The Official page of Muker Von profile picture

The Official page of Muker Von

I am here for Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends and Networking

About Me

I edited my profile with Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4Hello. Im Muker Von You may remember me from such self help videos as: "Smoke Yourself Thin" & "Get Confident Stupid!"The details of my life are quite inconsequential. My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian woman named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.I've sung in a lot of different bands over the years, (none were ever singed) and I find it so much better to just work by myself.. So I picked up a guitar and started writing music.. Now I have people asking if they can play with me..Ive gone to school for a cooking degree, but did not feel like going to class everyday, so i failed... well, more like dropped out.. nice waste of money huh?

My Interests

I'd like to meet:


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

My Blog

....and you thought your singer was bad....

Milwaukee, Wisconsin A man was jailed without bail Saturday, one day after he was arrested on charges he dismembered his neighbor and drove around with her severed head in the trunk of his car.Muker...
Posted by on Thu, 16 Jul 2009 10:54:00 GMT

"the controller"

what do you people think? im made of stories? come on i just gave you a survey, i need to recharge my batteries, and by recharge my batteries i mean have sex with a bagel.....
Posted by on Sun, 08 Feb 2009 14:59:00 GMT

still funny after all these years....

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Posted by on Sat, 15 Nov 2008 01:39:00 GMT

the "im posting a survey in the blog" survey

1.how are you? i am so good right now it should be a crime...2.who was the last person you hugged?richard simmons...3.look to your left, what do you see?my silver viking goblet, my camera with all the...
Posted by on Wed, 12 Nov 2008 07:25:00 GMT

THE THINGS YOU SHOUL;D KNOW...

Important to know1. When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I can't remember what I chose.2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.3. A wife is a s...
Posted by on Tue, 13 May 2008 11:38:00 GMT

THE THINGS YOU SHOUL;D KNOW...

Important to know1. When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I can't remember what I chose.2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.3. A wife is a s...
Posted by on Tue, 13 May 2008 11:38:00 GMT

als take on misfortune...


Posted by on Sun, 13 Apr 2008 09:39:00 GMT

the great otm shank


Posted by on Tue, 12 Feb 2008 14:02:00 GMT

looking good, looking good....

Leader: Adolf HitlerKilled Jews: over 6,000,000Major Language: GermanMajor Concentration Camps: Auschwitz, Dachau, Buchenwold, Flossenburg Country: GermanyLooking like a sex machine on camera....price...
Posted by on Wed, 10 Oct 2007 13:07:00 GMT

"dont get your dick covered in shit"....


Posted by on Tue, 11 Sep 2007 07:06:00 GMT