General Spook X

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

General Spook X [Alter-Ego/Shadow]

Joshua [First]: God of Salvation

Wade [Middle]: The Advancer, Champion, WINNER

My story on how a worm became an anomaly..

I was born into existence on the day of 02.03.83 at the Good Samaritan Hospital. I believe that many, at that time, underestimated how much of an impact and dent I will leave on this world and in their minds. To the ones that are already oblivious... you will eventually see..

I will show you that you played a role.
I grew up in the small town of Sumner. And with all small towns, came small minds; it was a given. People that were afraid of change, people that were afraid of someone exploiting their small precious little town, ect.. I never let the closed minds of others affect me in a negative way. When I am approached with such things, such ideas, I turn it around and use it in my defense. For example, if I surrounded myself with ignorance, I use that in my defense to become educated, open minded and to never become apart of something that has failed. (Don't get me wrong, I know that failure is essential to the learning process; I am just using the word to show a lower form of existing and a lower form of perceiving things).


When I was a worm, a little boy, I literally lived within my imagination... letting it control every part of how I perceive the world around me. I never knew a world outside of that because my parents never allowed the outside to come in. They offered me a sheltered life and I took it because I knew nothing else.

My childhood now, seems like a complete different life of mine. The way I perceived the world was so pure, so untainted by disrupting negative forces. I would almost kill to relive that but, I know that some day I will reach that point once again and again..

I remember how I knew through and through that my toys were indeed alive; that they had a place here just as you and I. That whenever I would walk away from my bedroom, they would become alive and act as like some kind of community. Sure, it sounds absurd now, but it goes to show you how powerful the imagination really is.

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." _Albert Einstein

Still to this day, I hold my inner child. I may always mature, but never will I grow up. It's just something that if I knew I lost, a huge part of me would die inside. Looking back at my childhood now, I realize that it was best that my parents had sheltered me from this place because I soon found out what they wanted to shelter me from..

Being ushered into my adolescent years was such a huge departure from the rest. Experiencing things I never would have dreamed of as a child. From suicide to drugs to betrayal to hate to indifference to tolerance. This world was killing me. I'm not sure where it began but, I remember myself starting to shy away from my so called 'loved ones' and away from 'The Norm'. There was nothing I wanted more than to just get away, to disconnect myself from what reality has become for me. In some way, at that time, I felt betrayed by my parents for bringing me up the way they did and then feeling despised by them from what I have become. I felt like I was the boy that they loved, but the man they feared.

As many around me has taken notice, I started associating myself with Marilyn Manson and what I believed he was saying through his art. I felt connected and a part of something again.

[ Disconnect to reconnect ]
At one point, it was almost unbearable to me. We lived by a cliff that viewed all of Sumner and I remember hiking up there not having any clue that I would eventually have my toes up to its drop off point. Some of my friends were behind me conversing about something else not paying any attention on what I was doing. I wanted to erase the speed of pain.

You never said forever could hurt like this..
As I looked down 40-50 ft. cliff, my life started flashing before my eyes. It was then that I realized that this was not how I would leave the world and then started backing up from the cliffs' edge. Back then I was so infuriated at the world for letting me get that low; I felt that revenge was what I needed to uptake on.

I believe it was then that I finally put aside my inner-child (josh) to protect that part of me from this place and then General Spook X was unnoticeably born to take a more dominate role in my life. My original intent was to have that character that had I created, destroy this world to save it. But, as everything we create, it has manifested itself and evolved from its originated starting point.

After my childhood, when I started opening up to this world, I always thought how absurd it was and never felt that I belonged here. Eventually, I found that I did have a role and that I was just as important as the next person. Still to this day, it is hard for me to grasp why our world still works the way it does... in its chaotic existent order; but I know now that:

without order nothing can exist - without chaos nothing can evolve.

Love is like a fire... it burns down all that it sees..

...And so it is that in the moment you pledge your highest love, you greet your greatest fear.
For the first thing you worry about after saying "I love you" is whether you'll hear it back. And if you hear it back, then you begin immediately to worry that the love you have just found, you will lose. So, all action becomes reaction - defense against loss (even as you seek to defend yourself against the loss of God himself). Any hope for love can be killed; this is the sign of our times. Love is just a word; what matters is the connection in which the word implies.

Today, I had found the purpose of life itself while it continues to encompass our very existence here in this place. The purpose of life is to reach an 'Omega-Point' once again (returning to its/our source). The term is nearly at the end and eternity has gone into reruns. If God controls time, then all time is predecided (God eventually takes away what he once gave).

'I am a deeply religious nonbeliever; which is somewhat a new kind of religion.'

"When all (of) this is over, Heaven knows I'm going nowhere. I was only dreaming - censored for a deeper meaning.."

