Jessie Birschbach

I like to fuck. I like to fuck real hard in the ass. Ha! Got you. How terrible would that be if someone actually put that? Well, now that I have your attention, read on slut... Really though, as you might already have noticed, I like to kid. I like to kid so much that I now live in Los Angeles in hopes that one day I might actually make a living from kidding people. "She's only kidding herself," is what you are probably thinking... To that I would say two things- 1. "Boo." For your terrible pun. 2. I would ask you where you received your comedy critique license. And then I would explain that it doesn't apply anyway cause even if you did have a "CCL" from some sort of prestigous agency your are only licensed for a class "Y." "Y" for "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about..." Too far? Please refer to number 2 above... Geez, I'm readin' what I've written so far and so far I sound very harsh. Well, don't worry. I'm all bark and no bite. At least that is what I have been told. I'm actually one of the most laid back people I know. Is that because I'm from Hawaii? Maybe, but I only lived there until I was seven. Besides, I used to hate going to school cause the "local" kids were mean to me since I was a little blonde haired howly girl. After that I lived mostly in San Diego so maybe that has something to do with it too. San Diego is a pretty laid back town but really now that I think about it, it's probably just because my parents smoked a lot of pot... Now I'm here in L.A. It's not soo bad. It could be worse. I do miss my friends and my familia though. Those two things and laughing make up the stuff of life of which there is none without. For me anyway. Good Christ, that sounded pretty fucking poetic. Did I hear that somewhere? Hope not. Well, even if I did hear that somewhere else, it doesn't matter because of its profound truth. Pretty sure I just made it up though. Anyway, I know what you're thinking and NO, I have not been done in the ass. Not yet anyway. I'm not saying I wouldn't ever, I just haven't. Okay? Is that okay with you, Brownie? "Brownie" as in Brown Eye Enthusiast.