MyGen Profile GeneratorI'm Jessica.
Irish & Mexican and TOTALLY proud.
I'm totally in love with living.
I fully enjoy everything in my life right now.
I fluently speak sarcasm.
I have the best family anyone could ask for.
I have the most beautiful little sister.
I have the worlds most fantastic boyfriend.
And we have a beautiful baby Buddy Patterson Lopez.
And I have a job, it's not great.
But the people are!!!!
I care about people more than myself.
I don't dick around, something's wrong, i'll say it.
I've had more downs than ups.
But my ups are better than anything.
Have I mentioned that my boyfriend is the BEST?
Life's too short to be normal,
or hold grudges.
But it is long enough to realize what you have,
you just have to realize it before it's too late.
Heidi Montag can suck my knuckle.
And so can William Shatner.
Quotes that are quite memorable...
♥Never let a man spend the night. Never apologize, never explain. Break all the rules, and it would change everything.
♥Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of.
♥If they shut me up, who will take my place?
♥Stop? Bitch, I have just started.
♥The problem with the Irish is that they'll sing at the drop of a hat, but ask them to talk and they won't.
♥You scare the shit out of people so they can't see how scared you are.
♥All women do have a different sense of sexuality, or sense of fun, or sense of like what's sexy or cool or tough.
♥This is life, not heaven. You don't have to be perfect...
♥You've kept us waiting 700 years. You can have your seven minutes.
♥ I hate them for making hate necessary, and I'll do what I can to end it.
♥I don't give a damn what men find attractive. It's unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same.
♥Here's to the men that we love, here's to the men that love us. But the men that we love will never love us so fuck all that, here's to us.
♥Tell me what you don't like about yourself?
♥I don't believe in guilt, I believe in living on impulse as long as you never intentionally hurt another person, and don't judge people in your life. I think you should live completely free
♥I like everything. Boyish girls, girlish boys, the heavy and the skinny. Which is a problem when I'm walking down the street.
♥There's some milk in the fridge that's about to go bad... [breathes in] and there it goes.
♥You're like E.T... Only he was a purebred alien with a heart of gold. You're only part alien, and at times can be self-absorbed.
♥Lets chow down and much on some grindage!
♥I don't eat. I'm a model.
♥Like my grandmother used to say, "There's no better dressing than meat on bones."
♥There's no TV! Have you seen a TV, Mike? I haven't seen a TV. Do you know what it means when there's no TV? - No MTV!
♥I'm serious, I felt violated. The last time I felt like this was back in the early 90s when some girl shoved her finger up my butt with no warning.
♥I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt So sexy it hurts.
♥If I think more about death than some other people, it is probably because I love life more than they do.
♥Let's just get the rules straight here. There'll be absolutely no partying in this hall between the hours of 5 and 6 in the morning, without my express written permission. OK cool. Carry on.
♥I'm going to grow up without anyone to love and die friendless and alone like Weird Al Yancovich.
♥I think I should warn you all, when a vampire bites it, it's never a pretty sight. No two bloodsuckers go the same way. Some yell and scream, some go quietly, some explode, some implode, but all will try to take you with them.
♥That was my skull! I'm so wasted!
♥When other little girls wanted to be ballet dancers I kind of wanted to be a vampire.
♥I'm going to kill you and drink your fucking blood!
♥You mean with that ungrateful daughter, our dumbass son, and that drunk foreign kid
♥Litre is French for give me my fuckin' cola before I break VOUS FUCKIN' LIP.
♥Without pain, there would be no suffering, without suffering we would never learn from over mistakes. To make it right, pain and suffering is the key to all windows, without it, there is no way of life.
♥Life is tough, and if you have the ability to laugh at it you have the ability to enjoy it.
♥The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
♥I never picked up an illegal alien from Home Depot to take me home and choke me while I touch myself.
