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handBanana

About Me

It appears that as time rolls on i find myself becoming more and more neurotic. it may be the decreased caffeine intake, which i should really work on, or it may be the people around me and their unceasing ability to amaze me in one sense of the word or another. this came about whilst catching up on the newest episode of Bullshit Mountain, or for short the teenage gossip ring, and all the mindlessness within.
It seems people are so far deep in each other's fake lives that it's rediculous to even call them that. Everythings sort of a web of lies, cheating, and more often than not, the occasional STD. People go around talking a mile a minute about the latest clothes they bought or who the latest one night stand was and how far he could cram his extension into her primary intelligence region. it's mind-bottling.
Speaking of intelligence, these same people -and I hate to be polite here- are the same people who don't know a hole in the ground from the hole in their ass, seeing how they are similar in the amount of filth and living matter in each of them. Most of these people are the same type that are given the keys to daddy's car, or by this time, daddy has bought them a car of their own -I hope that Scion explodes with you in it.- =That doesn't sanction to everyone, i do know some rather polite people who drive (and deserve) their Scions.= People may read this and go 'You're just mad because you don't have the fun that they -or we, and if it is "we", FUCK YOU, you bint- have.' Maybe. But I do appreciate waking up on Sunday without a migraine, hangover, limp from last night or a stunning realization that 'Blimey, my knickers are missing!' only to find them crammed up your own ass.
The major clothing companies and the media lifestream that is MTV and the other bullshiteries of modern culture do nothing but promote and condone this lewd, promiscuous lifestyle. and if thats not bad enough and soon as someone raised a hand to that bastard child, they went and GLAMOURIZED it. It's now GOOD and ACCEPTABLE, nay, EXPECTED, that women and girls over fourteen put out and guys of the same age have the primary function of passing out sex like it's bourbon chicken in front of Asian Chao. -On a side note, I love the asian people, their dining establishments and the chicken prepared there-in, which is not to imply that i like sex, nay I'm still a virgin. YES, A VIRGIN, because i'm proving to myself that im not like most of the slags that wander this earth and i dont have to prove anything to you. If you find a problem with this then FUCK OFF and go home.- Back to the whores and their apprentices- excuse me, boyfriends. Most girls today have the intelligence quota of an empty can of diet soda and about as much depth.
Another thing I'd like to get around to is the lies. Enough with the lies, you sad examples of human beings. It's recently hit me like the bus in Speed (and with the rage of the main actor of that movie when told he's a gay scientologist) that ninety percent of people around here -and one in particular, i hope you know who you are, you conniving BITCH and so called "Christian." Ladies and Gentlejerks, on another side note, I would like to say that the person in question here, who shall remain unnamed because if you know her then you know her name and know my stand on this person and how i would truly like to, in fact, STAND ON THIS PERSON, because if the rest of us don't lie enough, this woman has made up enough lies and stories to send most of us and half of China to the Ninth Circle of Hell, where Satan could blare High School Musical for eternity and place and mosquito in one ear and an air horn in the other while wailing on our asses with steak tenderizers- have their entire premise of life teetering on a precipice of finely woven tales and fables. Most are small, 'No, we didn't go out.' 'No I didn't do that,' But then the more severe "I used to do this" or "i lived here" or "i'm -insert something that they say that are but are clearly not, for example, a grilled cheese sandwich.-" to "He's a prick, he did this, she said that, he did she did" It's enough to turn Hillary Clinton intelligent.
many girls today seem to bear an incredible resemblance to garage doors, as is seems they open to anyone anytime at the drop of a hat, or a five dollar bill. but i'll move on from girls since im sure someone somewhere is telling their soccer mom that some prick on myspace, the Hallowed Place for Friends, is degrading women and they will call PeTA on me for animal cruelty for beating the bitches so hard. or worse, the ACLU.
So on to another thing that has my bra in a bundle- the bane to all of us,
The Emo Specimen.
