MY NAMES NOT KUNG FU!

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I WAS BORN IN BEIJING IN THE YEAR OF THE MONKEY,MY REAL NAME IS CHEN LI QIANG AKA MOBY DICKHEAD.I WAS BROUGHT UP IN MELBOURNE AUSTRALIA UNDER THE WATCHFUL EYE OF VETERAN ACTOR AND AUSSIE...MEL GIBSON!(DRUNK DRIVER) THERE HE TAUGHT ME THE WAYS OF THE COMMON HOUSE CAT &ALSO HOW TO PLAY TWISTER WITH A SHEEP. I STUDY HUNG GAR KUNG FU & MORE RECENTLY TAEKWONDO. I ALSO STUDY NORTHERN SHAOLIN CHUAN WHEN I GO TO CHINA.I PLAN ON GOING EVERY YEAR IF ANYONE WANTS TO COME? ITS CRAZY BUT FUN & AS CHEAP AS THE ORANGE GUY OFF BARGAIN HUNTS TAN IN A BOTTLE! IM LEARNING JAPANESE AND MANDARIN LANGUAGES IN HOPES TO TRAVEL THE WORLD TO BETTER MY KUNG FU.I LOVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH SHAOLIN KUNG FU&DISLIKE EVERYTHING BAD!!! IVE NEVER BEEN TO CANADA AND HAVE NEVER FELT FANNY WIRE! I HAVE THREE DOGS NAMED...SIMON THE DILDO BANANARAMADINGDONG&THE MULTI-TALENTED BEEF THE DESTROYER! HE PLAYS SHAKIN'STEVEN SONGS ON THE RECORDER.I HAVE NO PARENTS AND TWO BROTHERS CALLED MUFASA SYNDROME&FREDDIE MERCURY REV. I BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUSE AND SHOE FAIRIES. THE SKY IS GAY! I AM ALSO A WEREWOLF IN MY SPARE TIME! HOOOOOOOOOOWWWWLLL!!!JUSTICE WITHOUT POWER IS EMPTY POWER WITHOUT JUSTICE IS JUST VIOLENCEKUNG FU IS A WAY OF LIFE.BUTTFACE