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Jonathan Stephen Hoare was born in 1979. This was the highpoint in his life. A failed hospital radio DJ and Paxman wannabe he stalks the mean streets of South East Cornwall with his beyaches, clutching his only possessions of any worth, a well thumbed copy of Young Farmeress Monthly (Sheepskin edition, A Bruno Brookes jingle from 1992 and a large bottle of Merrydown Cider.His brief career as a compere without compare was cut short after what can only be described for legal reasons as "the ladder incident". However he was recently rediscovered in his local ASDA, by a northern comic masquerading as a paraplegic.In 2006 he went down on a girl who didn't commit. Today still wanted by authorities he survives as a soldier of "Wheel of Fortune" (complete with Sgt Nicky Campbell bothering him). If you have some midget gems, and if you can find Jim, maybe you could hireThe Ho Teamdurr de durr dum dumm durr........Here's what all round good egg Josiekins says about meJonny was born but ran away from his incubator after the nurses cried "Jonny wont you come on home", he came back to the incubator and realised his power over women, After college where jonny recieved 20 A's in everything, jonny, naturally disappointed by the results, took to the road. He travelled by hitching rides with truck drivers, but after 3 months had only got as far as his local Tescosbut instead of feeling sad, jonny felt elated as he had missed Aldis car park throughout his adventure, surely a sign he was destined for better. 4 Years later Jonny fell in love and married Catherine Zeta Jones, but due to Jonnys work commitments, it sadly ended, to this day Catherine has refused to even admit their marriage, she is that heartbroken.Jonny built up a steady customer base selling Loans, although he later admitted "Loaans i know nothing about loaans", a line that Phil Tuffnell stole whe he was in a lesser known loan ad. Jonny loaned out shoes and made a million in just 3 days.Sadly he spent the lot on wine and women, then squandered the rest, he now lives back home, telling everyone about his life and making them buy him beers to stop him.