I would love to share just a fragment of my life to those who somehow feel that God has rejected them or discounted them in some way.
I have had encounters with the Lord, that have forever shifted my old way of thinking and believing, and catapulted me into such a dimension of the love He has for me, and a faith that I cannot deny, nor do I choose to.
Back when I was growing up, not only was I abused emotionally, sexually, and physically, I also followed a path of homosexuality for fifteen years. It wasn't till God got a hold of my heart and showed His love to me that I started to heal on the inside. Before I was healed, because I had been so violated as a young girl, the guys I attracted took advantage of me time and time again, so the only way I knew how to protect myself was to not attract guys, so I had stopped dressing feminine from that time on, till of coarse I got a revelation of Gods' love for me, and slowly but surely, I started coming out of that shell of my own self defense mechanism I had created.
Before I followed the path of a homosexual, I had never felt the presence of God nor His presence of love, as a matter of fact, I use to always think He was pointing a long finger of condemnation at me, never feeling deserving of this God I thought I knew. Then one day I entered into this church in Massapequa, NY, called Massapequa Tabernacle, and there I began to feel a tug at my heart when the Pastor was giving what they called an "altar call". There was this tugging on my heart that I was reluctant to act upon, because of the lies that swarmed my soul at that time in my life, saying I wasn't good enough. I could not deny what was going on inside me that very moment, a gentle tug at my heart, a gentle loving tug that seemed to give me life I had never encountered. I went with what I felt gently led to do, and that day I openly confessed from my heart Jesus as my Lord and Savior. That day I left that place laughing and crying, having for the first time in my life, witnessed the presence of the Lord. There is nothing like it on this earth that can ever compare, nor words be worthy of describing His awesome presence and love!
I hope this space of internet speaks to you in some profound way, that touches your heart leaving a mark of His love on you. He loves everyone the same, and just as much as He reveals Himself to me, He wants to reveal to you. Never believe the lie that you are not worth his time etc..., because you are the apple of His eye, and nothing can ever fill the void inside you except Him/His Spirit.
Trying to fill the void with drugs, alchohol, money or sex is never going to fill it and that is why so many including myself, have been there and done that many times many, and it never worked, what did happen though was the void got even bigger and it started to become apparent that I was feeling that much more empty on the inside. A vicious cycle and a waste of time, heart and money.... Selah
Now I am a student at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, in Redding, Ca. This place is awesome in the things of God! This place is an "Open Heaven" of Signs, Wonders, and Miracles along with a staff that is anointed in revelation dedicated to worldwide transformation through spiritual revival. They train and equip the Body of Christ to bring the love of God and the power of the Holy Spirit into the darkest places of the planet and establish Holy Spirit fortifications, resulting in the kingdom of this world becoming the kingdom of our God. Their mission is to equip and deploy revivalists who passionately pursue worldwide transformation within their God - given spheres of influence.
Pastor Bill Johnson - President
Pastor Kris Vallotton - Senior Overseer
For more information, visit their website at: www.ibethel.org or call 530-246-6000
