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I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

Ohhhhhhh I don't know (this part makes me really nervous).
A real life character.
I am funnier than that night your dad got drunk at your sisters wedding and passed out on the dance floor.
I'm more vulgar and dirty minded than your uncles' underwear (you know, the one who always has really bad wet farts).
I'm prettier than your girlfriend but you wouldn't be able to stand being around me for more than a night so I'll make sure to give you back to her in the morning.
Oh, I rap. Not like a birthday present, that's spelled with a "w" at the beginning. No, and not like non-consensual sex, that has an "e" on the end of it.
If you like preppy or punky white girls you probably won't like me. That's okay though, because I won't like you either.
I'm embarrassing to bring in public so don't send me one of the messages on myspace saying "hey you're hot let's go out sometime" because if I really really don't want to.....I'll do it just so I know you'll never myspace me again. Better yet, you will probably block me. Actually there might be a restraining order involved but if you take it that far than at least pay me or something dayum.
If you were to date me for real, just tell me that your mom lives out of the country or something because if she meets me she will think you're stupid for dating me and will end up beating you over the head with a wooden spoon (if you're Italian) or a frying pan (if you're from the South) or any other type of miscellaneous kitchen item.
My nails are real.
I don't have a lot of friends, but the few good ones I have are better than your 100 fake ass friends.
Girls have nose hairs too, they're usually not as long as dudes' nose hairs though, that's why you can't see them. And if they are as long/thick, than I genuinely hope they get cut.
I'm sarcastic and most of that wasn't true.
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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

You. Your Mom. Your Dad. And your Grandma. And Ludacris. And Lil Wayne.
As far as the dudes....here it is:Confidence/ambition/motivation/talent is hot and equals success. On top of it, you gotta be funny, you gotta think I'm funny, you gotta have personality, be outgoing, be nice, but know when to be assertive and never kiss ass. Be a hustler, have some hood in you, not come from a lot of money but know how to make it........those types of people don't take anything for granted and know how to appreciate everything in life....from a meal to a new car or house to the people in their life. It's always nice to have a hot boy to drool over but attraction based on physical appearance only lasts as long as lust. I want a man, not a boy. Preferably a Pisces :) Someone who is passionate about life and their interests. Some one with a positive attitude. Someone who thinks I am beautiful every minute of the day. Some one who smells good. Some one who knows how to take care of themselves in all aspects. Some one who is down to earth and treats their best friends with same respect as they would treat a plumber or Mohammed from the 7-11 on Laurel Canyon and Chandler in North Hollywood. Some one who makes love.
"I have an imaginary boyfriend. He's very cute, like between 6'1" and 6'2". He's from like Oakland or Atlanta or New York or something like that, he has 4 percent body fat. He's a football player, plays corner. He's 24, his football number is 24, and all 5 of his cars have 24 inch rims. It's fantastic, we don't cuddle but we don't sleep on the opposite edges of the bed either. He has beautiful lips and teeth and he never chews with his mouth open. His favorite show is Jeopardy and we Tivo every episode so when he comes home after practice we have a contest to see who answers the most questions correctly....and whoever loses has to please the other person.....orally. I win every night. He makes me breakfast in the morning......multi-grain toast with cashew butter, a peeled clementine, and a glass of Tropicana orange-pinneapple juice. I clean the house, he goes to practice and I play on my turn-tables. I'm like "babe do you want to make sexy time?" and he says "hell no!" and I'm like "what?" and he's like "I want to make love""
-Quoted by Christina Christensen
Did I really just say that? Damm!And then I wake up only wanting to go back to my dreams. Wow what an imagination.

My Blog

My least favorite subject....MEN

So I'm sitting here being weak as hell right now.Crying.Bout to go to gym but all I wanna do is go to McDonalds, come home and sit here and cry more.Boogers are startin to run.Yucky.I'm sad.Sad becaus...
Posted by on Thu, 21 May 2009 13:41:00 GMT

I have a dream of being a wealthy seagull and playing basketball in flatland deserts on TMZ

I have a dream that one day someone will put a quadriple dose of liqiud laxatives in the coffee of that TMZ guy....ya know the main editor or whatever the fuck he is....with the terrible brown hair al...
Posted by on Wed, 21 Jan 2009 03:49:00 GMT

Ode to being single

Okay so I rarely will be open about my personal life with the public, but I want to just breifly because I want the world to know how much I appreciate the life I live.Coming from Denver to LA is dras...
Posted by on Fri, 17 Oct 2008 17:37:00 GMT

MAXIM Hometown Hotties!

Yeah! Please people vote for me! Remember you have to vote for 10 girls total or it wont count! PLEASE please PLEASE re-post so your friends can vote too! Thanks! Lotsa love!Click here:http://www...
Posted by on Tue, 01 Apr 2008 16:49:00 GMT

What the heck is going on in the world today?

Alright alrighty alrighty......Life is short, way too short. Why is it so difficult to weigh the pros and cons of decisions when in reality there is no telling what the real risk is? I have been in ...
Posted by on Mon, 10 Dec 2007 10:16:00 GMT

Superficial life w/o substance vs. changing baby diapers and making dinner all day.

Okay I honestly have no idea why I'm writing this blog, or if it even has a point, but I tend to analyze things a lot with the most open mind possible. And lately I've just been trying to order my pr...
Posted by on Fri, 02 Nov 2007 17:34:00 GMT

Maxim's Hometown Hotties 2007!

Three month warning!  Maxims' Hometown Hotties contest is coming up pretty soon again!  Be expecting brand new hot hot pics!  Do your finger lifts and finger stretches cause I know yo...
Posted by on Wed, 03 Jan 2007 04:41:00 GMT

Lingerie Bowl

Hey everyone!  Okay so I have some bad news.....the Lingerie Bowl has been cancelled this year due to loss of a main sponsor (Bodog.com).  Congress had really cracked down on online gambling...
Posted by on Wed, 03 Jan 2007 04:32:00 GMT