DAVE

I'd like to meet:

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: MRS.ANTONIO BANDERAS
Birthday: APRIL FOOLS DAY (I WISH I WAS KIDDING)
Birthplace: MY MOTHERS WOMB
Current Location: MY MOTHERS WOMB
Eye Color: COME HITHER BLUE
Hair Color: FOXY BROWN
Height: LARGER THAN LIFE
Right Handed or Left Handed: DEPENDS WHAT I'M DOING IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
Your Heritage: ALCOHOLISM,TOUCH OF TOURETS,SCOTTISH
The Shoes You Wore Today: SMELL LIKE DEAD DONKEY DICK
Your Weakness: THE DARKSIDE
Your Fears: BEING RAPED BY MY GRANDMA
Your Perfect Pizza: PUPPY NIPPLES AND THE TOENAIL CLIPPINGS OF A HOMELESS GUY
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: PUT ON A PRODUCTION OF OLIVER USING CORPSES I'VE DUG UP FROM THE GRAVEYARD
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: GEE PASTOR DAN,I DON'T KNOW WHAT A DIRTY SANCHEZ IS,BUT IF IT GETS ME CLOSER TO JESUS...
Thoughts First Waking Up: DID THAT CHICK LAST NIGHT HAVE AN ADAMS APPLE?
Your Best Physical Feature: MY PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY FACE
Your Bedtime: WHENEVER YOUR MOM CALLS
Your Most Missed Memory: I FORGET
Pepsi or Coke: FANTA FANTA WANTA FANTA
MacDonalds or Burger King: FANTA FANTA WANTA FANTA
Single or Group Dates: I ONLY DATE PHILIPINO MIDGETS
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: DO YOU CARE?BECAUSE IF IF YOU DO,PLEASE STOP STALKING ME
Chocolate or Vanilla: CHOCOALTE,LIKE MY MEN
Cappuccino or Coffee: REMEMBER IN RETURN OF THE JEDI WHEN THE MAMA EWOK GOT BLASTED AND THE BABY EWOK WENT OVER TO SEE IF SHE WAS OK,BUT SHE WAS DEAD?
Do you Smoke: LIKE A FUCKING CHIMNEY
Do you Swear: WHAT KIND OF FUCKING QUESTION IS THAT,YOU PUSSY FACED CUM DUMPSTER?
Do you Sing: LIKE DONALD DUCK
Do you Shower Daily: DO I SMELL LIKE I DO? TAKE A WHIFF
Have you Been in Love: I KILLED A HOOKER ONCE,SO CLOSE ENOUGH
Do you want to go to College: YEAH,LIKE HOW TED BUNDY WANTED TO GO TO COLLEGE
Do you want to get Married: SOME OF THESE QUESTIONS ARE REALLY RETARDED
Do you belive in yourself: SEE? RETARDED
Do you get Motion Sickness: I PUKE ON COMMAND
Do you think you are Attractive: OH,I DON'T THINK...I KNOW
Are you a Health Freak: I EAT BUTTER OUT OF THE CONTAINER
Do you get along with your Parents: YOU TALKIN' ABOUT MY MAMA,BITCH?
Do you like Thunderstorms: RETARDED
Do you play an Instrument: RETARDED
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: ALOT
In the past month have you Smoked: EVERYTHING EXCEPT THE FURNITURE
In the past month have you gone on a Date: HAPPY PEANUTS SOAR OVER CHOCOLATE COVERED MOUNTAIN TOPS AND WATERFALLS OF CARAMEL
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: TO SKINNY DIP IN THE FOUNTAIN
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: WHILE ON THE TOILET.YEAH,I GOT PROBLEMS
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: INSERT SMART ASS COMMENT HERE
In the past month have you been on Stage: REHEARSING FOR MY RENDITION OF OLIVER
In the past month have you been Dumped: ME AND ANTONIO ARE HAPPILY IN LOVE,WHY?WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD?
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: AT THE FOUNTAIN IN THE MALL.WOW.THATS WEIRD
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: YOUR HEART I HOPE~
Ever been Drunk: EVER BEEN SOBER? HA.HOW DO YOU LIKE ALL THE FUCKING QUESTIONS?
Ever been Beaten up: LIKE I OWED THEM MONEY
Ever Shoplifted: WHATS UP WITH THE THEFT QUESTIONS? YES.ALOT
How do you want to Die: BEING EATEN BY SHARKS WHILE SLAPPED IN THE FOREHEAD BY MICHAEL BOLTONS NUTSACK
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A FIREMAN,FUCKFACE
What country would you most like to Visit: PRANCING NUGGAT IN THE MEADOW SINGS A SONG OF SATISFACTION TO THE WORLD
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: THE WORLD
Favourite Hair Color: IS THIS SURVEY STILL GOING? JESUS
Short or Long Hair: WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?
Height: PUMPERNICKEL BAGEL
Weight: SKINNY,LIKE AN ETHIOPIAN CRACKHEAD
Best Clothing Style: STRAP ON DILDO,CLOGGING SHOES,AND ONE OF THOSE BEER HELMETS
Number of CDs I own: WHY?SO YOU CAN COME TO MY HOUSE AND BURGAL ME?FUCK YOU!!!
Number of Piercings: I TOOK MY NIPPLE RING OUT YEARS AGO,BUT NOW I HAVE ONE NIPPLE BIGGER THAN THE OTHER.NIPPLE RINGS.NOT COOL KIDDIES
Number of Tattoos: A TATTOO ON MY DICK OF A BIGGER DICK.RICKY MARTIN ON MY LEFT BUTTCHEEK.A TEARDROP FOR EACH OF MY FALLEN HOMIES
Number of things in my Past I Regret: EVERYTHING UP TOO,AND INCLUDING,THIS SURVEY~

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