♥I am not a feminist, Hank. I am Peggy Hill, a citizen of the Republic of Texas. I work hard, I sweat hard and I love hard, I gotta smell good and look pretty while I'm doing it. So I comb my hair, I reapply lipstick thirty times a day, I do your dishes, I wash your clothes, and I clean the house. Not because I have to, Hank, but because of a mutual, unspoken agreement that I have never brought up because I am too much of a lady.
♥Want me to punch-a-size your face, for free?
♥Hey, Bud, let's party!
♥I could learn photography. That could be something to want. I could photograph children. I could have my own children. I would give them yellow roses. And if they got too loud, I would just put them some place quiet. Put them in the oven. And I would kiss them every day, and tell them you don't have to be anybody, because I would know that being somebody doesn't make you anybody anyway.
♥The Packers are like the Jedi. You're wearing a 'Go Darth Vader' jersey.
♥Sex was really easy. There was sex everywhere. It didn't really mean too much. Love, love was the hard thing to find. Even if you were looking for it, which not too many people were. And even if you found it, which not too many people did, even if it was right there in front of you. No; how could you see it with all the sex in the way?
♥That's our driver Alf. He's from Afghanistan. He once ate a cat. We can't understand how to pronounce his fucking name so we just call him the cat eating alien.
♥Oh, God, what else is there? I never gave a reach around to a spider monkey while reciting the pledge of allegiance.
♥If someone would bring me my coffee every morning before I dressed, I would be very happy. It would change the day.
♥So what's the rush? You're chasing that girl aren't you? Come on, admit it. I'm at the mercy of your sex glands, bud.
♥At parties like this Fez, you collect the leftovers of all the unfinished drinks, and combine them to form on giant, uber-drink. In this case,a Tom Wallbanger Bloody Sunrise on the Beach.
♥Boy, the next word that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant fuckin' Mark Twain shit. 'Cause it's definitely getting chiseled on your tombstone.
♥Second shelf is mine. That's where I keep my rootbeers and my double-thick Oreo cookies. Nobody touches the second shelf but me.
♥Do I look like a cat to you boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?
♥If you're not over here in fifteen minutes, you can find a new best friend.
♥My dad spanked me from when I was 9-years-old up to when I was 16 and I turned out just fine... That bastard.
♥Just cleaning out the old locker, she stinks like ass but I'll sure miss her... I guess you could say that about all my girls.
♥When I was a little girl my father told me that if you weren't careful you could lose everything you've ever earned in life in a split second. You have to know when to cash out.
♥And you can tell Rolling Stone magazine that my last words were... I'm on drugs!
♥ That night, my coin was tossed. Heads, you live. Tails, you die. 50/50 chance. Life or death. This ain't Sunset Boulevard. My destiny was life. Life as a bounty hunter.
♥My mother was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was also the most dangerous.
♥I love to do the things the censors won't pass.
♥It's better for the whole world to know you, even as a sex star, than never to be known at all.
♥Razors pain you, rivers are damp, acid stains you, drugs cause cramps, gun aren't lawful, nooses give, gas smells awful, you might as well live.
♥Evil is a point of view. God kills indiscriminately and so shall we. For no creatures under God are as we are, none so like him as ourselves.
♥A life is like a book. A book is like a box. A box has six sides. Inside and outside, so, how do you get to what's inside? How do you get what's inside, out? Once upon a time, there lived a very pretty girl, who lived in a beautiful box, and everybody loved her.
♥Sweet? Where do you get off? Where do you get sweet? I am dark and mysterious, and I am PISSED OFF! I could be very dangerous to all of you! And you should know that about me... I am THE ENEMY!
♥Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid. Goethe said that. It's not too late for you to become a person of substance.
♥Now, if 2 Live Crew has taught us anything, it's that horniness in today's society is out of control. And at one point within the next decade, mark my words, ladies and gentlemen, society will have reached something I call APATT..."All porno, all the time." Pornography will have become an epidemic in this country. Phase one... masturbation.