The Emo Specimen (Homo Sapiends-his-life) is a fairly simple creature. It lives in the dark, and will find shade in the sunlight, under trees, roots, grass, or other Emo specimens if plentiful enough. The Emo must remain shielded from the sun's harmful rays, for they may tan and become what they fear most- a being having likenesses beyond that of an androgenous hooker. It's hard to discern a male and female specimen, as most all of them have the following features:
Hair in front of facial features, to block any identity that they both scream and cut for and do the same to stay away from it.
A flat chest with no muscle definition and no desire to have such features.
No outer genitals. While expected in the female class, the male class has tight lower garments as to render sex distinction impossible. These tight pants, many hypothesize, help the male Emo become more like the famale version, and so less likely to be beaten.
One of the most commonly provoked ideas is that the emo does not consume food like other creatures, indeed it's never seen eating. It's assumed that they run off of vampire chat-rooms, myspace -irony-, and their lifeblood: Evanescence, Nightmare Before Christmas references, and Simple Plan.
To wrap this overly elaborate breakdown quickly, emo kids -the really sad, pathetic ones. you know the kind- suck.
I really don't have any clue why they are so wallowy and pissed off. What do they have to be pissed off about? They're white, middle-to-high class Americans living in suburbia with no crime and are given anything they want. Why they choose to be whiney little bastards is beyond me. 'My mom took my cell phone for texting too much. MY LIFE SUCKS.' These people really should KILL THEMSELVES. I think their parents should give them their own car. Hear me out, im going somewhere with this. Let them go. That's all. They'll all die sooner or later, they cant see past their hair. My only concern is that the coroner will have a hard time identifying the latest male/female to die.
I could go on about the problems of todays society. So I will. But now i aim the crosshairs on Hollister. because Hollister is EVIL. I say this out of spite, yes. BUT, I have evidence to prove all of this. Most of the "people" that wear Hollister are the people i attacked earlier in this rant. they smoke, drink, f*ck, and put others down who don't wear the Almighty H. anyways.
TXTNG. OR W/E U CALL IT. LOL. Stop it. Stop texting people on your cell phones. It's dumb, it's the dumbest thing since reality television. Honestly, people take five minutes hitting numbers on little telephone pads what could take them twenty seconds to say on the phone. But I suppose throwing a really obvious 'ell oh ell' out whilst sililoquizing would throw even the dumbest bitch off guard. Maybe. And shame on the cell phone companies that make money off of people's stupidity. Who is the person who said "HEY!... I KNOW! Since that instant messenger is so popular, let's do it on phones!"
"Yeah, but, Bill, people aren't going to sit there and push little pads when they can just call them."
"Oh yes they will!"
"Well, what if they can't?"
This is where some ASS from Virgin Mobile stands up. -You bastards- "Let's give them a full keyboard.. and a screen to check their myspace on and see who they're going to go get wasted with!"
And lo, the idea flew. I hope you're proud of yourselves, you corporate bastards. And anyone who texts- whoops, txts in public, you look like idiots. You walk around holding your phones, first off, with your mouth open and your eyes glazed like it's got a needle on the back of the phone constantly giving you morphine, and then you put it away. It's done, over with, enough of that- WHOA! I GOT A TEXT MESSAGE! -flip- ...... huhhuhuhuh. -beep. beep boop beep beep beep beep boop boop boop... beep beep -this part takes a while, fast forwarding.- bleep! *click* phone closed.
ZZZZZZZZZZZ! -flip- ..... .huhuhuhuh.
Repeat.
One last thing before this morning is through. These.... bratz dolls or action hookers or whatever they are. Why don't they just call them Whorz. It's less misleading. They're selling these little slutty plastic things and telling girls.... and little confused boys..... to be a bitch and to FUCK what people think and do what you want. FUCK your parentals, do what you want, cuz your a BRATZ kind of girl... or confused boy... and you're proud to be a lil' bitch. I think thats what they do now, lil'? is that right? Yep... it's gotten too hard to say the 'tt' now. Amazing.
AND ONE MORE THING. Video games these days.... they're great. I love Portal.
You know what really grinds my gears?
