Kendall profile picture

Kendall

beat yourself up, and only you can win

About Me

I overuse the phrase "slam dunk". I play basketball at midnight, and the cool kids come to my room to share my musical taste and marvel at the amount of alcohol I have.I like to enjoy myself.

My Interests

rum, painting, picking people's brains, videogames, writing controversial things with chalk. debunking bullshit, arguing with you, arguing with that guy over there, "negotiating solutions", arguing with gibbs cos he's WRONG IN YOUR FACE YOU DECONSTRUCTIONALIST SCUM, pouring tall cool drinks, writing letters to obscure american politicians, going to bed, being funny on stage, showering in the middle of the day.

I'd like to meet:

the friends of my friends. my friends have good taste in friends, as they are my friends, and so we often like similar people.take this little litter of lovelies. blondes, brunettes, babies - they all have a place on my top 8.you know you want her.

Music:

ska, ragga, dub (five times a year, and no more, or i get bored), punk, latin, britpop, things like muse, tool, apc, the hives, white stripes, stereophonics, beastie boys, everclear, weezer, gimmes, suede, oasis, bluetones, trojan, misc soundtracks. it's all about the cat empire, semisonic, dire straits, slackers, sage francis. to think I almost forgot tool, a perfect circle and skindred. not the last tool album though. it was like netball to laterlus' basketball.listen to the ross irwin soul special, or i'll kill ya.

Movies:

high fidelity, naked lunch, escape to athena, dogma, mallrats, back to the future, anything touched by michael j fox, intacto, cool runnings, spinal tap, any given sunday, once upon a time in mexico, tarantino, untouchables, scarface, goodfellas, godfathers 1+2, new jack city, mean streets, layer cake, american psycho, the count of monte cristo french miniseries. is. like. crack.

Television:

black books, peep show, father ted, family guy, the first two series of coupling, big love, scrubs, the west wing.

Books:

my books are my business.

Heroes:

jay gatsby, jack dee, and james thurber. in that order.

My Blog

The Magic If

Chateau D'If, as all my Dumas fans out there will know.   So anyway. I was just at a top level meeting with The Cool Kids - high profile stuff - slumming it in my new Hangover Chic outfit of ralp...
Posted by Kendall on Tue, 06 Mar 2007 08:48:00 PST

the tetris theme is actually a russian folk song

last night of term one tonight. people are getting thin on the ground. the night before - last night, if you will - we rolled around the corridors drunk. there was an unending supply of booze; all th...
Posted by Kendall on Fri, 08 Dec 2006 01:57:00 PST

i can now say i know a slovakian anti-semite

When I was  a young boy,my Father  took me  into the city,to see a marching band.He said "Son when you grow up, perhaps you could get a job in catering?"   that one's for all my ch...
Posted by Kendall on Thu, 19 Oct 2006 08:56:00 PST

the man who bought too little milk

Nobody can understand the fundamental pointlessness and comprehensive waste of the act of creativity and how totally worthless the written word is until they have entered a university library.
Posted by Kendall on Wed, 11 Oct 2006 03:44:00 PST

dumdedumdumdumDOO (that's the opening of "longview")

2 packs dehydrated tofu, 4 bottles dark soy sauce, 6 sachets chow mein sauce, 1kg penne, 500g fusilli, 3 tubes concentrated tomato paste, 1 multilid, 2 cans wonton soup, 4 cans cho...
Posted by Kendall on Sun, 24 Sep 2006 11:25:00 PST

i totally have a ticket for motion city this monday

Addressing British Dukes "Common" (non-Royal) Dukes: Begin: My Lord Duke Address: His Grace the Duke of _____ Speak to as: Your Grace     someday. perhaps not someday soon; not my li...
Posted by Kendall on Thu, 14 Sep 2006 03:39:00 PST

my cat is dying

this is a recipe that requires one skill and one skill alone: being annoying. you share your house with at least one other person on a regular basis. in it, because you live (at least at the moment) ...
Posted by Kendall on Sun, 20 Aug 2006 02:24:00 PST

today was my last exam

it was a messy divorce. so many times would one of them proudly declare "we are done, get thee gone!" or "that's it, i'm THROUGH, i've got no more business with you and you'd better hurry to...
Posted by Kendall on Thu, 29 Jun 2006 02:19:00 PST

the woman who wrote this got crushed to death by a jew in a bulldozer

"Today, as I walked on top of the rubble where homes once stood, Egyptian soldiers called to me from the other side of the border, "Go! Go!" because a tank was coming. And then waving and "What's your...
Posted by Kendall on Tue, 20 Jun 2006 12:46:00 PST

Unum saltum et siffletum et unum bumbulum

The professional farters of medieval Ireland were called braigetori. The art of farting was also practiced in the Far East, as is evident from a story dating to the Japanese Kakamura period, set ...
Posted by Kendall on Sun, 18 Jun 2006 02:48:00 PST