DAVY BRADFORD profile picture

DAVY BRADFORD

Why do i always have to poop at the most inconvenient times???

About Me

Hey there...My name is Brad, I'm a college student, I like to party, I like to hang out with my friends, and I like to laugh
1.) I admire anyone with a drug addiction because they believe in commitment.
2.) I love throwing up when I’m drunk.
3.) Every time I take a shit, I think of spiders.
4.) Thanksgiving is my favorite Holiday.
5.) I fear spiders, the ocean, and AIDS.
6.) I once got my penis stuck in my drawstring skinny dipping and my mom had to untangle it.
7.) I inspect my poop every time I take a dump.
8.) I think Keystone Light is the most delicious beer.
9.) I love my Blackberry more than my Nana.
10.) I sing in Church.
11.) I like arrogant girls like a hot fart in an elevator.
12.) I’m never serious about anything.
13.) If I’m a failure in life at age 25, I’m just becoming a porn star.
14.) I do the “nut-clap” every time I take a shower. I’m OCD like that.
15.) I love anything with peanut butter in it.
16.) Durex is my preferred brand of condoms.
17.) I’ve made the Dean’s List every semester while at McDaniel.
18.) I think Flava Flav is the biggest retard on the planet.
19.) I'm drunk in 55.8% of the pictures I have on facebook.
20.) The first thing I notice on people is their teeth.
21.) I'm always Donkey Kong in MarioKart64. If someone else tries to be him, I refuse to play, because I can ONLY be DK...we've shared too many victories together.
22.) I love the smell of wet towels, tool sheds, and gasoline.
23.) The one movie that has absolutely brought terror to my soul: Independence Day w Will Smith. I couldnt sleep for a week after that.
24.) Everytime I scratch my ass crack or pick a wedgie, I always smell my fingers afterward.
25.) Nicolas Cage is my favorite actor, not for his acting abilities...but for his pure entertainment value.
26.) I have a huge irrational fear of deer. Especially the ones with big antlers.
27.) I must have at least 14 hours of sleep a night or else im completely retarded.
28.) I fart alot. I also think cupcakes and dutch ovens are the funniest things on the planet.
29.) The best conversations are the ones that involve poop (even better when corn is involved).
30.) I like to eat cold pizza. Hot pizza really doesn't do it for me.
31.) DrinkBall is my favorite drinking game.
32.) I use UrbanDictionary more than real dictionaries. I also have a vocabulary of a third grader.
33.) Lasagne is the best food. Don't argue with me because I will hurt you.
34.) I enjoy going to Bingo. The most I've ever won was $150. Plus I like flirtin' with the old ladies.
35.) I listen to 30 seconds of a song, get sick of it, and then change it to another song. And repeat this until someone tells me to get away from whatever is playing music.
36.) I draw chodes on everything. If I had a graffiti tag - it would be a chode.
37.) I jerked off in the library twice to win a bet.
38.) I'm always the drunkest person at a party.
39.) Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls is my favorite movie and I can quote every line from it because I've seen it over 30 times.

myspace

My Interests

Partying, alcohol, living life, doing whatever i feel like, sleeping, eating good food...

I'd like to meet:

I consider myself a pretty outgoing person...so for the most part Im usually up for meeting new people...unless of course you're an annoying freak...then we won't ever get along...

Music:

311, 50 Cent, Alien Ant Farm, All-American Rejects, Andy Dick and the Bitches of the Century,The Beach Boys, Black Eyed Peas, Blind Melon, Bob Marley, Breaking Benjamin, Counting Crows, Daddy Yankee, Daft Punk, Dispatch, DJ Tiesto, DMX, Fall Out Boy, Fatboy Slim, Gin Blossoms, Hawthorne Heights, Hellogoodbye, Houston Calls, Incubus, Ian Van Dahl, Jack's Mannequin, Jay-Z, Jet, Jimmy Buffet, Jimmy Eat World, Kanye West, The Killers, Len, Lil Jon, Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Lionel Richie, Ludacris, M.I.A., Matisyahu, Mike Jones, Missy Elliot, My Chemical Romance, N.E.R.D., OAR, Outkast, Panic! At The Disco, Paul Oakenfold, Phil Collins, The Pink Spiders, Pitbull, Program the Dead, Punjabi MC, Queen, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Reliant K, Rooney, School House Rock, Sean Paul, Silkk the Shocker, Something Corporate, The Starting Line, Story of the Year, Sublime, Sum 41, Tenacious D, Third Eye Blind, Three Dog Night, Tom Petty, Trapt, Trick Daddy, Trina, Yellowcard, OK GO

As you can probably see...i like all kinds of music: rock, rap, techno...I'll listen to pretty much anything...except country music...i cant stand it. it drives me fuckin crazy.

Movies:

My top favorites: Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, Ace Ventura Pet Detective, Blades of Glory, Emperor's New Groove, 300, Blow, American Gangster, All of the Batman movies, Disney's Fantasia.

Television:

Best Week Ever, Next, Drawn Together, The Sarah Silverman Program, The Colbert Report, The Food Network, Nip/Tuck, King of Queens, Chelsea Lately

Books:

Do i look like I read? Well, I do. I like all books by Dan Brown, Michael Crichton, and mythology. And the comics in the newspaper.

Heroes:

Ace Ventura

My Blog

School fuckin blows....

Let me correct that...School fuckin blows big hairy donkey dick... Whoever invented Calculus was the biggest cunt booger on the planet...and yes, I'm talking to you Sir Isaac Newton. You know somethin...
Posted by DAVY BRADFORD on Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:23:00 PST

The ABCs of Vagina Names

So sometimes when I'm at work at American Express I get really bored and I play games with myself to pass the time.  Today I played the ABC game.  This is when I pick a category and the...
Posted by DAVY BRADFORD on Sat, 11 Aug 2007 09:08:00 PST

my summer so far is umm...special

So I'm sitting here watching Fresh Prince because thats what my life has amounted to recently, and i decided to describe what a fuckin circus my life has been since i got home from college. 1.  I...
Posted by DAVY BRADFORD on Thu, 24 May 2007 07:18:00 PST

explosive...

I JUST HAD ONE OF THE WORST SHIT EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE.  HERE'S A CONVENIENT TIMELINE OF EVENTS: [1] IM SITTING ON MYSPACE TRYING TO FIND A NEW PROFILE SONG.[2] I GET A LITTLE STOMACH GURGL...
Posted by DAVY BRADFORD on Sun, 04 Feb 2007 05:57:00 PST