Okay lets see, well, I was born on the now historic day of, no, no, that’s too cheesy. All right here we go December 1, 1935, in Brooklyn, New York, a champion, no, legend was born. Most of you know me as Woody Allen, but my real name is Allen Konigsberg. I first coined the name at the ripe age of 15. I would send jokes into the local magazines and used the name to disguise myself from people I knew. I started off by performing stand up comedy; I was brilliant, or as the English would say... Brilliant! Yes I attended The University of New York, and was thrown out. I later studied at The New York College which turned out just as bad. They caught me cheating on my metaphysics exam; I was looking into the soul of the boy sitting next to me. It doesn't matter though because it all worked out in the end.
