But now I’m a man seeking change and a different ending to this story.
Many men have walked the path that I have walked in life only to become victim to their past and it eats them alive.
Many have died angry at the world when really, it is only themselves that the anger is for in which they hide inside.
I may still be trapped and encaged by the Demons of my past but in the end, I will defeat them all and put them all behind me and Never let them control me again.
Cuz society has told me before that I wouldn’t make it to see 18 and then 21 and then 25.
Shit I wonder if they are mad to see me 28 years strong and still walking alive.
Able to read able to write able to eat, swallow, and bite.
Able to live and in Gods graciousness instead of walking with the Beast and the Demons.
Able to know the difference between wrong and right. Be able to fight the temptations in my mind and release my stress through this pen and my poems that I often lose myself in.
I wake up everyday to a struggle between wrong and right.
We all know that is the easy way to get money and it will come fast with major chances involved.
So me I just do me and the Temptations may never ever go away it’s all a part of this thing we call life.
Life is what we make it and the image of our race is just like a mirror.
What light you put into the mirror is what will come out, so if we act all crazy they will be afraid so do you get the big picture.
I almost let the Shadows take me under and spent a lot of time writing letters to family.
Now I sit with a pen or a keyboard and hope that if only just one the youth seeking the truth will understand me.
Many are trapped in the life and no way to get away
I chose to look for the drama cuz my mamma worked too much to be a parent. Curiosity got me into the system and the many situations I thank God for letting me live.
Im not too manly to say that many nights I sat in bed and cried plenty of nights tears from my eyes.
Nor am I too big too say that many nights I have sat in the free world when life gets to me and cried till my tear ducts where dry.
I have lied, stolen and done many thing that are not right in life and in Gods eyes.
Im still living and breathing and walking even though it is on a very thin line.
My mission in life to me is still so unclear and I have so many dreams and aspirations in my vision.
Wishes and hopes and all could crumble with one wrong choice and become my demise.
My head stay’s forward shoulders forward and not looking to the right or the left with my eyes.
Cuz if im not looking forward I could run into a wall and that has surely been the story of my life its like a fight to the death.
I constantly ask God what he wants me to do and thank him for my life and allowing me to be able to use this pen as my means of escaping my stress.I give 100% of my heart soul and mind whenever I write and never 1% less.
But it seems like the World is getting worse each day and the gap that many people fight to close gets wider everyday.
The bottomless pit is real and Hell is real as well, and the way we choose to live now is the way we will live in the after life and I hope to get to the cities above the clouds.
This poem is for the struggle and the struggle is from now until this world quits spinning on it’s Axis.
Struggle is like pieces to the puzzle and is gauranteed in life like the fact that you will always pay taxes.
I fight and I ask all of you to fight each day and help the youth to be able to see that the shit they see on T.V. is nothing but a way to be able to keep us in the mind-frame that we have to do this or that.
With no money though you cant do shit no matter how much they bling,sparkle or glow.
So many of our young men do push ups on the floor in prisons across the country. Hungry for freedom and wishing they could have that chance back again because the day they will never get to to see when the system opens those gates to release them.
It’s real and life is not a game, no cheat codes no continues no starting over.
One wrong choice and it could cost you forever and your lungs could breath that last breath and your heart could be beating no more.
Life is real,and the enemy will tell you that you aint shit and do anything to discourage you and make you want to quit and not move at all.
Problems don’t get solved by taking drugs or alcohol as soon as the high is gone you are face to face with them problems again and its like running into a wall.
So don’t be dumb at all.
Im talking educate each other and lets get this shit together and bring all the drama to a stall.
Got the basic stats right below me. Aside from those, ask just about anything you want. I won't shy away from a question because if you got the balls to ask it, I probably have the balls to answer it.
Im a sarcastic witty fuck and people often take my humor for brashness or rudeness, but I just find its more enjoyable being sarcastic, I'm the type to laugh at a funeral and I'm one to laugh today about something that happened yesterday.