Soccer moms.
And I mean the hardcore soccer moms. The kind that have a cooler full of Tang and some rice crispy treats at their little shit's soccer games or whatever sport they hazed them into. I was on my way to school today, just chilling, being plain ol' innocent james, when some dumb bitch, in a twenty mph school zone -or 32 kph for my friend on the other side of the earth- was going the normal forty five -72 kph. you know who you are.- Now, not only did the crossing guards do NOTHING to this inconsiderate bimbo, other than stop her to let kids cross, they practically hurried her along. This bitch was in such a hurry -I was assuming she's sweating and having a hernia to get little Timmy to school so he can be a doctor and make up for her failed marriage- she was like, humping the road with her Volvo SUV that her husband(s?) paid for. Finally she goes, ripping out of there and flooring it up the road going at least 55 -88 kph-. It was at this moment I realized that if any bacon were cooking nearby they would have pulled this one over. So I did what any polite, responsible teen would do-
My car caught up so fast with this bitch a Mexican stopped and went "Holy frijoles, ARRIBA!" And bolted away, leaving a spinning sombrero in their place. -Again, what i pictured happening behind me- I proceded to pull a ) maneuver, cutting her off, then going back to my lane. She slams on her brakes to protect her investment status symbol and procedes to honk, and honk some more. She finally catches up to me at the next light where I'm turning left and she's going straight. She procedes to yell at me through my window, something about being a Fun King Ash whole. Or something. So I oblige the bitch and roll down my window. "Yes?" Innocent enough, right? "YoualmostmademecrashIshouldsueyou! What's you're problem?!" I stared a moment and mentioned I wasn't the one ENDANGERING THE FUTURE by re-enacting the bus scene from SPEED in a school zone. She called me a little shit, but by that time, my lane was going, so I politely flashed her my right nipple and went on my way.
The point of that story was that it was cold out and a nipple is very unpleasant at that point. -Heh, point. Get it?- Also, I'm tired of seeing ditzy women who think they're sixteen and living out their fantasy lives as housewives or more commonly called, golddiggers. The highest intelligence you'll hear from these women is whatever is on the view, dr. phil, or THE OPRAH's latest book. Which they haven't read. Because by the looks of their driving, they still have trouble standing and breathing at the same time. -Side note, I am not shooting down housewives, we'd be nowhere without them. Just the dumbass ones who cut you off with no turn signals then stamp on their brakes like they see a bug or minority and expect you to know all this is coming. Then YOUR the asshole when you get pissy. Also, Volvo's are spectacular vehicles with great safety features and some awesome cars. But mostly safety features because we gotta be sure they're ok when that tree JUMPS INTO THE ROAD. Or whatever happens. It's a smart move on Volvo's part. Hell, their logo's the male sex symbol, so they think they're winning the non-existant war against men. Come on.-
Ahem, moving on. I hate the little girls these days. The one's aged 8-12 or 13 that ALWAYS wear those little short short shorts and tank tops. Now, before you go on, I'm not a pervert. I'm a passive observer. Now then, these little "girls" run around, screaming, yelling, and just carrying on about NOTHING like they think they're productive members of society, if they could understand the concept of either productiveness or society outside of their cell phones, hollister and MOMMY'S MONEY. -Seizures and falls to the floor, flailing in anger and disbelief while bleeding from the eyes- WHY DO MY POCKETS HURT!?!?!?!?
Sorry. Heh heh heh... -wipes the blood away- woooo......... so I see these little bitches and I can't believe that not only will they be the future of this nation, but it's this nation that made them that way in the first place. With Hannah Montana screaming 'SEE MY MOVIE AND JOIN THE MOVEMENT!' and having school and -good- social activities on the backburner, it's no wonder most children, guys or girls, are whiny little bastards. Going back, not only do the kids get what they want from the parents, they dress how they want. Little boys are fine, and I'm not sexist. But girls just dress like little sluts, and they show off their features that they... don't... have. It's horrible. My friends, we are being overrun by... -and GOD, do I love this word.- ...
