JaNe DoE GirL profile picture

JaNe DoE GirL

About Me



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Blink Tag htmlWell my "name" is ?Jane Doe?... i was that girl. that girl you didnt understand. that girl you looked at but didnt SEE. the one you pretended wasnt really there. the one you looked at but hoped she didnt look back. I WAS THAT CHILD who just wanted to be loved. the one who didnt know why you yelled at me, why did you hit me? what did i do for you to hate me so much? MoM- how could you sit and listen to my screams for help as grown men took my purity from me. i was just a baby. DaD- why did getting drunk and then hitting me make you feel so good? why didnt you fight with a grown man instead of using me as your punching bag? u were supposed to be my refuge, my protector. why did no one notice that the reason i acted out was bc i was desperate for your attention.
MySpace CodesI WAS THAT TEEN you pushed away, shut out- the one you liked to ignore. the one you didnt accept bc i wasnt "like you". i didnt look like you, act like you, talk like you. you like to think you know me, but you have never tried to know me. you wanted me to smile when all i wanted to do was die. i was that teen with no friends, the one who sat alone at the lunch table. the one you laughed at bc i didnt curl my hair and batt my eyes the way you did. i was that teen who looked for God at the 'revival'. why did u look at me like i was the devil. why did you turn your nose up at my choice of clothing?? why did you tell me not to come back until i changed my clothes? you told me black was evil. arent you the same one i heard say "God looks at the heart". didnt you know i looked to you for my answers from God? did you know that when you rejected me i felt unacceptable to God. yes, i was that girl... the one that the dark side of the world loves to welcome. the gullible, atttention and affection deprived girl who would do what you said even if it meant hurting myself to please you. if i couldnt be pleased then i would please you... the girl that stood in the shower and watched the way that razor sliced through my flesh like it was butter. the girl that stood and watched the water mix with the blood and form a pink pool around the drain. watching the blood drain took my thoughts away from this world. the girl who looked to myself for answers and safety. no one else has ever protected me, loved me or showed me the way. i found my answers inside. i thought the lies i was hearing to be true. those lies soothed my soul. evil thoughts about the things i wanted to do but didnt made me feel righteous. i wasnt that bad!? i hadnt killed anyone... those thoughts turned into words i spoke when no one was listening. o the torment that came into my soul. haunted by the darkness. tortured by the light...
MySpace CodesI WAS THAT GIRL LOOKING FOR A PLACE I COULD BE *ME*... A PLACE WHERE I DIDNT HAVE TO CONFORM INTO YOUR COOKIE CUTTER MOLD. I DONT NEED YOU TO TELL ME HOW TO LOOK OR HOW TO FEEL. I DONT NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT MUSIC TO LISTEN TO OR WHAT MAKEUP TO WEAR. I AM ME, THATS ALL I CAN BE... IS THERE NO WHERE I CAN GO, NO ONE I CAN TURN TO????
MySpace CodesO YES THATS WHO JANE DOE WAS... BUT NOW!!! O THE LIGHT SHATTERED THE DARKNESS THAT RESTED SO HEAVILY ON MY SOUL. MY REFUGE, MY PROTECTION CANNOT BE FOUND IN ANYTHING OF THIS WORLD. MY SELF MADE HAPPINESS FADED AND IN THE MIDST OF THE PAIN A PEACE GUSHED INTO MY SOUL. O THIS MAN... THIS MAN WHO GAVE IT ALL JUST SO HE COULD LOVE ME. THIS MAN WHO LIFTED THE WEIGHT OF MY BURDEN.
MySpace CodesTHIS MAN WAS JESUS... HE THAT MY EYES HAVE SEEN AND MY EARS HAVE HEARD... HE THAT SPOKE PEACE TO MY DEPRESSION, JOY TO MY SADNESS, SILENCE TO MY SUICIDAL THOUGHTS... HE HUSHES THE LIES THAT ONCE TORMENTED ME DAY AND NIGHT... I WANT YOU TO MEET MY JESUS...
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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

o how i would love to meet people who dont look down at the world from their religious pedestal. i want to meet people more like my Jesus. anyone who isnt scared to reach out to the sinful, the dirty and the hurting. some one who can look into the face of a whore and tell her how valuable she is. some one who will place their hands on the sinful w/o fear of being contaminated by their "disease".
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My Blog

always a journey with God...

i thought that if this helped one person it was worth the writing so here goes... at the beginning of the year as a church body we fasted, and one of the things i fasted for was for a deeper understan...
Posted by on Wed, 27 Feb 2008 19:15:00 GMT

::::JOHNS LOVE::::

as she watches the watered down blood swirl down the drain she thinks about her life. the good, the bad, and the ugly. good? yea there was good. not much, but enought to keep her going- John. he was ...
Posted by on Wed, 12 Sep 2007 19:28:00 GMT

break the cycle!!!

matthew 13:12-23 12 To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given, and they will have an abundance of knowledge. But for those who are not listening, even what little understan...
Posted by on Wed, 29 Aug 2007 16:39:00 GMT

SO ITS PROOF U WANT??

it is necessary that we know and understand the reasons we believe what we believe. i heard it once said that many times "Christians" miss it and fall back and turn into hypocrites bc they never...
Posted by on Tue, 28 Aug 2007 01:29:00 GMT