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I THANK GOD FOR ENLIGHTEN MY LIFE WHEN I NEEDED DIRECTION FROM SOMEONE WHO IS PURE OF HEART. I BEEN SAVED FOR THE PAST 8 YEARS, AS I RECALL MY PARENTS WERE DIVORCED WHEN I WAS 5 YEARS OLD . MY MOTHER SIMPLY GRANTED FULL CUSTODY TO MY FATHER AND REJECT ME FOR SO MANNY YEARS. AS THE TIME WENT BY MY FATHER REMARRIED. AT 6 YEARS OLD, I ENDED UP IN PUERTO RICO WITH MY GRANDPARENTS. WITH THE FAMILIAR FEELING OF REJECTION ONE MORE TIME FROM MY FATHER. AT THIS VITAL AGE I EXPERIENCED NEGLECTING BY THE TWO MOST INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE IN MY LIFE. IN WHICH WAS AFFECT EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY. ALONG WITH MY NEW LIFE. MY GRANDMOTHER SHE HAD SO MANY OTHER GRANDCHILDREN TO ATTEND TO, THERE WASN’T REALLY ANY TIME TO GIVE ME THE ATTENTION I WAS IN LACK OF. AS THE YEARS PROGRESSED INTO MY TEENAGE . I BEGAN TO REBEL TO EVERYONE DUE TO THE DISTRACT I ENDURED, DOING THE COMMON TEENAGE ACTS OF DESTRUCTION. EVENTUALLY I ENDED UP BACK IN NEW YORK WITH MY FATHER BECAUSE MY GRANDPARENTS WEREN’T ABLE TO HANDLE MY ISSUES. MY FATHER BEGAN TO CONTROL AND ISOLATE AND ABUSE ME IN EFFORT TO TAME MY “WILDâ€BEHAVIOR, NOT REALIZING THAT I WAS SEEKING HIS AFFECTION MORE MORE THAN ANYTHING HE COULDN’T SEE MY HEART CRYING OUT TO HIM. I COULD BARE THE CONTINUOUS PAIN FOR VERY LONG SO RAN AWAY FROM IT. AFTER HEARING OF MY MOTHER INTEREST OF REUNITING WITH ME . THIS TIME SHE CHANGE WITH ME AND THOUGHT BY GIVING ME EVERYTHING MATERIAL IT WOULD MAKE UP FOR WHAT SHE DID IN THE PAST, THAT WASN’T I WAS LOOKING FOR. I WANT TO BE LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING . AFTER I WENT OUT IN SEARCH OF REPLACEMENT FOR ALL I DIDN’T HAVE TO BLOCK THE REALITY OF WHAT WAS GOING ON . SO I BEGAN TO LINGER ON TO WHAT STREETS HAD TO OFFER CLUBS. DRINKING, DRUGS, DATING LOOKING FOR A FATHER FIGURE . I STILL HAD THAT EMPTINESS IN MY HEART. I MET MY HUSBAND AT AGE OF 17 TO ME HE WAS MY SALVATION AND DIRECTION AND HE TOOK CONTROL OF ME IN WHICH I COULD NEVER FIGHT OFF BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID OF BEEN REJECT AGAIN! WITH THAT CARE ABUSE I WASN’T STRONG ENOUGH TO STOP. I HAD MY FIRST CHILD WITHING THAT FIRST YEAR , EVERYTHING WAS FINE, NOW I HAD THIS LITTLE PERSON TO LOVE AND GIVE AFFECTION BUT THAT WASN’T ENOUGH I STILL HAD THAT EMPTINESS IN MY LIFE,I STILL FELT THE REJECTION. THEN ANOTHER TWO YEARS WHEN BY , MY SECOND PREGNANCY MY HUSBAND WAS INCARCERATED AND WAS LEFT ALONE. MY MOTHER WAS THERE FOR ME . SHE GAVE THE LOVE TO MY CHILDREN THAT SHE NEVER GAVE ME BUT STILL WASN’T ENOUGH , SHE PAST AWAY ON JANUARY 6 1982 . MY WORLD CAME DOWN, ONE MORE TIME I WAS LEFT ALONE AGAIN . DIDN'T HAVE ANY BODY TO TALK TO, LOST IN MY OWN WORLD. MY HUSBAND WAS STILL INCARCERATED REGARDLESS OF HIS PHYSICAL ABSENCE HE STILL MANAGED TO ABUSE ME EMOTIONALLY AND PUT ME DOWN. I REBELLED TOWARDS HIM AND WENT ABOUT DOING THINGS TO GET BACK AT HIM. WITHOUT REALIZING THE WRONG IN DOING . HE CAME BACK AND COURSE I WENT BACK TO HIM WITH IN TIME OF 4 YEARS HAD TWO MORE CHILDREN ALONG WITH EVERYTHING ELSE, WHERE EVER I DID IT WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH . AS MY CHILDREN GREW OLDER THEY BEGAN TO WITNESS THE ABUSE THAT WENT ON IN OUR HOME. I STARTED DRINKING HEAVILY IN MY HOME BEHIND CLOSED DOORS. I WAS ALREADY SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY AND THE OLDER MY KIDS GOT THEY SHOWED SIGN OF THE ABUSE THAT THEY SAW AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO, OR WHO TO TALK TO,IN THE MIST OF EVERYTHING I MET SOMEONE THAT SPOKE TO ME ABOUT GOD, I FELT THAT PEACE EVERY TIME SHE SPOKE TO ME I WANTED TO SEE, IF GOD WOULD UNDERSTAND HOW I FELT ALL SHE SAID TO ME HE ALLREADY NEW WHEN HE DIE IN THE CROSS FOR US MY TEARS WHERE COMING DOWN. I FINALLY FOUND THE DAY THAT I HAD THE STRENGTH TO GIVE UP AND SURRENDER TO JESUS HE SET ME FREE FROM ALL THAT WAS DESTROYING ME . FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, GOD SHOWED ME HOW IT FEEL TO LOVED BY SOMEONE UNCONDITIONALLY DESPITE OF ALL MY FLAWS. THE LORD TOOK HUSBAND OUT OF THE HOME. THE LORD HAS HEAL MY WOUNDS AND HE HAS SET ME FREE. THERE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE IN MY LIFE. ALEYUA I CAN’ T SEE MY SELF WITH OUT GOD HE BEEN GOOD TO ME HE HAS BEEN BE MY TRUE FRIEND AND THE FATHER THAT I WAS LOOKING FOR ALL THIS YEARS. ALEYUA!!! GLORY TO GOD!!!I FORGAVE, MY HUSBAND, MY MOTHER, MY FATHER, MY GRANDPARENTS, EVERYBODY THAT HAS HURT ME. EVEN MYSELF FOR LETING THE ABUSE GO FOR SO MANNY YEAR'S. THAT WHY I COULD TALK ABOUT THE PEACE THAT GOD HAS GIVING ME.WHO AM I NOT FORGIVE IF GOD FOR GAVE ME AND LOVE ME.AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE WE WILL SERVE THE LORD!!!!!PSALM 103: HE FORGIVE YOUR SINS - EVERRY ONES. HE HEALS YOUR DISEASES - EVERY ONES. HE REDEEMS YOU FROM HELL - SAVES YOUR LIFE! HE CROWNS YOU WITH LOVE AND MERCY - A PARADISE CROWN. HE WRAPS YOU IN GOODNESS - BEAUTY ETERNAL. HE RENEWS YOUR YOUTH - YOU'RE ALWAYS YOUND IN HIS PRESENCE.Profile Graphics - SoulCityGraphics.com ..
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