Prostitots.
We're raising a society that learns that you can do what you want, feel what you want and fuck who you want. It's nothing that can't be erased with a wild night of Jack Daniel's and a few joints. So it's ok. Sleep easy knowing that what just happened, didn't just happen.
Well it's been about two weeks now since that last part you read and i feel like ive been somehow neglecting this rant, so I'll try to muster up the pissed-off-edness that keeps me going and others away from me.
I suppose I'll begin with people who talk on the phone way too damn much. No, I'll save that for later, maybe. Here's one. People who don't leave you the hell alone. You would think that the constant "I don't want to talk to you" persona would deter them, but it's amazing, these people will stand there and keep calling you and i.m.ing you and wait for your approval and they don't GIVE UP. It's like a dog that pisses on your leg, so you kick it across the room into a window and it comes back. You can't help but think the same both ways: What the hell, don't they -it- get the message? And it seems no matter how hard or how far you kick the bitch it keeps coming back. This, sadly, leads to one thing- you get tired of kicking and they will come back and finally PISS ON YOUR LEG but now you're too tired to keep kicking and you accept the fact that they'll keep coming back and it's less effort to let them piss on you than it is to push them away. Then you don't notice the smell and it goes away, but sadly, the fact remains that there is still that one person that's always there. Or the dog that keeps pissing.
It's now been about a month or two since I wiped this boil of existence called myspace out of my life, but with this newfound hatred for the earth as a whole and it's inhabitants, coupled with the very serious life events inside i feel i need an escape for all my verbal bile and myspace is already full of it so why not here.
I'll pick up with the media morons and their target demographics, i.e. the idiot next to you. Perhaps this is made more enlightened by my allure to all things metal (that is to say the music and all things therein) and rock, but God almighty, look whats out there. First and foremost, WHAT IS THIS KIDZ BOP CD. Honest to God, next time you're in your local wal-mart shopping for discounted toilet paper, swing by the music aisle and pick up a copy of kidz bop. Don't buy it, that will only prove you're a duncebucket. Just look, they're having children sing 'Party Like A Rockstar.' What the fuck is that noise. I don't think those children even know what their singing about -just like the original rappers.- The only shred of curiosity I have is if they children have to say 'bitch' or 'nigga' or 'hoe.' Usually I would cringe and have blood forced through my eyes by this, but that would actually be amusing, little teeny boppers gayly spouting "'Cause you know them hoes be trying us Hoe don't you know I fuck with fine dimonds" Come on. That'd be funny. But i suppose they'll sing anything and refuse their future dignity as long as they think they're getting paid and they matter -again, just like the original rappers-
Further attacking the media, I'm now going to move on to advertising. Advertising has such a grip on the American people that it's hard to even breathe. Even as I type this sentence, there's a banner for some...fuckin, creme or something, i dont know. But here, let me give you a run-down of how the global corporate offices see you, and the bare-bones message they send us.
New Neutrogena -wtf-ever- thing. You're not pretty enough and you know it, and you're losing happiness over it. You look in the mirror and see lines and wrinkles, but as we demonstrate on this twenty-year old model, you'll have perfect skin if you BUY THIS PRODUCT. So go out and BUY THIS PRODUCT so you can get your happiness back. Now you're happy, and everyone will like you, because you BUY THIS PRODUCT so often. Good consumer!
Now that's for women. And for women, it's especially easy to target the flaws. Women are naturally more inclined to be worried about features, weight, etc. Men, on the other hand, have a huge target painted on the zipper of their pants. Why? Because that's where advertising aims to hit us.
-Slutty woman voice- New Axe/Tag/Bod fragrance for men. You don't look like the man in this commercial. You're not ripped and probably gay. But look-he can have sex with any woman he wants, because he BUYS THIS PRODUCT. Regardless of any personality or emotions they possess, you can walk up to a woman and use them as an object, and they'll LOVE IT. And they find you sexy because you BUY THIS PRODUCT. No, it doesn't matter that you sit at home and cram doritos in your face all day, so long as you BUY THIS PRODUCT, they'll never know.
