Blue Sapphire Freak - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I would give anything in this world to be able to touch someone and be able to feel every painful emotion they have ever encumbered, to know every fiber of their being more than they know themselves, to understand every aspect to all their decisions good and bad, and to see the beauty that lies within their broken hearts. I wish I could mend every broken heart, undo every lie told, open hearts that have been locked up, erase damaging memories, and to also be the answer to what someone needs in their life. There is a small percentage of people in this world that would do anything for someone else, that would not lie, cheat, steal, or hurt them in anyway...that have been hurt and used so many times in their life before, that they could NEVER do it to someone else. I am one of those people, I dive head first into relationships...of course it may sound stupid, but why hold back, holding back may be holding back from true happiness, but it also may lead to a broken heart. In order to let good in your life, bad has to slip in too for balance. I am nothing now but an emtpy shell, only to be filled with happiness, love, laughter, and life, and there is no more room in my life for anger, jealousy, hate, or pain. There is so much inside of me I want to be heard, to be known but no one is there to listen...if only everyone would be given a chance of their own...happiness will come. If only I could speak as I write...when it comes to communicating with others I can definately speak my mind but I have trouble starting conversations with people, I get all toungue tied, I guess I get nervous thinking I don't want to say anything stupid, but I could write and write forever. Poetry is a passion of mine...I need to start again. That is probably why it's hard for me to meet people, but just like anyone, the more I am around someone the more I can open up. I have been away from my home in Lakeland for so long and have become a new and better person due to many changes in my life. I vowed to myself I would never return to this crappy city but I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe every person is placed in our paths for a reason also. Certain people are put in your lives to teach you lessons, confide in, share knowledge, make you stronger, or smarter, or they are old foes put back in your life somehow for you to forgive and let go and sometimes even become friends with. I have had my share of foes but have been able to let my grudges go because I am an adult and people change, I've matured, and have also needed my transgressions forgiven by others. I now live with my sister and 2 1/2 year old nephew Cody, whom I am so luckly to watch grow up now that I am living here again. I am the First Assistant Manager at Casual Male XL. I love my job. I wish I could say that I believe family is everything...but as much as I wish that, I can't. There is only some of my family that I can actually count on and know that will always be there for me and my best friend Tanya. I know when I have a family, MY family will be my world and will always come first and foremost. That is the only thing that I am taking from my family now, knowing that I NEVER wanna be like them at all...Judgemental, Negative, Careless, Selfish, etc.Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Film | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Videos | Music | Comedy | Classifieds

My Interests

Playing video games, spending time with my nephew, meeting new people, watching movies, playing pool, rollerblading, fishing, watching music videos, listening to music, daydreaming, and eating...I LOVE FOOD!

I'd like to meet:

EXACTLY WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR IN A PARTNER Someone to be with me always through thick and thin. Someone to share my thoughts, hopes, and dreams. Someone who will lend me their shoulder to cry on. Someone who will kiss my booboos. Someone to hold me close. Someone to whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Someone to act goofy with. Someone to listen. Someone to cuddle with. Someone to play with my hair. Someone to just be there for me. Someone who connects on a deep level with me. Someone to laugh with. Someone to tickle me(gently). Someone who will whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Someone who will read my poetry. Someone who believes in me. Someone to sing to. Someone to take care of me when I am sick, bringing me soup and medicine. Someone to make me laugh. Someone to watch movies with. Someone to take walks with me. Someone to wash away my tears. Someone that will care for me. Someone who can just sit with me and enjoy my prescence. Someone who will send flowers to my work to make my day better. Someone who would drive an hour to see me only for a few minutes. Someone who will share their heart and soul with me. Someone that wants to be with me and ONLY me. Someone I can trust with my life. Someone that would die for me. Someone who will give me butterflies in my stomach when I see them even after months of being with them. Someone who will dance with me. Someone who wants to take care of me. Someone that wants to have kids someday. Someone that doesn't smoke. Someone who won't break their promises. Someone I can make love to and know when I wake up they will still be next to me smiling over at me. Someone who will never leave me. Someone who will tell me I am beautiful and truly mean it. Someone that will go out at 3:00 in the morning if I have a craving for icecream or anything for that matter. Someone that will wipe away my tears. Someone who is not afraid to introduce me to their friends or family. Someone who is extrmemly affectionate and has no problem with showing Public Affection. Someone who won't lie to me. Someone who will be faithful. Someone who won't ever lay a hand on me to hurt me or verbally abuse me. Someone to be my bestfriend and my lover. Someone who will not talk badly behind my back. Someone who will defend me and stand up for me. Someone who will be my hero. Someone that will fall so deeply in love with me, marry me, and someday start a family with me. I am always in need of a good friend also.

