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About Me


I'M NEVER ON HERE, FIND ME ON FACEBOOK

"it's really quite fun being mad, you get such WONDERFUL ideas."
-virginia woolf

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my name is christian ellermann and i'm going to be a writer when i grow up. remember my name.

life is better staunch.

"but you see in dealing with me, the relatives didn't know that they were dealing with a staunch character and i tell you if there's anything worse than dealing with a staunch woman... S-T-A-U-N-C-H. there's nothing worse, i'm telling you. they don't weaken, no matter what."
-edith "little edie" beale

My Interests

I'd like to meet:


margaret hamilton, the woman who played the wicked witch of the west. my first love (since i was two). so i've loved her a lot longer than the dumbasses who discovered "wicked: the musical" a few years ago. she is my greatest influence. she is the constant throughout my changing interests. she is my goddess. i pray to her. seriously.
december 9, 1902 – may 16, 1985

my second crush ever (after the wicked witch of the west), winona ryder. i fell in love with her after i saw beetlejuice when i was two years old. she's only 19 years, 6 months, and 6 days older than me, and that's not THAT big an age difference. we're going to get married one day, but she doesn't know that yet...

please adopt me, katie price and peter andre.

and this bitch goddess, hillary rodham clinton:

My Blog

if one more person says they’re moving to canada

i might have to kill them.are you aware that canada is one of the most liberal countries in world? it's MORE liberal than obama and GODDESS HILLARY put together. you people are fucking ignorant. pleas...
Posted by on Fri, 21 Nov 2008 04:20:00 GMT

why i love katie price

she has a fun, slutty side: but, she's also a great mother and businesswoman:part 1 part 2 and any one who hates her (pamela anderson) can suck on a pair of donkey testicles...
Posted by on Wed, 15 Oct 2008 06:41:00 GMT

Frequently Asked Questions

Feel free to ask more.Q: Are you gay?A: No. But I think I'm a lesbian that's happily born in a guy's body. That explains why I'm feminine and still like girls.Q: Don't you voodoo people?A: No. That wa...
Posted by on Tue, 07 Oct 2008 06:25:00 GMT

tila tequila

"i love candyland. that's why this room is like this. it's like candyland, a fantasy land of candy"you are the most inarticulate person in the world. please learn how to read so that maybe you'll gain...
Posted by on Sun, 01 Jun 2008 20:27:00 GMT

stupid, stupid, stupid people

conversation i overheard, and now wish i hadn'tgirl 1: oh, is that your new andy warhol bag?girl 2: yeahgirl 1: omg, it's really cutegirl 2: aw, thanks!girl 1: really. he designs the cutest purses eve...
Posted by on Wed, 28 May 2008 23:50:00 GMT

Cruelty for Dummies

i had to write a how-to in journalism. it's about how to be mean.  Cruelty for Dummies Cruelty is an art form. In a world with more and more stupid people and drama-starters than ever befo...
Posted by on Tue, 12 Feb 2008 14:15:00 GMT

someone stole my copy of SHOWGIRLS

when i find out who did it*, i'm going to rip his fat-pored face off his  skull.*miguel.
Posted by on Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:59:00 GMT

READ ME

my mommy and mimi BOTH have alot of health problems right now. i've been saying that i'm grounded and turning every one down to hang out so i can spend time with them. and i didn't just tell the truth...
Posted by on Fri, 09 Nov 2007 17:20:00 GMT