Amirite?
The advertising companies have us believe that nothing is ok and there's always something wrong with us. There's no escaping the billboard, and you will obey it. You can be the perfect man or woman you see on tv if you buy enough of our crap. Men, you can please your apparently sex-starved wife if you take these pills. Women, while you unquestionably enjoy getting railed by your suddenly horny fifty year old husband, you can think to yourself that it's because you look beautiful for all the beauty products you buy.
The worst part is it's easy. With the news companies keeping us under their feet with filtered news coverage of wars, violence, crime, and other negative happenin's, we're already insecure. So we focus on what the news does tell us, and what today's society think is the most important thing is. We could be told more pertinent or uplifting news, but the main thing is ratings. Sensationalism is the flavor of the century and everyone gets a scoop as soon as they get theirs. We're blindsided to the world around us and what really happens, and our information if brought to us by CNN. And Neutrogena.
Fifteen Marines die today in Iraq as an IED explodes next to a convoy. The police are searching for a man wanted for killing and raping ten women in his town. Meanwhile, the county passes a bill for another prison to be built for the overcrowded one we have. And now the Hollywood news- Jessica Simpson seems to have put on a calorie at the premiere of her new movie 'My Two Breasts'. Brad and Angelina adopt another fortunate baby from Africa, bringing the total to 19. THEY'RE SUCH GOOD PEOPLE, PUTTING THEIR MONEY AND WEALTH ASIDE SO THEY CAN BRING ATTENTION TO THEMSELVES BY ACTING SELFLESS. Humanitarian and lead singer of U2 Bono has retaliated to this attack by BUYING Africa, renaming it ME2, explaining "I too feel starved-starved by the lack of compassion for these kids and people. Well no more. There will now be cities and schools, and safety. HAIL BONO!"
More of the same at eleven.
I hate to say it, but society is at it's end.
I havent added to this thing in, I dunno, two months, so I suppose I should occasionally throw this abused basement dwelling child a steak here and then. I guess I'll begin my attack on Hannah Montana. She proves my 'civilization is at an end' theory, as she has successfully taken over the minds of dumbass children and their parents, which make their kids look like Harvard grads, the way they shell out money for their kid's fix. Apparently, putting on a wig and singing songs with such indepth lyrics as (and I use google for these lyrics, don't worry)
"Ow!
D d d do it now
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah
OW!
Alright
Yeah yeah yeah now that's a party
Yeah yeah
WHAT THE FUCK?! THIS IS IT?! THIS IS WHAT'S BRAINWASHING OUT KIDS??! HOLY FUCK, WE'RE STUPID! I knew it was bad, but THIS? I hope the rest isn't like this...
Cause it's a girl's night
It's alright without you yea
I'm gonna stay out
And play out without you
You better hold tight
This girl's night is without you
Let's go
G.N.O.
Let's go
G.N.O.
Let's go
G.N.O.
Let's go
It's a girl's night
Wow.
Dear God. PARENTS, your children are listening to this and your letting them. This is why they're going to grow up and hate you, and once you fight enough and they establish that you're the enemy, to further 'do what they want', maybe they'll start drinking or smoking. When I was young, Disney was cool. We had Toy Story and shit. Now it's this? Thank you Mike Eisner.
Continuing on my little tangent here, Ladies and Gentlemen, control your fucking children in public. Stop letting your so called angels run around everything from FYE to walmart screaming that they want a game or movie or cd and throwing a damn tantrum til they get it. Judging from that defeated look on your face you've been here before. You know why? Because all those hopes and dreams you had when you first married your man/woman went out the door when the little plus sign showed up. If you wanna be a good parent, then stop spoiling them and justifying their 'behavior' which you taught them. Just fuckin' slap the little bastard already! Then people respect you for taking charge and thank you for not letting your kid ruin their moment. And if some soccer mom comes up and goes off about how you shouldn't abuse children, you slap her too and say 'there, you made me hit two people dumber than me.'
Come on, you wanna.
