D-licious

When I was young, it was my dream to grow up and be a TIME TRAVELER. So here I am today…a Time Traveler. I like my job. It’s an exhilarating ride getting to see and experience the future, but I haven’t yet honed my skills enough to travel backwards. And I can only travel forward at the rate of sixty seconds per minute. It’s still pretty cool though. Anyway, as I was leaving for a job one day, my time travel mentor said, “Derek, remember that nothing in this world is free.” “That’s alright,” I thought, “I have a job”. Then she said, “Derek, remember that you can’t buy happiness or love.” I thought, “Well shit, if I can’t buy it and nothing is free, how do I get it?” So I tried trading some Pokemon cards for some love one time but it didn’t work out so well. I think the love she gave me was fake and it stopped working after a short while. When I told my mentor about it she said, “Derek, remember that time heals all wounds.” “That’s alright,” I thought, “I’m a time traveler, I’ll just do my time.” Then she said, “Derek, remember that time IS money.” “Well damn it!” I thought, “I don’t have any money! I spent it all on those stupid Pokemon cards!” So I said, “I've got no love and no money and therefore no time. I’m stuck! What happens to me now?” She said, “Only time will tell.”