Hi I'm Pitiful and I come from a big family,there's my brother Hunting Trophy, my sister Worthwhile Trophy and my cousin F.A.Trophy. I used to live in a shop up north called Stockport Honours and Trophies (SHAT) until one day a strange little man came into the shop. He looked along shelves of trophies until his eyes settled on me, he turned to the owner and pointed a crooked finger at me and said, "My Precious". I was taken from the shelf and painfully engraved, the Gollumlike creature handed over a paltry £7.99 and took me home in a box. For the next few days I would see the box lid open and a beady eye would look at me longingly, repeatedly I was taken out and caressed which made me feel uncomfortable, I learned that my new owner was called Lima Cowpine. Suddenly a few days later there was a lot of commotion and Lima took me from the box and held me behind his back, a hush fell on the room and Lima made a long and rather self-congratulatory speech before unbelievably awarding me to himself as the winner of some unimportant league. I had dreamed of the day I would be presented and desired by all but this was horriblely cheap and nasty. Lots of people derided Lima and myself and I was sat unceremoniously on a top shelf of a faux oak cabinet. I sat there glumly that night, the only admiring glances I got was from Lima as he grinned at me, please no more caressing I begged! It was a very late night and as I slept in the next day I was taken by an elite member of the Trophies in Turmoil Team in East Stockport (TITTIES) and whisked away silently from under Lima's nose. After a series of long and arduous counselling sessions I am back to my normal self and know that I am out of Lima's reach. Through my new friends in the Alliance I am looking forward to a number of trips to football matches, safe places where I know Lima will never venture. I will be posting lots of pictures from all my adventures, bye for now ;0)
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