Draith Vicious

I used to be into some drugs such as shrooms, Coke, and DXM but there is a point in a persons life where they have to decide whats more important the drugs or your freinds and well I chose my freinds now I'm not gonna lie I still might do them once in a great great while but never as often as I did previously. I don't smoke cigarettes because they giveyou lung cancer... and they don't really give me any sort of buzzbut I do drink when I'm with the right crowd of people. I usedto be straight edge until the only girl I ever truly loved leftme around the time I turned 18 and supposobly it was not my faultat all... Well I finally came to realize that it was my fault.Yes thats right despite what I told a shit load of people it waspretty much was all my fault. Which made twice I'd thought aboutkilling myself. Once around the time she broke up with me andonce after I realized how it was my fault but I'm not going intodetails any more about that situation unless someone actuallyasks me to. After she broke up with me I pretty much lost it fora couple months. I thought about suicide alot but decided it wasnot worth it and that there were still too many things I had notdone yet so I tried to find ways to release my stress,depression, and anger... yea I had all three. I tried to find newthings in life to make me happy. I had gotten so used to beingwith someone it drove me crazy feeling like I was alone andfeeling like she could never be replaced. First I tried writinglyrics/poetry some of which is posted on my myspace you can tellme how that went yourself just by reading it. Got into the wholeemo cutting myself thing for like a week or two then decided itwas really fucking stupid cause I was just having fun drawing onmyself... Like I said I'm pretty weird. So then after that Ilooked to the one thing I had stayed away from all of my life andnever even thought once about trying. Can anyone take a guess?...DRUGS!I have noticed that there are ALOT of people that smokeweed some of who I would never have thought would do such athing. I just think it's pretty wild how many people do andsupport something thats illegal and now I'm one of them. Startingout it was all such a new experience to me I got a little carriedaway with it. I stopped doing alot of the things that I reallyliked in life. I stopped doing the very first things I found thatmade me happy like playing video games and such because I hadconvinced myself that it all of those types of things were stupidand pointless and that none of those types of things reallymatter. I stopped hanging out with alot of people during thattime too not because I didn't want to hang out with them butbecause it seemed like alot of them didn't wanna hang out with meanymore. During that time some friends turned their backs on meand some others were there for me more than ever. I guess it'strue what they say. "Friends are around when the times are goodbut true friends are around even when times are bad" To me it'snot a big deal though I have never been one for holding grudgesnor have I ever been one to hate people. So the drugs are here tostay for now and as terrible as it was to say they gave mesomething to live for. It's very very quite literally mindblowing how they can change your perspective on life and yourwhole life in general which is why I would never encouragesomeone to try them.
Everything is really differnt now and I'll probably never look at life the same again. I had a huge delima with myself for awhile about what makes me happy and wondering about why we are all here?, How we got here?, and what am I here for? I have come to realize that pretty much anything is possible even the Matrix... Seriously ok I know it's not the best example and it's a pretty rediculous to think that the real world could be just like the Matrix and yea I'm talking about the movie but in fact it's very much possible and because anything is possible I belive that the only thing that really matters in this world are people because without people nothing else would matter. Material possesions would become useless. Yea the normal everyday stupid shit that people get killed over like wepons, money, drugs, ect. None of that shit would matter if no one was alive I mean come on people open your fucking eyes here. Regardless of what is real and what is the truth one thing that we can all be sure of is that we need one and other. Imagine if you were the last person alive, would anything like money or fancy cars matter? Not saying that we should try to do away with all of those things but don't let them matter so much to you that you think thats what life is about and that it would be worth it to kill someone over anything material. Material possesions make me just as happy as the next guy but what really makes me happy is my friends and family and people who care about me.
Now I have gotten back into my normal routine of D&D andvideo gamess but I like alot of things now that I didn't think Iwould ever like or be interested in. I pay attention to lyricsnow in music when I never used to at all and I really want to goand travel more now. I am really addicted to guitar hero andPlaying it on expert makes me want to buy a real guitar just tosee if I'd be any good. I have always wanted to do something withmusic as a career. I'm just hoping one day I get off my lazy asand actually do it. I'm not very good at modivating myself...like at all which is alot of the reason I hate being alonebecause I don't really do a whole lot when ever I am by myself.
I am already finished with school. I have my licence and a car. Idid drive a White Ford Tourus, nothing really special, with thelicence plate "Draith" As far as freinds I will be your freind ifyou are cool and if you are nice. Simple as that. I don't' careif you are a goth, wigger, emo, scene kid, weed smoker, beerdrinker, or whatever the hell you or other people consideryourself to be. I like meeting new people but sometimes I feellike I have too many friends or maybe I just don't have enoughtime to spend with all of them. My parents are really cool. Theylet me pretty much do whatever just as long as I stay out oftrouble and keep my bills paid which I do. I still wanna moveinto a place of my own cause I wanna be able to smoke in my houseand have mad gamming and drug parties on occasion. I love therain and thunderstorms oh and I especially love the snow and iceand I really like the color purple and neon green. I am usuallyup for trying new trying new things. I am always up for going toconcerts as long as the bands are gonna be good but sometimes Igo just to hang out with people. I mainly just eat junk food andfast food but I have started trying to eat healthy some of thetime and I really enjoy trying new food now unlike how I used tonever try new food. I am obsessed with music. It is one of thethings I live for. I listen to tons of music including FolkMetal, Industrial, Christian Metal, Space Metal, Black Metal,Vampyric Metal, ect.. ranging to Some Screemo, Emo, Punk, Techno,Trance, psychadellic, Rock, Hard Rock, and Electronica.
As far as my life and personal well being goes it's ratherunusual as you see I have almost everything I want when it comesto material possesions and no I am not some spoiled rich kid Iworked for everything I own. Maybe not the same way most peoplework for things becuase I used to steal... alot but I don'tanymore I have pretty much quit except for small stuff here andthere. Anyway even though I have almost eveyrthing I want I haveno one to share it with ok well sure I have my guy freinds butthey don't count I mean some one to share it with, someone toshare life with, someone to share love with. Wow I get off topicalot so anyway back to the topic of drugs. Now I have found thatthere is a time and a place for drugs and well... your friendsempty house with walls made of dry wall and your other friendshouse full of people trying to play D&D are two that are not goodplaces for drugs. Now I only do them in my spare time and onlyaround people that I know are ok with it. Oh yea and one otherthing just to let people know in advance im pretty bad withremembering names so it's nothing personal.
- - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - -
- - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - - = - -
..