EPo - ProfilesArchive

About Me

1. Ever used a Ouija board? Yes and it told me tonight to do a survey for myspace.
2. Are you spoiled? No, but I am taking applications.
3. Had sex in your parent's bed? Are you kidding me? I can't even get sex in my own bed!
4. Are you self conscious about your weight at all? Nope, I wont worry about it until the day I look down and no longer see my pecker.
5. Next time you will kiss someone? When I win the lottery
6. Do you get along with girls? Yes, once they get tired and quit running.
7. How do you feel about your hair right now? I hope it's doing well where ever the hell it went.
8. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up? I need to pee....and STAT
9. Is there anyone who doesn't like you? More than likely....F em!
10. Would you rather die or screw a monkey? How hot is the monkey? ......Who am I kidding? I'd be getting some...Show me the monkey!!
11.What was going through your mind during your last kiss? Thank God I'm not wearing sweat pants!
12. Name one thing people think about you that's not true? I belong in the special olympics. Not so, I'd lose.
13 What was the last advice you gave someone? If you're gonna be a bear, be a grizzly bear.
14. Why did your last relationship end? She couldn't swim with cement shoes. Who knew?
15. How did you meet the last person you kissed? I met her at a school for the blind...Nice girl.
16. Have you ever modeled for anything? Quite often actually. I'm always the before guy.
17. Do you have a tan? Hah, are you kidding. If I'm naked, my ass can be used as a f'ing nightlight.
18. Are looks important? That depends. If a plumber shows up to my house to fix the toilet, I really don't give a rat's ass if he's hot or not. Now if it's a girlfriend, I'm not signing up for a troll, but looks only go so far. They have to have a personality to match.
19. Where do you keep your money? I keep it in a metal tin and I bury it at the bottom of Rambo's litter box. Nobody will ever find it there. Shit, now that I told you, I'm gonna have to move it...Damn.
20. Which is more romantic: sunrise or sunset? Depends, do I have a date? Solo I'd say they both rather blow. Now if I have a date, sunset rocks. Sunrise means the bitch woke me up and that's not romantic with morning breath and bed head.
21. What would you do if you saw a person fall down a flight of stairs? Seeing as how I'm in health care, I'd give them my business card and tell them all about our canes and wheelchairs.
22. Who was the last person to make you laugh? Nobody, I'm the funny guy. I make the jokes dammit!
23. What's the next thing you will do? Type this f'ing answer.
24.Would you ever date someone 10 years older than you? Not now. At that age she'd put her teeth in a glass on the night stand. No gumjob jokes please
25. What would you do if you got stuck in an elevator? I'd hope to God I peed before I got on.
26. Do you ever intentionally vomit? Why? I'm not trying to be a skinny model.
27. Would you rather have an apple or an orange? Thrown at me? Neither, but if I'm eating I'll go for either.
28. Do you enjoy watching other people trip? Who doesn't? As long as it's not me, it's damned funny.
29. Who can't you stand? Name anyone on the NY Yankees roster.
30. Do spiders scare you? Only if they are bigger than my head.
31. Halloween or Christmas? Halloween, it's cheaper than Christmas, it's warmer, and the movies are a hell of a lot better.
32. Are you taller than your mom? Hell yeah or my mom would be in the WNBA
33. What color is your shower curtain? What color is mildew? JK, it's black
34. What is the closest thing to you right now that is red? I have this horrible rash on my nads.....JK...they are blue. hmmm, I have no answer for this one.
35. What is your favorite video game? I love these questions that turn me into lady repellent!...I blame my little brother and say Guitar Hero.
36. Is there an animal that creeps you out? rabbits because they have sex faster than I do!
37. What's something you want to do before you die? Empty my bladder and my colon. I don't want to be one of those folks that when I go I shit and piss myself silly for someone else to clean up...Thoughtful bastard aren't I?
38. Have you ever caught something on fire? I once got nuclear wing sauce in my ex wife's crotch once (long story)...That might count.
39. Have you ever seen northern lights? I'm from Massachusetts, of course. Do you think we sit in the f'ing dark?!?!
40. Do you know how to use chop sticks? My name is not EPosan Wong so no.
41. Are you worried about something you can't control? Nope, that would be a waste of my time. I prefer to worry about stuff I can make more of a mess of.
42. Do you take daily medications? Not yet.
43. Are you wearing nail polish? Yes it's pink with little stickers.....Not. I'm a straight dude dammit!!!
44. What time is it? Do I look like Big Ben to you? Buy a f'ing watch.
45. Innie or Outie? Who the hell has an outie? Circus freaks maybe but not me.
46. Favorite eye color of the opposite sex? Doesn't matter....just no wall eyes! I hate when one eye is on me and the other is wandering around the room....that shit freaks me out.
47. Time of day you were born? I flew out of my mom's crotch at 7:05 pm.
48. Do you know your blood type? Red dumbass...duh
49. Kisses or hugs? depends...If its my grandmother I'll go with hugs....I hate it when she slips me the tongue, that shit freaks me out too.
50. Do you have a pool? No but I do have 2 toilets.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Hmm, shortlist. Naked chics...JK. I'd like to meet Nikki Sixx, Michael Madsen, Mickey Rourke, Jeff Bagwell,and Jonathan Papelbon.

