WARNING!
*Please bear in mind that the following may contain passages written with a certain slight bias, or indulging in historical/factual inaccuracies and blatant lies. The writer can't help it, he's a vain S.O.B. after all*
Hi there, I'm Russell, and I invented the mailbox. I was born in 200 log cabins near Louisville, Saturn, and my heritage is mostly European swallow. I used to have at least a semi-serious bio here, until I realized that no one reads these ruddy things and just judges everyone based on their pictures. I am Parashurama, the sixth avatar of Vishnu! I also enjoy funnel cake.
To the left and down-a-ways you will find a section listing various works of fiction that I, your humble monarch and glorious bartender, have completed thus far. Collect them all and win a prize! No purchase necessary. Must be 150 or older to enter. I would greatly appreciate any efforts to read through such piles of unimaginable slop and furthermore will offer obscene sexual favors to the elderly family and pets of those who respond with biting and savage criticism.
I endorse various bands/artists/causes/toilet bowl cleaners whose images you can find below, and who I suspect will all soon flounder due to said endorsement. Maybe it's because I'm secretly an Abyssinian Nazi watchmaker. You should look into them since they'll all be gone soon.
And finally, swing by the Baxter Avenue Morgue in Louisville this October to see my lovely features and graceful ballet-inspired performance in what is arguably the best haunted house in all of 451 Baxter Avenue.
Yours,
Beelzebuddha
Who Are You In The Cthulhu Mythos?
You are NYARLATHOTEP, the mind, spirit, physical representation of and messenger to, the Outer Gods. Often manifesting in human form, Nyarlathotep is a great manipulator of humans, bending them to the will of his masters.In true form Nyarlathotep is a 55' tall monstrosity with a giant trunk-like proboscis. But he prefers the guise of a human, often appearing as a rich, well educated man, bending people to his will and towards their ultimate downfall.
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