MyGen
Profile GeneratorFrom the writers that brought you Dustin's Biography comes a new tale, even more action-packed than the last.
DUSTIN'S BIOGRAPHY THE SEQUEL!: And Other Pretty Bitchin' Stories to Amuse You Bastards
In the last epic telling, you discovered the origins of Dustin and how he came to be the rock awesome sex machine you have all grown to love and hate. This continuation explores his more outlandish antics that have taken place during his early 20's.
Do you remember the time Dustin built a space ship out of plastic sporks from KFC and used it to command a fleet of rebel aliens against a corrupt galactic empire? This book remembers! And it's all explained in mind-numbing detail that would put Charles Dickens to sleep!
You'll puke your guts out laughing when you discover the real reason behind the origins of his name. You'll weep lightly while touching yourself when you read about how he discovered the cure for cancer, only to have it fall into a vat of molten lava that he subsequently swallowed and used to pee out his name into the side of Mount Rushmore. You'll slide into an early grave when you hear what he did to Mrs. Jenkins' cat Percy.
If you thought the first book left a wake of destruction across the world, wait till you see what THIS son of a bitch does. In the three days since its release, four moons have exploded, the pope has renounced his faith and professed his love of amputee pornography, 467,000 underage girls have become inexplicably pregnant, Godzilla has become an insurance salesman, and Uwe Boll is finally DEAD!
But again, don't take our word for it. Read the fuckin reviews!
-Newsweek hails, "This is officially, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the most biography that has ever been written!"
"BIOGRAPHY THE SEQUEL! makes all other biographies look like stories about malformed penises!" -Jeremy Scontz from The New Yorker.
-Bitch Magazine gushes, "Dustin is a pompous, self-centered asshole and I hope he chokes on his fucking tongue."
"One time when I was four, I found some chocolate on the playground and I ate it. It turns out it wasn't chocolate at all. It was human feces." -Concerned Parent
Every book comes bound in what can only be identified as "human ass skin" with pages of the Bible written over with red crayon. As an added bonus, each first edition volume comes with the smell of dirt that has been fucked by a dirty hobo. So act now before you miss out on your own wonderful piece of someone else's history!
