I rock.
I used to be straight, but I got better.
I will not eat green eggs and ham, but I will eat Cheez-Its by the fistful until the box is empty.
I mix the best drinks.
Je parle français.
I have weird eyebrows.
I fight for equal rights.
I firmly believe that free beer tastes the best.
I threaten to punch babies when I get mad. I won't do it, though, because there are plenty of stupid people in this world who are more deserving of a beating.
I like to say the word "shit" a lot.
I am easy to get over.
I am always better looking than my replacement.
I like drinking beer on the porch.
My lipgloss be poppin'.
I met Ray Charles once.
I kick ass at Scrabble. Just because I'm pretty doesn't mean I'm stupid.
I do not like it when people move my things after I've set them down.
I hate it when my socks get wet.
I believe that the sexiest thing a guy can wear is just a pair of jeans.
I always think "I told you so" but never say it because that's a can of worms I just don't want to open.
I believe that when you're drunk PBR Light tastes like peaches.
I am always in need of another tattoo.
