Dear Sir or Madame:
I am writing to inform you that Ben is a respectable gent. He has shoes. Like a slow summer's breeze, he regularly checks his calcium intake and is often wary of lone gunmen. He enjoys things such as food. Sometimes, he may aspire to make clothes out of sheets, but please do not allow him to do so. If he is appropriately cared for, he will turn into his final form which will allow him to use Hyper Beam. This may prove useful to all you underachievers. I hope this information is sufficient, and congratulations on your knowing of Ben.
Love,
The Guy
here's my THE SURVEY! love it with familiy and friends alike!
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: ben shirley
Birthday: feb 5 1982
Birthplace: tulsa, ok
Current Location: bellevue, wa
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: brown
Height: 6'5
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: what? like indians?
The Shoes You Wore Today: globe
Your Weakness: the fact that i cant lift 5 pounds
Your Fears: zombie ninja ghosts that need bus fair
Your Perfect Pizza: would taste delicious
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: to stop humping people's grandmas
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: so, where does your grandma live?
Thoughts First Waking Up: i like her more with her teeth out
Your Best Physical Feature: my lovely lady lumps... you know, in the back and in the front.
Your Bedtime: i dont sleep... i have "the gift". you know, that katie holmes movie. i have it on dvd. apparently if you own it, your body no longer requires sleep. i just figured i should tell you.
Your Most Missed Memory: winning WW1. btw i still havent gotten a single thank you.
Pepsi or Coke: coke! with vanilla vodka of course. plain soda is for evil mormons.
MacDonalds or Burger King: french fries
Single or Group Dates: single, but i'd rather just hang out with a group of friends
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: i dont care. this question is for horses
Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla! chocolate is for horses!
Cappuccino or Coffee: i dont like either, but if i had to pick it'd be coffee (cause i heard cappuccino has 'pp' in it)
Do you Smoke: cigarettes are the devil's tobacco sticks!
Do you Swear: does F count? what about HL? if they do, the yes
Do you Sing: only about HL
Do you Shower Daily: i shower THRICE daily! i have the OCD. it keeps me clean and the voices quiet!
Have you Been in Love: i've been in gloves... that's about it
Do you want to go to College: no, i went you moron
Do you want to get Married: meh... maybe. but rule is, it has to be pirate themed.
Do you belive in yourself: yes! if i dont then i'll disappear.
Do you get Motion Sickness: only when i move violently
Do you think you are Attractive: F* YEAH! last night i scored with myself FOUR TIMES! aw yah!
Are you a Health Freak: i DARE you to find dirt on my carpet! it'll be easy cause it's all over, but dares are fun.
Do you get along with your Parents: yup! i'm tres lovable
Do you like Thunderstorms: yup huh
Do you play an Instrument: skin flute... DAAAAAAAAAAAMN! but i played the violin
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: i think i'll say yes... to sound cool for all those randoms on myspace. YES YOU!
In the past month have you Smoked: nope
In the past month have you been on Drugs: nuh
In the past month have you gone on a Date: nah
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: bien sur! of course i went to the mall you idiot sandwich
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: nope, cause oreos dont come in boxes. OH SNAP! yeah, i said it!
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes cause sushi make happy
In the past month have you been on Stage: yes. i performed a complex dialogue among a group of my peers at the local art theater... no... why would i be on a stage? do you even know me, the survey?
In the past month have you been Dumped: nope!
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: it's f*ing april! i wore a swimsuit so i wouldnt freeze, fagmageddon!
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: yeah... your heart. AWWWWWWW. and if i dont give it back, you might die. AWWWWWWWWW.
Ever been Drunk: im drun,k right now!
Ever been called a Tease: YES! but it was the halloween i was dressed up as mr mint, so i had other problems to deal with
Ever been Beaten up: nope!
Ever Shoplifted: yeah, i picked it up with one arm too! then i got initiated into a gang and got my first set of blingin grillz. ahhh, those were the days.
How do you want to Die: by becoming a giant and crushing a town
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: a giant so i can crush a town! get it! grow up... like in height! oh im rich!
What country would you most like to Visit: why is "Visit" capitalized? wait! all the last words of those questions are capitalized! what's going on here?!?!?!
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
