23919001 - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Age is just a daft number, bullshit is easy to smell, all you need is Ramones and soft leather DMs and the world can be yours if you want it, bubba bear...fans of deeply personal info might like to know that i spectacularly fucked up my life between the ages of 19-33, first as a speed freak, then as a white cider merchant...woke up one day in 1999, realised that it was no way for the most talented writer of my generation to be carrying on and knocked it on the head forever - helpless addiction wasn't all bad, like, but it does tend to narrow one's horizons somewhat...Me and mrs the claw of TRUTH run the Cluny Kitchen in the Cluny venue in Newcastle. We've had the franchise for four and a bit years now and it's a pretty cool way to make a living, even if it does twist my head sometimes. The NME and the Observer have both rated our food...which was nice... I spent three weeks in 2006 as Shitdisco's tour manager on their first UK tour, despite being unable to drive, read a map, tune a guitar or be willing to procure dangerous narcotics. I did grow a ridiculous mouser that made me look like one of the Chuckle Brothers, though, so it wasn't all bad...About three years ago i blagged an excellent part-time gig as a travel writer for the Sunday Sun in the toon and can often be found titting about pretending to be Bill Bryson in places like Majorca, Ibiza,Milan and a nature reserve in Norfolk... I now also write the weekly music page for said paper and recently got to meet Sir Cliff Richard, who was a bit of an arse, frankly...

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

new friends, old friends and friends that i thought were dead would be cool, i reckon. birds with big tits who go mental on brandy and poppers would be good as well, but i'm not holding my breath for that one.

My Blog

Born Sloppy - my auto-blog-raphy online

currently writing my autobiog online, I'm up to around age nine now. You can find it at www.clawoftruth.blogspot.com. The Crack were nice enough to say this about it. Great Scott We've ploughed throu...
Posted by on Sun, 12 Aug 2007 05:13:00 GMT

Shitdisco - one year on, soaraway Sunday Sun.

It's been just over a year since my brief, alternative career as a tour manager came to an end. I jumped ship from Shitdisco's inaugural UK jaunt after spending three long weeks in the back of an unh...
Posted by on Thu, 22 Mar 2007 05:45:00 GMT

spot-on quote of the day

" I haven't found a drug yet that can get you anywhere near as high as sitting at a desk writing" Hunter S. Thompson, 1989.
Posted by on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 04:24:00 GMT

SHITDISCO KINGDOM OF FEAR ALBUM REVIEW

SHITDISCO - KINGDOM OF FEAR (FIERCE PANDA)(In which your hugely biased reviewer waxes lyrical about the sublime debut album from Glasgow's leading party hearty mad bastard squad of piratical disco-pun...
Posted by on Sat, 24 Feb 2007 17:26:00 GMT

Klaxons for NARC magazine

I wish I'd left the tape running a while for this one. That way, I'd have been able to tell you the strange tale about a mate of Simon from Klaxons who "took a load of E one night, then bummed a blok...
Posted by on Thu, 22 Feb 2007 15:20:00 GMT

go see the Horrors, insult the badly-dressed audience...

Many, many things boil my piss, but people who go to gigs done up as some sort of fancy dress tribute to the band would have to be near the top of the list. Look, lasses (and it is nearly always las...
Posted by on Wed, 21 Feb 2007 13:14:00 GMT

guessmen are mint why aye

I definitely went a bit mental when I was tour-managing Shitdisco last year. It wasn't the seven-in-one-room sleeping arrangements or the shitty, freezing carpet-cleaner's van we were travelling in th...
Posted by on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 04:56:00 GMT

60s idol in florist frenzy

PJ Proby ruined my day, the bastard. phoned him at 3.30 for my booked interview, his tour manager said they were out shopping and could i ring back in an hour? so i ring back, only to be told that ...
Posted by on Wed, 19 Apr 2006 17:42:00 GMT

this week's pop bollocks

the american fella from dirty pretty things and tomorrow some geezer from Orson and the kecks-splitting legend that is PJ Proby.variety, it's the shite of life.edit: oh, and Joe from Shitdisco a...
Posted by on Tue, 18 Apr 2006 16:03:00 GMT

just another media whore Sunday...

jesus, one day the wind will change and I'll write shite like this forever. If you ever find yourself tiring of bland bands full of bland blokes playing the same tired chords and predic...
Posted by on Sun, 16 Apr 2006 15:28:00 GMT