[much MUCH more to become]

: : : . Dissecting My Tattoos . : : : :

War tattoo - I had spawned this idea from Charles Manson's philosophy. Charlie had specifically told Tex, Leslie, and Katie to leave some sort of a message of 'Helter Skelter' at the LaBianca's place the night of their prolific murder scene. It was there that Katie had carved the word: 'WAR' into Leno LaBianca's stomach signifying the last war on the face of this earth.

Bringing this belief into the reality of today and incorporating it into my own beliefs, I have the word WAR appeared to be carved on my stomach because I am declaring war on this Establishment. By holding onto what I believe in and feel strongly about. Also, not giving in to a Society/Establishment/Reality that fails to exist.

It's about holding my side of the battle of just existing here and correlates with the 'structural theory' of the human mind by declaring parallel personalities. These parallels I am speaking of, represented by this tattoo, are primarily my Ego and Alter Ego. It's about the reaction or 'war' of these personalities: Josh & General Spook X.

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed." _Carl Gustuv Jung

War was our beginning... it is where everything that exists today, has come into what it has evolved into.

Ouroboros tattoo - The Ouroboros ('The Tail-Devourer') is the symbolization of concepts such as completion, perfection and totality; 'The endless round of existence.' It has several meanings interwoven into it. Foremost, it is the symbolism of The Serpent or Worm biting, devouring, eating its own tail.

The Milky Way Galaxy is the inspiration for the symbol of the Ouroboros. Myth refers to a serpent of light residing in the Heavens. The Milky Way is this Serpent and viewed at galactic central point near Sagittarius, this Serpent eats its own tail. This galaxy keeps a great time cycle that ends in catastrophic change. The sign of the Suntelia Aion is the sun rising out of the mouth of the ouroboros, which will occur on the solstice December 2012.

This symbolises the Cyclic Nature of The Universe: Creation out of Destruction, Life out of Death. The Ouroboros eats its own tail to sustain its life, in an eternal cycle of renewal. ...The All is One when the line became a circle.

[ * All tattoos courtesy of 'Vino'. ]

Zodiac:

Aquarians can be a threat to all they survey or a great boon for Humanity in general. Aquarians may cause the atrophy of the openness of the mind. [2.3.83] ...the worm is born.

The Age of Aquarius was officially ushered in, in the Astrologer's opinion, on January 23rd, 1997 at 17:35 GMT. This means the end of an era (Age of Pisces) and the beginning of another (Age of Aquarius). Many feel this heralds the coming of the 'End of Times' as written in the Holy Bible. Some feel it is the dawning of the 'New World Order'.

Jesus was the one to announce the Age of Aquarius: "A man will meet you carrying an earthen pitcher of water; follow him into the house where he goes in." (Luke 22:10; Mark 14:13.)

"And then the man who bears the pitcher will walk across an Arc of Heaven. The sign and signet of the Son of Man stands forth in the Eastern sky. The wise will then lift up their heads and know that the redemption of the Earth is near." (157.29,30.)

This 'Golden Age' is destined to synthesize and cleanse all religious regimes. Also to free the minds of delusion, ignorance, and fear... forever.

Childhood is an anomaly.

Quotes:

Closed minds should come with closed mouths. _General Spook X

Do not live like there is no today, live like there is no tomarrow. _General Spook X [v. .]

Technology can never exceed our imagination. _General Spook X [Ghost in the Machine]

You were born an original, don't die a copy. _General Spook X [Born to Break This]

The Weak wait for opportunities, while The Strong make them. _General Spook X [Born to Break This]

Winners don't always win, they just never give up. _General Spook X [Born to Break This]

Our mistakes remind us that we are still human. _General Spook X [Ghost in the Machine]

Anyone can become their own Universe amoung The Stars. _General Spook X [Ghost in the Machine]

"You have to transform, or you will cease to exist." _Marilyn Manson

"You can only become who you really are, when you no longer believe what others have convinced you to be." _Marilyn Manson

"The idea of Mechanical Animals is that man makes himself more and more irrelevant with what he creates. You kind of have to remember where it all comes from. If machines someday replace men, they would realize that you can't replace the human soul, so they'd have to try to start manufacturing humans again." _Marilyn Manson

"The more man creates machines to replace humans, the more humans act like machines. So, I think if people rely on their imagination, it is the only thing that separates us from being more and more creations of technology." _Marilyn Manson

"Look down on me and I'm NOTHING, look up to me and I'm GOD, look straight at me and I am YOU." _Charles Manson

"A baby is born into this world in a state of fear. Total paranoia and awareness. He sees the world with eyes not used yet. As he grows up, his parents lay all this stuff on him. They tell him, when they should be letting him tell them. Let the children lead you!" _Charles Manson

"Don't think. He who thinks is lost, because if you have to think about something, to doubt it, you're lost already." _Charles Manson

"The time has ended and will catch up to each person's thought as it does." _Charles Manson

