chock full o' nails! profile picture

chock full o' nails!

I am here for Friends

About Me

Aside from my day job being a glamourous ear model for most excellent catalogs such as JC Penney's, I am a renegade assassin/soldier hired by a group of wealthy patriots to stop the proliferation of Starbucks in our great land. You laugh now, but you won't be laughing when you see the tanks with their logo rolling through your city, when Seattle is renamed Starbuckle, and the West Coast cedes from the Union, naming Jim Donald CEO/President for life. You'll want me on that wall. You'll NEED me on that wall. Really... I'd like to think I'm a charismatic figure, though I reckon it's liquor and name-dropping authors on wayward co-eds that defines me. I also thought I'd gotten over being angry at pop culture phenomena and uber-celebrities, but I still fume when I think of American Idol and CSI and Beyonce and the Da Vinci Code. I know, it's pathetic to spend time gnashing teeth on... Oh yeah, I fucking hate wiggers and ketchup.<a

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Don Rickles, other glamourous parts models, Marion Barry, Redman, Vincent Gallo, Ricardo Mayorga, your mom, Bob Dylan, A really hot Dominatrix with a proverbial heart of gold, Dr. Wladimir Klitschko, Hugo Chavez and Monica Sweetheart. Oh yeah, some ninjas. That'd be pretty cool.Header Banner Made with MyBannerMaker.com! Click here to make your own!

My Blog

may day

The songs are screaming like a row of teeth, all hard on the outside holding little blue guns. Drainpipes begging to be hit and my fist don't feel anymore since she said that thing about the nu...
Posted by on Fri, 01 May 2009 13:32:00 GMT

the zero man's brother (and again (part II))

The zero man had a twin brother who was known as the one man. Theone man was bitter and very opinionated. It should go without sayingthat he was also alone and resented it very much. The one man did n...
Posted by on Tue, 14 Apr 2009 10:32:00 GMT

a real nowhere man

He is the zero man, the sum of all his failures. His shirt isuntucked and he smells of beer, eyes glassy from pique or rheumyabusings. He is the same man with no words for fixing as he was the daybefo...
Posted by on Sun, 12 Apr 2009 17:11:00 GMT

oh, all time is slippery like worn sand

There are skinned-knee boys circlingthe magnolia, all with piercing eyesand each a sea unto himself. There aregirls waiting by a pitcher of tea, lemon-sweattrickling the sides just noticeableover the ...
Posted by on Tue, 17 Mar 2009 19:40:00 GMT

aversion and dilution

I sell it afire, aloof in diluted proofreadersyncopation, all scissor kicks and liturgiesunwritten.Pressed on like unwashed martyr hipsin subway cars at the last well-litstation, the drunks grown quie...
Posted by on Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:31:00 GMT

a hundred to one

homecoming, late and drunkkiss the lightning outside the latticeworkthe crippled aunt in the windowand you threw a bottlecap towards hertowards the tessellated night skyawash in bad intentionand swoll...
Posted by on Tue, 27 Jan 2009 00:06:00 GMT

the end of time, outside

Whiskey spent and daringthe outlying night for troubleswritten in the creases of her momma's brow.There is money on the sawbuck tablefor the takingif you think you can skirt aroundthose glassy drunken...
Posted by on Mon, 26 Jan 2009 23:28:00 GMT

when the music's over

Who conjured up those parking lotfist fights where the gravel and dirtfound all the concavities of the spineand nestled in there like homesteaderslit on freedom, like bootleggers instifling hot August...
Posted by on Sun, 25 Jan 2009 01:56:00 GMT

something she said

her skin on my skin,skin of my skin.some dim fire out beyondthe scarred nightbreathes her whisperin behind the smokeof intention.my skin is the drumfor catching her heart'shigh beating.my hand is the ...
Posted by on Mon, 08 Dec 2008 16:38:00 GMT

the great depression

A happenstance of ugly biblesand withered gladiolasgathered in the floorand she gave a wooden staretowards yonder roomwhere a mess of children painted their white bellieswith bacon grease and stabbedt...
Posted by on Thu, 04 Dec 2008 22:47:00 GMT