proFeign® ™ profile picture

proFeign® ™

measure it with a micrometer, mark it with a grease pencil, cut it with an axe

About Me

About me: I have a bewildering array of special features.

Drinking more than seven days a week is not just irresponsible, it's impossible.


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. She should've read the sign
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. "...William Safire orders two Whoppers Junior..."
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. crime ain't something you should do; it's something you should don't.

My Interests

things. lots of them.

I'd like to meet:

Mostly dead people. I wonder what that says about me.My grandpa, Dr. Bob, Bill W, Bill Hicks, Richard Feynemann...The guy who wrote the code for WinXP that makes the "restart computer now?" dialog pop up with "restart now" selected so when you hit the space bar or enter unsuspectingly it can shut your computer down in the middle of whatever you were doing. Also this guy's not dead, probably, but I would like to meet him and kill him.

Music:

All types of wil' shit.

Movies:

VW GTI MK V ad: "Catapult"



Awesome, they built a trebuchet for Tre.

let's

Television:

Law and Order [the OG version], Law and Order: Criminal Intent, NOT fucking Law and Order SVU, damn it; it's the same damn show over and over and over and over and over. Plus the actors are fucking annoying. The Simpsons, Family Guy, West Wing, TJ Hooker, The A-Team, Airwolf, Sledgehammer, The Commish, Night Rider, Howdy Doody, TNG, MST3K

Books:

P.D. James. The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton. What's the deal with his newer books? I mean "State of Fear" is a fucking travesty... He used to be one of my favorite authors, not for his, well, uh, uninspired prose of late, but his attention to detail and depth of plot. His thinly veiled justifications (in the form of books) to propagate his xenophobic and unilateral condemnations of various things are really starting to get old. Anyway, et tu, Michael?

Heroes:

Bob and Bill. My grandfather and grandmother. Albert Einstein. Leonhard Euler.

My Blog

technical inaccuracies in movies

oh man don't get me started, but the most recent movie I saw was "shooter" with marky mark as a redneck marine corps force recon scout sniper who is framed for an assassination attempt.anyway in a mov...
Posted by proFeign® " on Mon, 30 Jul 2007 07:37:00 PST

Post of today - Vocab

Well, I'm a big English fan, so I've accumulated some of the words I either didn't know or thought were useful and raer.  I actually put this list together for my friend who was preparing for the...
Posted by proFeign® " on Thu, 19 Jul 2007 11:48:00 PST

call for suggestifications

i will be posting my next installment soon, and I'm not nearly out of ideas, but i'd love to hear some suggestions for topics for my little diatribes...here are some that are under consideration:abras...
Posted by proFeign® " on Sat, 14 Jul 2007 03:11:00 PST

random ass factoid bulletin 2: band-aids

so i do a lot of projects with machines and tools and plastics and metal with sharp edges and stuff and consequently i cut my hands up all the time. so i'm something of a band-aid connoisseur, and am...
Posted by proFeign® " on Sat, 14 Jul 2007 03:01:00 PST

random-ass post o' the day - LUBRICANTS

Howdy y'all,NOTE: before you get disappointed that the primary focus of this post is not sex lube (though it may make an appearance), please note that you migh...
Posted by proFeign® " on Sat, 14 Jul 2007 03:01:00 PST

Posts o' the day

well, i've decided to get as much mileage as possible out of my bulletin posts on random shit so i'm posting them as blogs also, for posterity, or something.anyway here's the first one.  i'll pro...
Posted by proFeign® " on Sat, 14 Jul 2007 03:00:00 PST

by the power vested in chancellor henry t. yang...

...a degree of bachelor of science in mechanical engineering has been conferred upon me.now i just need to find an apartment and a job...i have to pack and move in the next two days and i have neither...
Posted by proFeign® " on Mon, 18 Jun 2007 04:13:00 PST

Anybody use a straight razor [aka "throat-cut razor"] ?

What razor do y'alls use (menfolk and womenfolk)?I just ordered from eBay two straight razors (one normal and one with replaceable blades). I'm a do it the old school way sort of fool, plus it sounds...
Posted by proFeign® " on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 11:35:00 PST

Quixotic

Seriously, what goober made the "quixotic" smiley face (see right above this sentence) a googley eyed blue thing?  That is quixotic how?  That's some shit, if you were playing Pictionary and...
Posted by proFeign® " on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 10:59:00 PST

How to clean your bathtub

I just posted this as a bulletin but I don't get on myspace much and I thought it was worth repeating.  Sue me.Yeah, I know, bathtub cleaning is kinda random, but this is fucking awesome:My sink ...
Posted by proFeign® " on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 10:57:00 PST