I'm a tattooed, hot-rod lovin' rockabilly girl. I love ink, my dog and the color black. I MOVED BACK TO TEXAS!!! YE-fuckin'-HAW My obsessions are Psychobilly and bell peppers. In that order, but only one of them gives me gas....
Psychobilly, Gaudi, Getting ink, dissecting cadavars and books
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adopt your own virtual pet!
The person that made it a tradition to sit in front of a dying tree and eat candy outta your socks.....
Ponderous...
I understand how scissorscan beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and render it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scisors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantlysuffocating students as they take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't hurt anybody. A rock will tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock, paper, scissors I always choose rock. Then when somone claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole....
PC Magazine's 2007 editors'choice for best webmail-award-winning letter:
Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuardCore or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic.I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants. Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type,I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing? As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt Seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter.Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.' Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy'about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong’. Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately,there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always. . . Best, Wendi Aarons Austin,TX
literally, the only thing that I have been obsessed with throughout my entire life, well that, and johnny voodoo...
are better when you're awake....
rots the brain
I would really like to read ANYTHING that is not related to medicine... soup can labels, road signs, your diary...
I have a few people that I admire, but no one you would have heard of. Not much into placing people on pedestals, it just gives them farther to fall when they screw up....and we all eventually screw up. ;).. ..