Mr. Travis, to my friends. profile picture

Mr. Travis, to my friends.

I am here for Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends and Networking

About Me



When I was born I was immediately voted the most amazing baby in the world. I spoke 3 languages (Portugese, Mandarin Chinese, and Latin), my fecal matter smelt of roses and I had a full head of beautiful blonde hair. I've cured cancer, twice, defeated the Polish during the Battle of the Bullshit and ultimately, lived to be 148 years old.
However, I'm now 25, married and I've just returned from Iraq...again. I don't speak anything other than English... and even then the quality is pretty poor... oh, and I don't do anything anymore but paperwork piled upon paperwork.
As far as I know I've never killed another human being.
Yes, Iraq is an ugly and brutal country but it shows such promise.
Chances are I won't add you as a "Friend" unless you at least send me a message first.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Other expat's of The Valley. Women with loose morals. (Non-sexual, on my end, they're just more fun.) Men with loose morals. (Again, non-sexual, just so much more fun) Binge drinkers who can only find solace in their own kind. 40 virgins (women only, not your 22 year old cousin who plays D&D) to take with me to heaven. At least 200 personnel who can, like me, solve a Rubik's Cube. And any high ranking Army officers who want to set me up with a sweet job in a year or two. Deposed dictators who've fled to even more heinous countries for protection. Retired Assassins. Circus clowns trained to ride Clydesdales. Osama. Your mother. You. Your neighbor. Your dog Your cat Ninjas, dear God how I'd love to meet a Ninja. People who work purely on impulse.
"A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation."
"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."

"When a wise man gives thee better counsel, give me mine again: I would have none but knaves follow it, since a fool gives it."
"I can't tell if you're serious or not," said the driver. "I won't know myself until I find out whether life is serious or not," said Trout. "It's dangerous, I know, and it can hurt a lot. That's doesn't necessarily mean it's serious, too."

My Blog

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