A bitter man long bereft of land and home...
50 questions for your myspace profile Where were you born?: in a house In what year?: the year of the croaching commie What color is your hair?: somewhere between black and white What color are your eyes?: they change color How tall are you?: people generally say I'm like somewhere between Bao Xishun and He Pingping What size are your feet?: about the size of a human male's average shoe size Are they ticklish?: who? human males? probably What's your favorite movie?: Snatch Whats your favorite TV show?: Father Ted Who's your favorite actor?: Jimmy Cagney! Actress?: hmmm... in terms of looks or talent? Type of music?: oi, probably Artist/band?: Madness Color?: red Sport?: football Food?: pie n chips Season: Spring School Subject?: no I never was a good one Do you have a best friend?: yes Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: what, a transsexual? fuck off you pervo How many close friends do you have?: a couple Do you prefer Coke or Pepsi?: Coke. always (incidentally, I now see this quiz is a coca-cola trojan horse!) Dogs or cats?: cats, you dumb fucker Desparate Housewives or Gray's Anatomy?: bullet or noose? Where were you when you first heard about the hijackings on 9/11?: It woz 'im wot dun it! I'm innocent, guv! Whats the furthest from home you've been?: America If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?: Majorca? Who was the last person who said hi to you?: some stupid fucking spammer on my email Made you mad?: that one bloke with the electrodes and hack-saw Helped you fix something?: my spanner Drove you somewhere?: my feet Bought you something?: a certain large chain, tho they didn't know it You called?: Yes, Jeeves. I'll have a cup of tea and then pop round Lady Fuddlebrain'd You Messaged?: lolz, thz info-age is so kwl! Sang to you?: some drunk homeless guy Read to you?: read me my rights? Have you ever laughed so much milk came out of your nose?: yes, when watching Mel Gibson's "Signs" Got gum caught in your hair?: nope, i aint thick Ate dog food?: I thought it was some posh French food Kissed a dog?: I thought it was a French girl Aced a test?: I thought it was a French.... ah, forget it Stayed up all night?: after the previous experiences Gone a day without eating?: not voluntarily Gone 2 days without brushing your teeth?: eh what? Can you pat your stomach and rub your head in a circle at the same time?: not currently Stand on your hands?: I once trod on my hand one, yes Wiggle your ears?: with my fingers? Speak another language?: some English Make a wine glass hum with your fingers?: I can make it tinkle, shatter, smash, and splinter Whistle?: best thing since the wheel, writing and lager
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