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I'd like to meet:

Chuck Norris. Here are a few facts about this god among men:1)When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women. 2)Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. 3)Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure. 4)There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris. 5)There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. 6)Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger; it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in the face that day. 7)Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. 8)Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. 9)Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway. 10)A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded. 11)Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya". 12)Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. 13)Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" 14)The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. 15)Everyone always wears Superman pajamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. (thanks joe)Newest Facts............. 16)Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous. 17)The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist. 18)Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear. 19)Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress 20)Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. 21)If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever. 22) The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade. 23)Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill. 24)Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them. 25)Chuck Norris's favorite vegetable is Terri Schiavo