Please, don't try to critique my life, cause you'll see, its quite mystique when seen through the light. Or maybe just to me, the eyes of the beholder. But, what do I hold? Is it silver and gold? Or is it realer than soul? Who knows? Maybe I'm only as deep as a puddle. Is it how you see me, that makes me? Well, I'd like to rebuttal. But we can go back and forth, until theres nothin but rubble. If you ask me, I'm as solid as metal. But still in the production faze. So we'll see when the dust settles. Didn't catch that? I'm under the impression I'm complete. But like a room without a roof, my purpose remains obsolete. There's still work to be done. But will it ever finish? Will I ever figure how to configure the difference between the right time for pleasure and business? Cause I'm focused on bull shittin and rhythm spittin. So fuck the sea and all its fishes. I aint got time to get caught up with these women. I'm tied to the future misses, so I'm dippin out on these simple bitches. From 5pm all the way to 7 in the a.m., you can most likely find me ridin in the Chrysler 3m. But from 7 to five, I push forks at the plant. Bitin my tongue just to provide. Is there pride in this man? Tired of the little fish bein chewed up by the greedy. Feel like takin these bitches to dessert storm, should I pull out the D.E.? Relax, I just need to breath on track, like bouncin back from an asthma attack. But now I'm cool. But now I feel like a fool for not makin time to finish school. But life goes on. Guess I shoulda followed the rules. Cause where I stand now is like I got cement shoes, and abandoned in a pool. My fuckin job is gay. The economy is a shame. My index fingers itchin like crazy, ready to point at someone to blame. Which is why I avoid anything that reflects, cause when I point at myself, assume the mirror came with defects. So this front, I'll confront. And when its done I'll stand proudly. So ask whatever you want, but I'm just now learnin about me. Welcome to my journey...
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What It Do? - The Survey
Name: Austin "BAMF" Mertens
Day The World Was Blessed: Feb. 15, 1986
Birthplace: D-Town, Ohio
Current Location: STDville, Ohio
Eye Color: Poopy-Brown
Hair Color: Poopy-Black
Height: 6'3"ish
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: A Question That Has Plagued Man For Decades
Your Girlfriend's Name: Autumn
Your Weakness: You Know Where The Head & Shaft Meet? Right There!
Your Fears: The Burger King Man
Your Perfect Pizza: Bologna & Bleu Cheese
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Come Up With A Goal For Next Year
Your Most Prized Possesion: My X-Box 360
Thoughts First Waking Up: "I Gotta Rub This Morning-Wood Out"
Your Best Physical Feature: Standing Next To My Girlfriend
Your Bedtime: Describe This "Bedtime"...
Your Most Missed Memory: I Can't Remember
Vaginal or Anal?: It Depends On The Mood
Girlfriend's Nickname?: BooBooKittyFuck
Single or Group Dates: Group, If We Have Group-Sex At The End
Lipton Ass or Titties?: Love That Ass! Man, I Love That Ass!
Chocolate or Vanilla: Blue Berry Soft Serve From Kings Island, Of Course, With Sprinkles
White or Black Chicks?: Whatever Autumn is
Do you Smoke: Yeah
Do you Swear: Fuck Yeah!!!
Do you Sing: Of Course!
Do you Shower Daily: Every Mondaily.
Have you Been in Love: Thanks To My Autumn
Do you want to go to College: Yeah, But "For What?" Is The Question
Do you want to get Married: Of Course!
Do you belive in yourself: Yeah
Are You Gay?: I'm So Deep In The Closet, That I'm Finding Christmas Presents
Do you think you are Attractive: I'd Fuck Me
Your Best Pick-Up Line: If I Flip A Coin, What Are My Chances OF Gettin Head?
Do you get along with your Parents: Yes
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes!!! They Set The Mood.
Do you play an Instrument: Negative
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: No! Blecuz dreenking iz foir Drunk peepl! Man, I yam slo fuxin wassid!
In the past month have you Smoked: Yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Negative
Do You Like To Take Your Girlfiend On Dates?: When I Can
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: No
In the past month have you gone down on someone?: Yes
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Pants-sushi, Ya Mean?!?!?!
In the past month have you been on Stage: This Is The Gayest Question Ever!
I Heard You Got The Magic Stick, Is That True?: I Don't Like To Brag, But Yes!
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Do You Have To Be Skinny To Do That?
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No
Ever been Drunk: Yeah...
Ever been called a Tease: No
Ever been Beaten up: Bitch, please!!!
Ever Shoplifted: Yes
How do you want to Die: Holding My Wife & Kids Hands
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A Grown Up
What country would you most like to Visit: France
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Green
Favourite Hair Color: Blondeish
Short or Long Hair: Long
Height: 5'6"
Weight: ?
Best Clothing Style: She Looks Good In Anything!!!
Number of Drugs I have taken: ?
Number of CDs I own: ?
Number of Piercings: ?
Number of Tattoos: ?
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Regreting The Past
Will She Gag?! - or - That Shit! Nigga!
Superman
100%
The Roman
100%
The Pirate
100%
Space Docking
100%
Reach In
100%
Aligator Fuck House
100%
Cincinnati Bowtie
100%
Banana Split
100%
Pseudicorn
100%
Lumpkin
80%
Titties
80%
You go crazy and start shootin people for nothin,
and you love to help others.
ghettogaggers.com
Your results:
You areCapt. Majic Stik
Capt. Majic Stik
76%
Sir Gag A Hoe
79%
Dr. D'z Nutz
76%
Mr. I'll Hit A Bitch
74%
The Gagger
74%
Hell Yeah I Suck Toes
71%
Mr. Fister
65%
King Cock Of The Block
64%
Mr. Hit It Raw
58%
CumOnHer-Face
54%
The Jizzler
50%
Cum Myst
50%
Dark Dick
48%
Gang-Green Gooch
46%
Capt. HIV(+)
46%
Poison Cum
36%
What Can I Say? You're Pretty Well Hung, You've Got A Mean Left Stroke, And You Go Down! Ask Anyone, And They'll Tell You That You're A True Gentleman For That.
