. I try to treat other people with this respect, and I know I have a faulty system when it comes to respecting opinions that differ from mine. As I grow and begin to understand who I am, I am also beginning to understand why respecting differing opinions is so hard. I think respect is something that is gained not something that should automatically be given. I'll give you my trust before I give you my respect. I don't believe that because you're older than me you deserve my respect. I can't control my age, nor how long I have been alive. With age comes growth, and with growth comes knowledge. With this knowledge then comes understanding. I realize that through age also comes the ability to have more experiences. This is no reason to treat others as though you are more or less superior than them. This also doesn't validate me to treat you differently because I am older or younger than you. I think it's possible for someone that is younger than me to be more knowledgeable, and more experiencedn than me. I believe that everyone deserves a fair chance to gain respect. I'll respect you if you respect who I am.
I am independent, but still depend on other people. I love my mother, and have become more cognizant to the fact that I cling to her. I don't view this as a fault. I think it's natural and okay to cling to the person that created me. I love her with all my heart, and don't know what I would do without her. She's the best friend anyone could want in this world. I don't ever want to loose her. She is the only person that listens when I feel I'm not being heard, and gives advice when I need to hear it. I couldn't ask for a better mother than her. She has taught me so many things through the experiences she has had in her lifetime. She's given me a better life than I could ever ask for. I love her with all my heart. She's the best support system anyone could ever hope for. Even when I make mistakes she is always there to tell me I'm okay, and that people make mistakes while learning. She has taught me to learn from my mistakes and move on. She is also the one that taught me the importance of self love, and that's it's okay to be alone. I'll never be alone even if I'm physically alone. She'll always be there. I love her so much.
I think that trust is one of the most important things you can gain from someone, and one of the most crucial things to give to others. I think that people have a tendency to give away their love before they will yield their full trust to someone. I have a hard time with people lying to me. Nobody likes to be lied to, but I feel as though it's a personal jab when people don't tell me the truth. I won't deny that I lie to people sometimes. I'm human, and I'm scared of other people's judgment and try to shy away from feeling inadequate. I have difficulty understanding that people are embarrassed or simply too scared to share the things they have experienced thus far in life. Sometimes secrets bring up feelings we don't want to deal with, and it's just easier to pretend they don't exist than to deal with them. I no longer have any secrets. I have given every single one away. I am not afraid of the lessons they taught me anymore. I am also no longer afraid of the judgment that could come from sharing them. I wish everyone would look at life as a learning experience. I give trust away easily. Some people tell me this is a fault, and I have to disagree. It's just who I am.
I have a tendency to get jealous easily, and won't deny that I'm insecure in relationships. I worry about the image I present to others. Sometimes I worry people are judging me harshly, and before I can realize it I'm judging them worse than they were ever judging me. I have a hard time with how I look physically. Very gradually I'm beginning to realize that the only person that's judging my body is me.
I love myself, and believe the only way to truly love another is to love yourself. With love anything is possible, and the more you love yourself, the easier it is to love others. I believe that dreams can come true if you believe they can. You can do anything as long as you believe it can happen. I value the relationships I make and build with others, and love the people that surround me with all my heart. The word hate is not in my vocabulary. I am a powerful person and with God's help and my spirit's collaboration it's possible for me to do anything. I believe that love is the most powerful and beautiful thing in the world. Without love, life would be pointless. I believe in soul mates, but I believe you have more than one. A soul mate can be anyone, male or female. A soul mate is someone that you have a strange connection to. It doesn't matter who they are, or what they do. Before you even talk to them, there is a funky connection and for some reason you know you're supposed to get to know that person. I believe in reincarnation, and that a soul mate is someone that you've known in one of your previous lifetimes. I believe there is someone out there that is my twin flame. Someone that is my energy's counterpart, like yin and yang. I'm still searching for that one person that can fit me perfectly, and intend to search for awhile. I long to gain more knowledge, and plan to continue learning my entire life.
I am currently residing in Skagway, Alaska. It's a tiny town North of Juneau that caters to tourists. The population during the winter is 817, but in the summer it's around 2,500 people. On a good day, (i.e. a day from hell) the cruise ships bring in around 5,000 people. The streets look like Disneyland, and the tourists act like they're in an amusement park. I have a couple of friends that work as pedicab drivers and they're all making it into people's photo albums because so many people take pictures with them. Tourists are crazy.
The only way to get to Skagway is either by boat or taking a huge trek by car through Canada. I finally left America for the first time about a month ago when I actually ventured in to Canada to buy groceries. I work for a company called Temsco Helicopters that does helicopter tours of glaciers. As you can probably guess, the majority of our passengers come from the cruise ships that are constantly coming in and out of the docks. I work on the ground and load passengers into the helicopters, but I also get to fuel them. I love my job. I have met so many people working up here, and you wouldn't believe the diversity, not only of the people that I work with, but also the people that are coming in and out of here daily. There are so many people that that come from such a broad range of places. I like striking up conversations with the tourists the most. Sometimes I don't like to see the people leave Temsco because I just want to talk to them forever. It's liberating to hear about people's lives from places you've never been.
I have never seen a more beautiful town than the one I live in. It's only four blocks wide and twenty-two blocks long. My house is only nine blocks from the ocean, and so close to so many comforting places. I've never had so many natural creations at my finger tips. There are waterfalls, glaciers, lakes, and so many other things within walking distance. I've seen a bald eagle, and a bear in the wild. It's amazing, and I love it here. This is the first time I have ever lived away from home, and I'm insanely homesick...but I don't want to go home. It's posing quite the conundrum. I love and miss my family and friends to death...but I wouldn't change the experiences I'm having right now for the world.
