Anna Kournikova is a goddess! Women (Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em!), Racing, driving, riding motorcycles, wakeboarding, having fun, causing mischief and mayhem
Microwave vs. Cell phone
..
Who you were in Fight Club was not who you were in the rest of the world. A guy came to Fight Club for the first time, his ass was a wad of cookie dough. After a few weeks, he was carved out of wood.
I'd like to meet:
Your mom (=, Someone who will accept for who I am and not what they want me to be.. Someone who appreciates movies and good music. Someone who doesn't mind just shootin the shit, but who can have a serious conversation when needed. If you are snobby, arrogant, judgemental.. you need not apply.
I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species.
Music:
Rammstein, Tool, RATM, NIN, old metallica, The Aquabats, Les Claypool, Buckethead.. and many more.
Movies:
Fight Club (the greatest movie ever!!!), Boondock Saints, Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas, Aliens, Star Wars Trilogy ( not the lame new ones), Scarface, The Breakfast Club, ATHF Movie, Die Hard, Bad Santa, The Chronicles of Oliver Dich...
Boss Kim: Yo dawg.
Tom Ludlow: Konnichiwa.
Boss Kim: What?
Tom Ludlow: Konnichiwa. Konnichiwa. It means what's up. So what the fuck's up?
Thug Kim: [upon seeing a huge gun in Ludlow's trunk] The fuck is this? We said a machine gun.
Tom Ludlow: It is a machine gun.
Boss Kim: The kind you can carry.
Thug Kim: Konnichiwa is Japanese. It's insulting to Koreans.
Tom Ludlow: How am I supposed to tell if you can't?
Thug Kim: Fuck that's supposed to mean, white boy?
Tom Ludlow: It means you've got eyes like apostrophes, you dress white, talk black, and drive Jew. So how am I supposed to know what kind of zipper-head dog-munching dick you are if you don't?
A new car built by my company leave somewhere traveling at 60 miles per hour. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field (A) multiply it by the probable rate of failure (B) then multiply the result by the average out of court settlement (C). A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of the recall, we don't do one.
Television:
The Simpsons, The Sopranos, The Venture Brothers, Family Guy, Wonder Showzen, Formula 1, Speed Channel, SciFi, Aqua Teen Hunger Force...
It was beautiful. We were selling old rich women their own fat asses back to them.
Books:
What is a book????????
First, you take a layer of glycerin, if you then to add some nitric acid you have nitroglycerin, and some sodium nitrate and a dash of sawdust, you have dynamite! . . . With a gun barrel between your teeth you speak only in vowels.
Heroes:
Homer Simpson - Homer is not the best "role model", but he kicks butt!
Tyler Durden - Is a freakin genius!! If he was a real person, the world would be a better place.
Batman - because he's the only super hero that doesnt have any "special" powers and he still continues to whoop ass! . . . Heroes will be remembered, but legends never die.
Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but . . . every once in a while . . . it's a dildo. Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership. In the even of a dildo, we have to use the indefinite article "a" dildo, never "your" dildo.