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." _Albert Einstein

"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." _Albert Einstein

"If you want your children to be brilliant, teach them myths. If you want them to be very billiant, teach them more myths." _Albert Einstein

"Because we continuosly build machines that exceed yesterdays standards, they will eventually exceed the human mind." _Albert Einstein

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity." _Albert Einstein

"You have to systematically create confusion, it sets creativity free. Everything that is contradictory creates life." _Salvador Dali

"It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship god, but to create him." _Arthur C. Clarke

"We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams. Wandering by lone sea-breakers and sitting by desolate streams. World-losers and world-forsakers on whom the pale moon gleams; yet we are the movers and shakers of the world forever, it seems." _Arthur O'Shaughnessy

Tarot:

The Emperor (Representing my Shadow) - Stability, power, protection; a great person; aid, reason, conviction. Reversed: Benevolence, compassion, credit; also confusion to enemies, obstruction, immaturity.
A sovereign ruler wearing a golden bejewelled crown is seated upon a throne decorated with the heads of rams carved into it. This may signify the initiating decisive kind of leadership represented by the sign of Aries. In his right hand he holds a scepter. In his left hand he holds a golden globe which is said to be a symbol of the whole world. Beneath his royal robes we can see that he is wearing armor and thus is prepared for battle. His throne is situated upon the sandy shore of a small river that runs past mountainous cliffs. (Authority, ruler, leadership, decision & corruption.)

The Empress (Representing my Flesh) - Fruitfulness, action, initiative, length of days; the unknown, clandestine; also difficulty, doubt, ignorance. Reversed: Light, truth, the unraveling of involved matters, public rejoicings; according to another reading, vacillation.
The Empress is seated on a comfortable cushioned throne. In her right hand there is a scepter and at her side a heart-shaped shield bearing the sigil of Venus, a symbol of love, beauty, and fertility. Upon her head she wears a garland of stars symbolizing abundant hopes instead of a crown. Her throne rests at the edge of a fertile field bearing ripe grains. Behind her we can see a wooded glade lush with growth and abundance overlooking a gentle waterfall. The sky overhead is golden and cloudless. (Fertility, abundance/overabundance, corruption from spoiling, all that is feminine, life giving & gentle assuredness.)

: : : . Shout-Outs . : : : :

+D0K70R:

I want to dedicate a huge part of my profile to my brother. If it weren't for him playing such a huge role in my life, I wouldn't be the person I am today. He has helped me open up to this dying and ever-expanding world. The bond we have cannot be broken by anything this world wants to throw at us. We are back to back against the biggest killer of all... The System-Loop with which we live in. But one thing I know for sure, is that we are both in this together now... forever. I love you beyond what I show each and every day, bro. Just keep in mind: NEVER FORGET; because, as you had said, "That in which is not remembered, never existed."

Kelly:

Jelly, you have shown me so very much on what this world can still offer if I look hard enough within myself. Words could not express what you mean to me. Love you lots! "Thank you" doesn't even begin to express how much I appreciate you for giving me my pulse back.

R0GU3 V1RU5:

Thank you for your inspiration and all that you have unsuspectedly shown me here. Continuously trying to push the boundaries that are set in front of you gives me the strength to trudge ahead. Us, as 'The Triad', we fight the same battle forever.

You have shown me that you have a huge heart for people that you truely care about.

N3V3R-WHERE:

It amazes me how quick you catch onto things and how easily you can let go of others (structural ideas that we are programmed to believe in). The general purpose of life is not to believe, but to dream. I can easily and honestly say that you have a better grasp on what we call 'Reality' than the majority, out there. Adapting will kill us all. Never cease to stop dreaming. After all... YOU are in control of what you perceive.

Aaron:

It has felt like a long haul hasn't it bro? From back in the days of good old Sumner High until now. We've had our ups and certainly had our downs - from an indestructible friendship to the crime-spree scam (partners in crime) and back to the basics again. I cannot express enough how much I thank YOU and Justin for opening me up in High School. If it wasn't for our friendship back then, I'd be a complete invert today - too afraid to ever open up to this dying world.

I feel that we will go through times where we ALL will not be in direct contact but, I am certain that this world will never sever what we have and will always have. I love you, man... Blue Pony out!

Josh:

We started out way back in the day on the opposite sides and later became the best of friends through rebeliation. I believe that you understand more than anyone why we decide not to have our mom or people with negative auras in our life.

Despite what life may throw in our direction, I know that we always have been and always will be the best of bros!

B:

You are the very first of our friends... and a 'best friend' to say the least! We officially became friends way back in the day of third grade and I believe that you connected with us on a level that no one else could at that time (and we still remain to possess that connection, as hidden as it may seem on the surface). Thank you for your friendship and great advice!



and as the perfect wings will glide,
cleansed are men of all the mice.