I guess I can take one more trip into social insanity before my sad attempt at sleep. Along with the Hannah Montana movement, my friend told me the horrors of these 'Jonas Brothers.' Let's disect them. Metaphorically, for now.
Run, run like you do, I'm chasing you
I'm on your tail, I'm gaining faster, you're going nowhere
Try to fix what you've done, turn back the time
The night is gone and then we're falling faster now
You know what, I'm starting to see a pattern here. The reason why these songs suck is because they're written by people who can't physically reproduce, and if you say that some adult writes them, my reason stays the same. We have a fifteen year old girl with TREMENDOUS overbite and three what appear to be dressed up prepubescent hungover teens that Disney will try to classify as 'sexy' to a generation that doesn't know what sex is. And when they find out, they'll venture over to the intelligent rhymes and tones of such modern day composers like Kanye West and that bitch who apparently kissed a girl and liked it.
I do admit that these so called idols are a necessary evil. As much as I'd like to see them hit by a large semi, I like to let them be for now. Because, my audience, we get to go along for the ride which I like to call 'The Swirl' for the downward spiral they go on. You see what'll happen is, they'll grow tits and start going to parties and media events (yes, God willing, one of the Jonas brothers will go off and grow tits.) Anyhow, the child stars start feeling older and decide to drink and party, and soon it's on CNN that they have a DUI in their Mercedes. That, THAT ticket, is when you know it's gonna be fun. They continue partying and drinking, and start getting shots of their crotch or them hurling on some reporter published in every magazine used to act as idiot fodder for the people, until eventually they commit themselves to rehab. WELL THANK GOD, they're getting the help they need, and they're big enough to admit they- what's that? they're out? Already? Eventually the publicity gets old and the media venture over to someone ELSES crotch, and since no one wants to touch them anymore, they go and do something dramatic, like shave their head or delve into drugs. It's what I call 'The Spears Effect,' though you can basically change out Spears for, dunno,
Lohan
Love
Olsen
Farley
Downey Jr.
Hilton
So on and so forth. Hey I calls 'em as I sees 'em.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?!? FFFFFFUCK THE YOUTH THESE DAYS! They think they have it SO FUCKING HARD! The teens these days think that going to school and dealing with their friend's problems is such a FUCKING HASSLE, WELL FUCK YOU! Someone ought to stab you in the ass with an unsharpened pitchfork, you apes. They all think with false emotions and their DICKS, believing that NOTHING IS, OR EVER WILL BE, MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW IN HIGH SCHOOL. They think that their a bunch of hard bad-asses cuz they can drink beer and smoke weed and get away with it. It's not very hard to get beer, and even easier to find a place to drink it. Way to go, you've accomplished with effort what I can coordinate in my sleep. Then some of them will come home acting all depressed, and blame their current problem on someone else. -Egh- I should start wearing gloves around these people. Infectious human waste indeed.
Also, don't buy from T-Mobile. They SUCK.
Well, two months later I'm back to update the bastardized child I call myspace. I like to think this profile is a lonely child that follows me around, wearing a propeller beanie and innocently asking for a wowwipop before I spin around and slap him for being so stewpid. Where was I? Anyways, TV. It's a blessing I only use mine for the mind rotting fun of violent video games (See: Dead Space) and adult swim (tm.) Unfortunately for my wandering mind I step outside my mental haven and ask myself "I wonder what kind of intelligent television is being broadcast on other networks for my viewing pleasure." What I usually find are shows along the lines of "who wants to have sex with me," "no pants island" and "the point of no virginity." It pains me that most of these shows cater to most of the people I see, I.E. the general populace that cut me off and flip me off for going to speed limit.
SIDE NOTE: IF YOU DRIVE A WHITE TOYOTA RAV4 AND WERE TRAVELLING ON MARTIN DOWNS BLVD ON OCTOBER 18 2008 AT ABOUT TWO THIRTY P.M. AND A WHITE CAR PULLED A U-TURN IN FRONT OF YOU INTO THE LANE YOU WEREN'T IN AND YOU HONKED AT HIM, I HOPE YOUR NEXT MOVE WAS TO TAKE YOUR THUMB OUT OF YOUR ASS, THE PHONE OFF YOUR EAR AND SPIN AROUND TO SEE THAT I WAS ON THE WAY TO YOUR HOUSE TO SEX YOUR WIFE.
