5/8/09 ...Well, let me start off by thanking you for writing that letter stating you were NOT thrown out of our home & that this is your decision. I personally don’t think it’s a wise decision, but like you said, your 18 now. I wish you the best, of course. But, as you wrote in your letter about tension in the house … don’t you think that might be known as the “teenage years†that every family goes through? I know I did when I was your age ……. And I respect my parents now for the discipline they gave me. I just don’t know why you feel the need to run every time you get into an argument with your family. When we got into our argument, you ran to your mother & lived with her for a month, then got into an argument with her & you went to Barb’s, got in an argument after 2 months and then came back home. Now, you get in an argument with your father & you’re moving to Matt’s. I don’t understand this ….. I also don’t understand, if their was so much tension in our home since you started high school, as you stated, why then did you come back home after living with your mother & grandparents? And if we were such horrible parents, like we were told by mutual friends, why did they even allow you to come home? I think because they knew it was the best place for you ……….. But, that would never be said out loud ! I know I ask a lot of questions at times & I don’t expect an answer, but when you come home & say, “Noni said this about you or my mom said this about you†I get upset & it does cause tension, because they have no reason to say anything about me or your father, unless they are told a “story†that is untrue. And, if I ask them why it was said, it’s always a different story than what I heard from you or it wasn’t said at all. That was most of my tension. You said I was always “bad mouthed†by them. But, I was NEVER appreciated for the things I did for you ( by you or anyone) Your father always said he was glad I was there for you, since he was working most of the time. I took you to ever egg hunt I could find, took you to parks, cub scouts, taught your baseball team (nobody else wanted to do it, but me & your father LOL) played the Tooth Fairy, always had a b-day cake for you, I took a week’s vacation when you had the chicken pox, because YOU were MY responsibility, had your hair bleached when I knew other family members would hate it ! Planned a surprise vacation to the Bahamas for your 13th b-day, Sixers games, Phillies games etc. etc.. My family took you in as though you were their own, they still love you & always will. Your father & I were always there for the 1st day of school through every grade, made sure your grades were good and would call the teacher if I thought there was a problem, picked you up & dropped you off at friends places etc. , I was there when your mother moved to Florida & you were upset because you were going to miss your siblings. I could make a list a mile long …..This was all because of the love we do have as a family & will always have. I did/do get “down†at times ~ when you walked out on your 16th B-Day party that I was having for you with family, you never showed up for dinner the night before I left for Colorado & I specifically asked for you to be home & the horrible stories you told your mother the night we got in our fight. I really wish you would have told her, that before you left that night, that we sat down & spoke about why I was upset and that we forgave each other & hugged & kissed each other good-bye that night. That part of the story was left out. I was made out as a monster. Some of the lies & horrible things that I heard about that night were outright lies …. I was so hurt. And you had to know about these lies & you probably never defended me in any way. You know that you were suppose to ask your father if you could go to the funeral & you never did, you instead, decided to skip school. When you have kids one day, you will realize how scary it is when you think they are at one place & they’re not. All you had to do was ask your father …. Simple. Not make us think you’re walking to the bus stop when you’re real not. The world is a crazy place ! I never, ever got any appreciation from anyone but your father. I would think you & your part of the family would be thrilled that I love you & took care of you, like you were my child, but instead was bad-mouthed for years. You had a cooked meal on the table every night, a clean house, a cool bedroom, that your father worked his butt off to make it that way, clean clothes, a stable environment. I guess if I lived in a motel room & ordered out every night & forgot about your b-day & Christmas, I would be thought of as a great stepmother. Or held you back from hanging with your friends so much because it’s “unhealthy†I would be a great stepmother … but, I didn’t!! I allowed you to be with your friends as much as you wanted.. After you all graduate you will all go your separate ways, so enjoy the time now. That was my thought…. Guess that’s wrong to. And you were NEVER mentally abused as Barb told you & you told me. I guess I did wrong with you and I’m sorry. I tried my best Zachary. I’m sorry for everything. You are a huge part of my life & hopefully always will be. As we all agreed at the dinner table, you are NOT leaving your home on a bad note. I hope you do come home for dinner anytime you want & call just to say, Hello. My mother always told me she was on my butt because she loved me. I guess that’s why I was always on your butt ….. I wanted you to make the right decisions & take the right paths in life. Some parents I know just let their kids do whatever they please …….. they don’t care. Your father & I care …… Good luck with the choice you have made ………Love you ** This is a letter I wrote Zach b4 he moved out .....