Gnarlene

Friends.... I don't want to alarm you... I really don't. But I think we both know these are the end times. Just look around you and look at what's happening people. Banks going a bust, people's losin' their jobs... car companies can't sell no cars, fellers who used ta work on wall street hustlin' their asses down in Times Square. This is the big one peeps. But just a'cause we're all a goin' ta Hades in a used Hummer and pigs is wearin' lipstick and runnin' around tryin' to get a vote don't mean that ya don't a got to do what's right and buy this here record I been a trying ta sell. Ya get me? Cause here's the deal. Iffn' you don't buy this here record, the terrorists win. If you don't buy this a here record, Satan is a gonna rise on up, dig up your sainted grandma's remains and do the kind of unspeakable things to her corpse that... well, I'd just ruther not even think about it, peeps. On the other hand... say you just getcher card out... plunk down a few bucks on this here record and spin it up. Here's what'll happen. You'll get the dangdest rosified new outlook on life... the whole e-conomy gonna get a big dose o' self confidence, gonna be a buncha new jobs created in the green sector... terrorists gonna go runnin' home ta mamma and Satan gonna stay down there in Hades where he dang well belongs and ain't a gonna be diggin' up nobodies granny and messin' around with her dead body parts. So, you think about it a while and a just consider which of these here alternatives suits you better, ya hear?------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ --- Look.... I really don't care if you're a creepy little record store or some punk jerk on the street. You're all just the same to me. Red meat on the hoof. You're freaked about the economy, your bank just went under and you don't know whether you're gonna have the money to buy the things you're gonna want to make you happy next weekend.That's where I come in. You see, I got this great deal for you. You email me and include "I want the 5 cd deal" in the subject line. You pay only $8 per unit, I ship you 5 copies of the Bloodiest and most Treasured CD of 2008, signed and ready for you to pimp on your creepy little friends for $12 per. You just made yourself $20 and you helped your friends discover the astounding new "South Park Sound"... and you can get a case of Pabst and drink yourself into a near coma! Sweet. Lather rinse and repeat for best results.---------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------Preferred 2 to 1 over leading national brands.Gnarlene is a wacky musician/cultural enema technician operating out of South Park in Seattle, WA. USA.Blood & Treasure, Gnarlene's latest and greatest musical release is a fun, campy ride with songs in the power pop/punk, country, heavy metal, and just plain silly genre's. What ties them all together is Gnarlene's witty songwriting, and the brilliant production provided by Jon Goff at Self Adhesive records.Jon is an incredible multi-instrumentalist and a top notch engineer. Also appearing on the album is Sean Davin, a fellow South Parkian and gifted guitar player. From tasty country licks to skull pounding metal, Sean can do it all.Missy James (also of South Park) puts her special talents to work as "Iron Velma".Check out these tunes, become my good and true friend 4 ever, and tell all your creepy little friends too.Gnarlene has spoken