Due to some unfortunate circumstances I find myself temporarily living in the woods. It was probably the best decision I could have made, considering the economic pressure I'm under(I owe child support to various women). Please don't think I'm not someone worth having a romantic relationship with just because I live in the woods. I'm not a washed-out loser. As a matter of fact, people who stumble across my campsite marvel at its tidiness, and their expressions seem to say "Wow, this couldn't be a bum camped-out here! It must be a guy who's had a stroke of bad luck!" Basically, I don't linger too long in one spot. I usually bivouac in the wooded public lands along interstate highways, while sticking close enough to urbanized areas to be able to slip into town from time to time. I make a trip to town a few times a week, and try my best to find internet cafes. It wouldn't be accurate to group me with typical homeless people. I'm more of a guy in transition who's life is well in hand. I keep toiletries with me, shave every morning, bathe, have regular bowel movements, etc. i eat healthy too: mostly deer meat and other game procured in the woods. When spring comes I'll plant a vegetable and herb garden. Anyway, what I really need is a girlfriend, because it gets pretty lonely out there. Ladies, if you like passion in the deep woods... I'll chill some wine in the creek before we make love.
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