I grew up in a sprawling favela in Mumbai where we played cricket with tennis balls and salvaged 2x4's thorny with splinters. After leading my team to six successive world cups, I still look back on that early training fondly.
I retired from the madhouse world of the game to work on my bestselling book, Astrological Techniques For Stock Market Riches. My poems have been published in all leading Portuguese journals. I play the tipris like a god, and have accompanied Asha Bhosle on many an international tour. I have dated all the leading ladies of Telugu and Tamil cinema, many of whom futilely continue to friend me on myspace.com, an exciting new online community. (This fact does not bother my extremely understanding wife, Janeane Garofalo.)
In my spare time I can be seen at the VIP lounge of the Chicago Yellow Cab HQ, often chatting, over ginger chai and fried brinjal rings, with my close friends Asif Mandvi and Alpana Singh. Our often heated but never hostile exchanges teach me a lot about true happiness, the meaning of freedom, and the unavoidable slipperiness of signifiers.
My true calling is, and always will be, the service of Brahmins for Jesus, a ministry that I founded on December 31, 1999 and continue to nurture.
I miss Tom . Though I had to sever all relations with him after a profound falling-out, I acknowledge my debt to him for introducing me to the fascinating world of extended networks.