My Blog

No, I'm Not Dead!

Hello all. Sorry for falling off the planet but I've been in mourning ever since Michael Jackson kicked the bucket. Just kidding of course. And personally, I don't think he's dead. He's got so many pl...
Posted by on Mon, 19 Oct 2009 16:11:00 GMT

Date tale from the romance department

Hello all, I hope everyone is having a good week and still employed. Me? I'm saving up soon to get a tin cup, a cardboard sign, a little dancing monkey, and then scope out a premo corner to occupy! At...
Posted by on Tue, 31 Mar 2009 14:43:00 GMT

Sex Change or Peeing Ninja

Hello All, I'm grasping at straws today but since it's been forever and a day since I've posted a blog and I felt I owed my 2 loyal readers something. I had 3 readers but since it's been so damned lon...
Posted by on Wed, 25 Feb 2009 16:06:00 GMT

Trip to Massachussetts. Director's Cut with photos!!!

Hello Kids, long time no see. I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and that 2009 is looking like a kickass year for everyone. You'll be glad to know that in the new year I've finally figured out how ...
Posted by on Sun, 18 Jan 2009 12:14:00 GMT

My Trip to the Great White North

Hello All, I hope everyone is doing well. Me, ehh, at the moment I have a shitty chest/head cold. Not a bonus but such is life. Now the reason for today's blog, about a week and a half ago my mother c...
Posted by on Thu, 30 Oct 2008 00:07:00 GMT

Birthdays and Cryin Babies

Hello all, long time no see. First, thanks to all of you that sent me the nice birthday wishes. Also, thanks to all of you who didn't because at my age, I really don't want to think about getting any ...
Posted by on Wed, 10 Sep 2008 22:30:00 GMT

Part 3..Nell Carter, Vulvar Cream and the Clink

Ok Peeps, time to finish up my tale of my cleaning up the mean streets with Officer Callahan. Now where the hell where we? Oh yeah, the f'ing cowboy on a 10 speed. Callahan and I hop back ...
Posted by on Fri, 04 Jul 2008 09:36:00 GMT

Agent X is unleashed

Hello again f'ers. Ready for part 2? Of course you are or your sorry ass wouldn't have gotten this far. Now let's get the show going. Well after Callahan gave me the badge and gave me the title of Ag...
Posted by on Thu, 03 Jul 2008 09:59:00 GMT

Laying Down the Law....Again

Hello Kids, long time no see. How the hell are you? Good I hope, now let's get down to my latest cop tale. Since not much of jack shit has been going on for me to blog about, I decided to spend a nigh...
Posted by on Wed, 02 Jul 2008 15:48:00 GMT

Rambo 2....My much needed vacation

Hello people, it's me Ethan's cat Rambo again. Sure it's been f'ing years since I've decided to throw my paws against a keyboard but I've got something to type about. Being a prisoner in this damned ...
Posted by on Tue, 06 May 2008 18:02:00 GMT