Scariest Pumpkin EVER - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Welcome!
I'm Jon. Also known as "Pam-Pam", "Poochie", and occasionally "Ms. Bunnits". I lived in Boulder City and I'm in school to be the mascot for the Georgia Peaches and I give drunks a place to sleep. I'm extremely attractive with my beautiful blue eyes. I like hamgummers. I am the most beautiful person to ever live. Seriously, they've run blood tests and did that little thing where they hit below your knee to make you kick (patellar tendon reflex). It's science. I can't stand boring people, Jesse from Saved By the Bell, or people who bitch a lot. I used to LOVE cheap beer. I don't eat fast food very much, I raise chickens in my spare time to raise money for poor inner city gay kids. I make fun of people a lot and try to make them look dumb. I gained a superiority complex after realizing that I'm better than everyone. I'm not conceited. I can't stand fake people.. I'm pretty open and don't keep many secrets (except the one about me loving you, cause I do. I love you, sexy thang), unless I don't like you. I may or may not have been forced to resign from a job for sexually harrassing a lady in her fifties (60s? 70s?? who the hell knows). And I may or may not have been re-hired by the same person I may or may not have sexually harrassed. I'm uncomfortable in serious situations because of various psychological issues that you have. Bloody organs are cool.
P.S. I look like a shark
I also look like a Meerkat
P.P.S Chair Bear

My Interests

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"I've met God across his walnut desk with his diplomas hanging on the wall behind him, and God asks me, 'Why?'

Why did I cause so much pain?
Didn't I realize that each of us is a sacred, unique snowflake of special unique specialness?
Can't I see how we're all manifestations of love?

I look at God behind his desk, taking notes on a pad, but God's got this all wrong.
We are not special.
We are not crap or trash, either.
We just are.
We just are, and what happens just happens.

And God says, 'No, that's not right.'

Yeah. Well. Whatever. You can't teach God anything"

I just want the above women to know that I think they're nice and all, but I'm just not interested so please stop calling. Thank you.

"just for the record the weather is calm and sunny, but the air is full of bullshit"

I'd like to meet:

"Sometimes the best way to deal with shit is to not hold yourself as such a precious little prize"

Are you a sexually irresponsible young girl with a drinking problem? Get the help you need. Call me.

Super Tyler: The Greatest Superhero EVER

Movies:

Television:

My beautiful family. I love you guys!

This is Carl, he changed the way I live my life. Thank you Carl. You will be in my heart forever. RIP

Books:

"Condoms lined with a topical anesthetic for prolonged action. What a paradox. You don't feel a thing, but you can fuck for hours. This really seems to miss the point. I want my whole life to be lined with a topical anesthetic"

Heroes:

Albert Einstein

^
sexual tension

"The sexaholic recovery books they sell, it's every way you always wanted to get laid but didn't know how. Of course, all this is to help you realize you're a sex junkie. It's delivered in a kind of "if you do any of the following things, you may be an alcoholic" checklist. Their helpful hints include:

Do you cut the lining out of your bathing suit so your genitals show through?

Do you leave your fly or blouse open and pretend to hold conversations in glass telephone booths, standing so your clothes gap open with no underwear inside?

Do you jog without a bra or athletic supporter in order to attract sexual partners?

My answer to all the above is: I do now."

My Blog

A typical night as me

So i'm leaving my apartment last night, on my way to the children's cancer facility to do some poses for them in order to restore joy in their life, when all of a sudden I am surrou...
Posted by Scariest Pumpkin EVER on Fri, 25 Aug 2006 02:59:00 PST

What is this world coming to?

So I decide to go to my kitchen this morning to make some cereal, morning is going great and all is good and pure in the world, when all of a sudden I hear some screamimg. I turn around just in time t...
Posted by Scariest Pumpkin EVER on Sat, 21 Jan 2006 07:09:00 PST

Craziest night of my life

Ok so I went out to dinner with one of my ex-girlfriend's and her best friend. So we're all out and drinking and having a great time. They're ordering beer after beer and so am I and we're all getting...
Posted by Scariest Pumpkin EVER on Fri, 30 Sep 2005 11:12:00 PST