Austin

About me, well, something about me attracts fat chicks. I don't mean gals that are a little overweight, I mean the ham toting butterbeasts. The gal that will say "are you gonna eat that?" with the same look in her eye as my Golden watching me eat a plate of ribs. I'm sorry, that comes off bad. I don't mean to be a bastid, but I get huge gals talking to me when I go out. Granted I am usually very flattered that a wimmenfolk will come and initiate a conversation with me, but why do they always gotta be so obese? What the hell? Does it look like I drink a lot of milk, and have sturdier then normal ribs? I do know my friends love this phenomenon. I think I need a shirt that sez "NOT A TWINKIE" on it. What else....?!?! I do stupid shit. Like last fall when I separated my shoulder. The roomie and I got back from hockey on Sunday and decided to have X GAMES:MINNETONKA with my minibike. This isn't your normal mini bike. Lets say back in 93 Jim and Mary were shopping for a minibike for Billy. They saw this thing in the dealership and Jim said "hell no my boy ain't gonna ride that, he'll turn into some faggot!" It's like a weak minibike aimed at 6-10 year olds, lolololol. Anyway. I crashed. Hard. On a 6-10 year olds minibike, shoulder full out Lethal Weapon style. I am considering asking Honda to put a sticker on the rig that sez "DO NOT DRIVE 40 MPH DOWN THE STREET, CUT THROUGH YOUR NEIGHBORS YARD AND JUMP THE DRIVEWAY. DEATH OR FUCKED UP SHOULDER MAY OCCUR."Disregard what I wrote.. I am actually a nice guy (that will screw me over chicks dig assholeS until they are old and learn) with a fucked up sense of humor, a good job, and great family.