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Cash isn't the only thing I take from my father's study when I leave home. I take a small, old gold lighter--I like the design and feel of it--and a folding knife with a really sharp blade. Made to skin deer, it has a five-inch blade and a nice heft. Probably something he bought on one of his trips abroad. I also take a sturdy, bright pocket flashlight out of a drawer. Plus sky blue Revo sunglasses to disguise my age.I think about taking my father's favorite Sea-Dweller Oyster Rolex. It's a beautiful watch, but something flashy will only attract attention. My cheap plastic Casio watch with an alarm and stopwatch will do just fine, and might actually be more useful. Reluctantly, I return the Rolex to its drawer.From the back of another drawer I take out a photo of me and my older sister when we were little, the two of us on a beach somewhere with grins plastered across our faces. My sister's looking off to the side so half her face is in shadow and her smile is neatly cut in half. It's like one of those Greek tragedy masks in a textbook that's half one idea and half the opposite. Light and dark. Hope and despair. Laughter and sadness. Trust and loneliness. For my part I'm staring straight ahead, undaunted, at the camera. Nobody else is there at the beach. My sister and I have on swimsuits--hers a red floral-print one-piece, mine some baggy old blue trunks. I'm holding a plastic stick in my hand. White foam is washing over our feet.Who took this, and where and when, I have no clue. And how could I have looked so happy? And why did my father keep just that one photo? The whole thing is a total mystery. I must have been three, my sister nine. Did we ever really get along that well? I have no memory of ever going to the beach with my family. No memory of going anywhere with them. No matter, though--there is no way I'm going to leave that photo with my father, so I put it in my wallet. I don't have any photos of my mother. My father had thrown them all away.
Clear weather is across the sky, high above, anywhere I go I hold you hand The inside of our bodies bathe in the light The beat in your heart takes care of all the uproars, let’s make a summer we’ll never forget Because you are hereWe’re going to get ride of everything, including the wounds and pain Just the freedom holds me, and I look towards tomorrow.The sun is now above us, and because it continues to shine, This summer will never end, believe me If your having fun with this amazing feeling, continue it, everything’s alright Anything and everything reaches this hot worldIn the place where the south wind blows, before the street we are gazing at, We shake the other mirages The dream conveys something to us before we get there so we can make progress And our hearts strongly make us do this.It’s just one time, the day is today If we collide into it with all of our hearts, the door will open.If you look up, there’s sky, if you look around its sea, we live here In this summer there was the miracle of us meeting, believe you We’re going to laugh, together with you if we jump out, everything’s all right The never ending good weather crosses over that sky
I heard it today That you already have a new man From you friends mouth, it was passed on How you were keeping company surprised meYou made the same present that you gave me Adding a letter with the same content Saying that this kind of love is a first for you, babyLay in the bed I laid in Giving the same look you once gave me Split love with another person, how could you already forget me like this I don’t believe it, did you ever really love me I still can’t fathom loving again yetCall him by the same nickname you called me Hold his hand at the places I took you to Like a person at a march for the first time, pretend to wait in anticipation Those were all precious memories made with me They’ll all be erased if you do them with him too Why are you erasing our memories, why why

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Cash isn't the only thing I take from my father's study when I leave home. I take a small, old gold lighter--I like the design and feel of it--and a folding knife with a really sharp blade.