"Alice is the only southerner I know. Actually that's a lie. What I mean to say is she's my second favourite thing from Bristol, after Skins but before Justin Lee Collins. The thing that most people don't know about Alice is that she has psychic abilities to predict what other people will wear, but this is only one of her skills. She also has super flirting powers, has mastered the fine art of crab dancing and apparantly makes rather nice cakes, but she is not so good at keeping goldfish, or remembering which is left and which is right. I do not like it when Alice gives me directions.
Alice stole a bus pass from a homeless person a couple of years ago and once deflowered a young church boy in a deckchair. Until recently she thought that Glasgow was in Wales, and word on the street is that she actually quite likes the Arctic Monkeys. She also has the handwriting of a chicken. However, she has met the mighty Gordon Burns, so I'll forgive her. She will go far in life."
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