But as nice as I am... Dont dare take my kindness for weakness. Don't abuse my good heart because then I will get angry. You won't like me very much when you get me angry. And thats true, thats DAMN TRUE.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Ryan / Rookie
Birthday: May 15th 1982
Birthplace: Manhattan
Current Location: Brooklyn
Eye Color: Dark Brown
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 5'8
Right Handed or Left Handed: Righty
Your Heritage: Irish and Italian
The Shoes You Wore Today: My Workboots (most days)
Your Weakness: Candle-lit atmospheres, beautiful eyes, an intelligent girl, good sence of humor
Your Fears: Being left alone after committing again
Your Perfect Pizza: Can you say Bacon? (said in french accent)
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Quit smoking!
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: "..."
Thoughts First Waking Up: Time for morning already?
Your Best Physical Feature: My abs
Your Bedtime: usually before 12
Your Most Missed Memory: i miss a lot of my memories....
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King: McD's Fries... BK's Burger.. Wendy's Chicken
Single or Group Dates: Romantic single dates are the best... but group can be fun at times too
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee
Do you Smoke: Yeah, but im quitting!!!
Do you Swear: Are you fucking shitting me? Why the fuck would you think I would swear? hahah
Do you Sing: ... i dont know if you can call what i do singing... but i damned sure try a lot
Do you Shower Daily: no... 2 times
Have you Been in Love: yes i have been and am now
Do you want to go to College: graduated
Do you want to get Married: yes i do
Do you belive in yourself: I believe I am really here, so yeah I believe in Ryan, thats about it.
Do you get Motion Sickness: yeah it sucks
Do you think you are Attractive: ... im not ugly
Are you a Health Freak: not really but thats changing
Do you get along with your Parents:
Do you play an Instrument: clarinet
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: nope
In the past month have you Smoked: yeah
In the past month have you been on Drugs: just weed
In the past month have you gone on a Date: kinda sorta
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: nope
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: ... still havent done it since the last time i filled this survery out... i still need to!
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: nope, never and a day ago
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: nope
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: i dont think so... im pretty sure i havent
Ever been Drunk: yeah
Ever been called a Tease: nope... i finish what i start
Ever been Beaten up: jumped by 2 guys on the train after i tried to stop them from molesting a girl
Ever Shoplifted: yeah
How do you want to Die: in my bed... asleep
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Im an electrician
What country would you most like to Visit: italy, Venice
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: dont matter, but i've always loved lighter eyes. Greens and blues and hazels. Im an eye guy damn it!
Favourite Hair Color: dont matter
Short or Long Hair: dont matter so long as it looks correct on the person
Height: not 10 feet tall
Weight: i like girls with meat on them
Best Clothing Style: Whatever looks good on that person
Number of Drugs I have taken: a lot when i was younger
Number of CDs I own: not many anymore... mp3s on the other hand
Number of Piercings: 2... Tongue and right ear
Number of Tattoos: one... Cross on my right arm
Number of things in my Past I Regret: dont regreat anything so long as i learned something from it
Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle...
What's Your Kissing Style?
MY RESULT: Tender Kisser
As soft and sweet as the kiss of a gummi bear.
You generally reserve your kisses for people you really, truly care about. And when the two of you finally lock lips, it’s tender, sweet and fit for a greeting card. If your kiss was a photograph, it would be in soft focus. If your kiss was a hot dog, it would be a vegetarian hot dog. Everyone you kiss loves your kisses, because they’re better than sweet iced tea on an August afternoon.
Take This Quiz!
"The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the full light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny... It is the light that guides your way."
~ Heraclitus
Eiyu Akarino.. Being of the Light.
What type of Swordsman are you?
You are a Samurai.You have trained the majority of your life. You are honerable, you follow your word. You spare no one once in combat, but that is expected, for your oponent would do the same to you. You use a two-handed katana.
Take this quiz !
Quizilla | Join| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
Click to zoom in on my visitor map!