Music:

Evanescense, Hinder, Chingy, Luda, Plummet, Ne-Yo, Lil Wayne, Sevendust, Pussycat Dolls, Cassie, Disturbed, Edwin McCain, Chamillionaire, Natalie Imbruglia, Lacuna Coil, Incubus, Mariah Carey, Mary J Blige, Cascada, Darude

Movies:

Napoleon Dynamite, Super Toopers, American Wedding, 50 First Dates, Team America, EuroTrip, Clerks, JackAss the Movie, Road Trip, Patch Adams, Jay and Silent Bob, 28 Days Later, Blade, Anger Management, Saw, The Butterfly Effect, The Bourne Identity, Anchorman, Half-Baked, Euro Trip, Deuce Bigalow Male Gigalo, Forces of Nature, Wedding Planner, The Benchwarmers..

Television:

CSI, Aqua Team Hunger Force, ER, Scrubs, South Park, Sponge Bob Square Pants, Everbody Loves Raymond, The Family Guy, Mad TV, Extreme Makeover, Nip Tuck, That 70's Show, Grey's Anatomy, Pimp My Ride, Passions, Days of our Lives

Books:

I absolutely love The Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind. It is from the TOR Fantasy books. I also love Clan of The Cave Bears By Jean Auel.

Heroes:

Anyone that picks me up when I fall down and the people that are there for me always through thick and thin. The ones that laugh with me, not at me. The ones that love me for who I am and don't try to change me. The ones that are there not only when I am in need for a friend, but always. I wish I had a hero.....

My Blog

YAY!

I am so excited! I just got a silver nano ipod from Walmart. I've been needing one so I can exercise without carrying around my cdwalkman. I can't remember when the last time I actually boug...
Posted by Jessica on Sun, 07 Jan 2007 08:05:00 PST

Confusion lingers in the air

Alot of time things get misunderstood between two people that like eachother. One just wants to see others or doesn't know what they want and one has their heart set on only wanting one person. ...
Posted by Jessica on Sat, 06 Jan 2007 06:06:00 PST

I'm such a screwup, I hate myself

Honestly, jealousy was a main factor for the breakup in a past long relationship.. BECAUSE OF IT, I vowed to myself that I would NEVER again let jealousy come between someone I take int...
Posted by Jessica on Fri, 05 Jan 2007 09:27:00 PST

I See Right Through To You

In high school I was not popular. I was not a freak or a nerd. I wasn't a loner or a troublemaker, and I wasn't low class. I had my own lil' place in the middle where I was comfortable with myself. I ...
Posted by Jessica on Tue, 02 Jan 2007 07:30:00 PST

Ghosts

Oh god not this again! I lived here in Carlton Arms about 3 years ago and I was terrified to stay in my apartment alone due to many supernateral things in my apartment. I literally ran out the door sc...
Posted by Jessica on Tue, 02 Jan 2007 04:45:00 PST

Nothing Left But An Empty Shell

Kiss Me At Midnight

Yet another holiday, no boyfriend to spend it with, alone again. Not knowing, and having the strictest regard for the truth, I feel the greatest delicacy to exposutlate, upon a subject that is obvious...
Posted by Jessica on Sun, 31 Dec 2006 05:05:00 PST

Ohhhh...that feels sooo gooood!!!

Eversince my 4 1/2 year relationship ended back in September 2004, my life has consisted of only two things, working and sleeping, not much else. I would get up, go to work, come home, shower, and sle...
Posted by Jessica on Sun, 24 Dec 2006 05:15:00 PST

Back to square one

For so long I have waited to find that special someone. The one that would make my heart melt and make my stomach flutter. The man that would make all my dreams come true. I found that one, that made ...
Posted by Jessica on Wed, 20 Dec 2006 02:40:00 PST

Things to Do When Your Bored

Blow bubbles with bubble gum.Blow on a beer bottle.Blow on a blade of grass.Crank up some music.Cut out photos and paste them on Popsicle sticks and have a puppet show.Eat 6 spoon full of sugar, a sod...
Posted by Jessica on Thu, 07 Dec 2006 07:07:00 PST