And steal your pets.
Twice in a week I have updated this, but I've got something else nibbling at my tremendous brain that I have to talk about. Along with tripping on flat ground and staring at the sun I've find most people, mostly teenagers and asshats -which group you fit in I'll leave to your discretion- have a fantastically well-coordinated symphony, something I like to call 'Ringtone Theatre.' This usually starts when someone's cell phone goes off and the hot new track by Deez Nutz or whoever the rapper of the day is blares through the tiny little speaker to rape the ears of everyone around. This is followed by one or more persons praising them for their achievement of pressing the 'buy' button by whipping out their own little plastic "phones," which by now are pretty much like an electronic swiss army knife, but instead of useful knives it has different lengths of cheese graters and rubber chickens, and they start playing their renditions of 'Paper Planes' and whatever 8 bit reggae/rap/rock songs over their sidekicks. AND THIS HAPPENED AT A DINNER TABLE. Ain't modern America AWESOME? Sarcasm for that last statement aside, it IS awesome. Because WATCH, AS I LEAVE THIS COMPUTER AT TWO THIRTY IN THE MORNING ON A FRIDAY, and return with a VANILLA SLURPEE. TAH DAH! He's.. he's GONE.
Well I'm back from my month long trip to the vanilla slurpee, but i can't fully enjoy this delicious treat. Because while I was at the 7-11, which does stay up all night, twenty four hours a day, YES, seven eleven stays up all night, seven whole days a week, but I couldn't get a discount -if you get that reference, we should be friends,- I couldn't help but notice the idiot people perusing the energy drinks. My more faithful readers will recall earlier in my rant how I tackled "The Emo Specimen," their characteristics and their all-around annoying existance. Well while looking at the energy drinks, I couldnt help but feel slightly discouraged, as I came to a chilling and stunning conclusion that I had not tackled even harder the retarded relative to the emo specimen, yes boys and girls, I do mean-
The Scene Kid
I once heard that if you can't think of something to say, someone else has said it better. Indeed they have-
Scenesters, also known as scene kids, sceney boppers, scenefags, and total fucking morons, are participants in a giant contest on the Internet to see who can sport the most ridiculous hair, take the most "edgy" scene pics at strange angles, listen to the most obscure, artfully tasteless music, and get away with not being called emo. they are basically the result of some "Emo Rawk Gawd" leaving the continent of Europe, screwing some Hello Kitty loving Japanese 16 year old, and dumping their unwanted, wrist slitting, rainbow loving child to spread the SceneGene around the U.S. (as if we did not have enough emo and goth kids to worry about now we have to deal with their rainbow loving cousins.) Scene and emo both share some common elements of fashion, hair, and homosexuality. Calling a scenester an emo will result in anger. you'll most likely do this, as no normal person can tell them apart by looks. Without getting into the whole music part, the main difference between emos and scenesters is scenesters are less depressed and whiny and a lot more retarded and obnoxious. Unlike emos, who are stuck up because they are faking depression, scene kids are stuck up for the sake of... being stuck up. Once of the greatest enigmas of scene culture is that they hate being labeled "scene", even though they're trying to be scene, which is in fact a MIND FUCK.
Emo kids want to kill themselves; Scene kids make OTHER people want to kill themselves.
Symptoms of Scenesteritis
Clothing is.... oh you know what, fuck it. Scenesters are all hipster, neo-hippie flight jacket wearing faggots and if you ever come across one, beat it within an inch of its life for being a part of the most retarded piece of shit gimmick fad in recent history. Scene bands include MCR, Fall Out Boy, etc, etc, I can't even begin the list, it's just too big, and anything whored on Myspace without talent, i.e. Jeffree Star
kthxbai.
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