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About Me

Stand up comic, writer and frustrated midfield dynamo (that damn metatarsal). Hull, East Yorkshire is my birthplace and I like it which is why I'm still here, that, and the electronic tag. I used to be in a band with one of the Proclaimers, never found out which one. I used to be on stage doing a memory man act but I packed that in because, well, I forget why now. I worked at a greyhound track until I had a bad hare day. Now I wander the country plying my trade and selling my wares to unsuspecting comedy audiences. When I'm all alone, late at night, in somewhere like Scunthorpe or Chorley, I always find solace and comfort in the first words my girlfriend ever said to me, "Do you want business luv?"

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Stand up comics, musicians, writers and literary snobs.

My Blog

Comedy Spermbank

So I've been spending the last few weeks writing a whole load of new material.  Well that was the plan but it's only when I decide to make a concerted effort to do something that I realise how ...
Posted by on Fri, 28 Dec 2007 12:55:00 GMT

Bad review - Please make me feel better

I want you to know now that I don't care about what I'm about to share, it hasn't bothered me at all, it means nothing to me, it hasn't affected me in anyway. But my last gig got a bad review.  ...
Posted by on Thu, 08 Nov 2007 03:26:00 GMT

Dirty Old Town

I always do 2 or 3 minutes of topical material at the start of a gig.  It tends to be something I've read on the train that amused me, a discarded Daily Mail is usually fertile ground.  Some...
Posted by on Tue, 23 Oct 2007 20:33:00 GMT

This Guitar kills Flashers

In an effort to add even more variety to my already spiced up and vibrant  material, I have decided to try a bit of musical stuff.  Now very little gets past me so I quickly worked out ...
Posted by on Mon, 15 Oct 2007 08:09:00 GMT

Guerrilla Gig

So I'm going up to London to do a gig.  Sounds good eh?  Only three problems; one, I'm not getting paid, two, I'm not getting expenses and three the gig is a favour for an old mate.&nbs...
Posted by on Tue, 09 Oct 2007 14:39:00 GMT

Boys Dont Cry

Last night I did something I've never done before.  Don't panic, it wasn't anything religious or sexual.  It happened at a gig I was doing at a pub venue and for the very first time ever, I ...
Posted by on Thu, 04 Oct 2007 11:40:00 GMT

Is comedy the new Rock and Roll?

If comedy is the new rock and roll then I seem to have got all of Cliff Richard's groupies.  How difficult can it be for a comedy audience to grasp that the act is open to an evening of pointless...
Posted by on Tue, 25 Sep 2007 15:18:00 GMT