Am I the only one who reads this stuff?
99% of you will never read all of this.
My name is Loren but everyone calls me "Captain". I'M FUCKING CRAZY. I'm one of the weirdest people you'll meet but most seem to be ok with it. ART IS EVERYTHING TO ME. So all you n00bz need to stop jackin my shit. Want to see my art? Blog: "VIEW MY ART HERE.". I take pictures in my underwear and I like it. Get over it. I'm confident about my body. Guys: If you're into STICK THIN paper dolls... You're barking up the wrong tree.
Learn.
I have maybe 2 people that I'm positive I can trust with anything. I instantly regret it when I tell people things about my personal life. (I think mild paranoia makes me feel as if I compromised something in leaking my secrets.) I DON'T tell other's secrets. I DON'T tell lies. Ask me anything. Just try it. I did a lot of things to myself and others that I regret and I want to take some of this back and I can't and I can only move up from here and I'm thinking positive. I want more than anything to become a tattoo artist more than anything I've ever desired, and I'm finally achieving it. Come see me at Elite Tattoo Company in Tampa, Florida. :) I smile a lot. A whole lot. Sometimes too much. But I love it. At times I'm a little self-conscious about my body, but I know I'm not fat and I know I'm not ugly. I just always want to improve.
I want to be just like my mother. I hope my kids look at me the way I look at my mother. I take pride in my generosity. I feel uncomfortable when people give me things or buy me things. Once a boy tried to pay for my dinner and I took his money and threw it on the ground and paid for our dinner before he could pick it up. I'm serious. I'm fascinated by serial killers and I've read the full biographies of Jeffrey Dahmer, Albert Fish, Cleophus Prince Jr., Richard Trenton Chase, Dean Corll, Ed Gein, John Wayne Glover, and Sweeney Todd. I still miss my cat, "Cherry", that died when I was 10. My left hand shakes violently and my right hand is as calm as could be. I'm the kinda girl that always memorizes movies line for line. One time in World History class, I threw a desk at a boy for bullying a quiet girl and making her cry. I used to be just like that quiet girl. My brother is my idol. My brother shaped me in every way and made me who I am at this very moment. I even got inspired to start drawing from HIS talent in art. I love scary movies. By the time I'm old and withered, I hope to have seen every horror movie produced in the English language. (Go see "Dead Alive". It's the best and nastiest zombie movie ever). You probably stopped reading by now. I wink my right eye when I smoke cigarettes. (I'm afraid to get the smoke in my eye!). I always sleep with the blanket over my head. Ask anyone. There's reasoning behind it. I truely respect those who cruise over pot holes in the street of life as if they just got new tires... I wish everyone could deal with their problems and take responsibilty without relying on another person. I'm a grammar FREAK. Any single one of you that have spoken with me via message... can confirm that. If anything is spelled or punctuated wrong, inform me and I'll correct it. Until 8th grade, I only had about 4 friends, if that. I'm crazy and talkative and social now, but I was terrified of meeting new people for so long. I tell stories too much. They're real stories but I tell the same 15 or 20 stories so much, I forget who I told them to and I repeat them to the same person exactly the way I told it the first time. Apparently I say these words weird: "Alien", "Skinny", "Chicken", "Belly Button", "Rotten". I didn't quit drugs for myself and I honestly didn't care that I was killing my body and mind. I did it for my family. I know this is SO ridiculous, but I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS wish at 11:11... I feel disappointed if I glance at the clock and notice that I just barely missed it. I enjoy to drink, but I pity those who can't have a good time without the use of some substance foreign to the body. My laugh is so loud and I think it's obnoxious. My dad died when I was 4. It doesn't bother me anymore, don't tell me you're sorry. I truely believe that your smile can brighten someone's day. I truely believe that smiles are contagious. I've kept diaries documenting every day of my life since 5th grade. I have them all but 1. I let a certain person read them. I love Icehouse beer. My favorite band will ALWAYS be "The Doors." I want to be in love again. I want to be in love with someone who will love me and not lie to me. I'm 5 feet and 11 inches tall. I like it. I love "Faces of Death" and seeing people die doesn't bother me. I'm sorry if that bothers you. My legs twitch a lot right before I fall asleep... always. I love hands and lips. I know I'm wrong or unreasonable sometimes and I know I'll SWEAR that I'm right but give me a little bit of time and I promise I'll admit it. I know a lot of racist jokes and I genuinely feel sorry for you if you think they're offensive. Learn to laugh. I have a habit of checking my little sister's, mom's, big sister's, and big brother's pulse while they sleep. I get scared. (They'd only find out I do that if they were to read this.) I'm TERRIFIED of natural disasters. (Tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, global warming, etc.). I'm afraid of disappointing my step dad. I'm afraid of the future. But I can promise you I know I'm meant to do great things. I cover up my left ear while I draw. There's a story behind that, too. I bruise very easily. I love to love but it's so hard and it takes so long for me to fall. It's not that I'm picky. I'm just too careful. I never draw on the first page of a sketchbook and I never write on the first page of a notebook. I really don't know why... I won't run unless someone's chasing me. I hate physical activity. I am finally a good person, and I am finally accepting that. I don't step on cracks in the sidewalk or street. I've only had 2 guys ever buy me roses and I don't care and I don't see why that's so important. I apologize for everything. I KNOW it's not my fault. Don't tell me that. I read romance novels. They make me envious. I don't want to travel, or go on tour with a band, or go hang gliding or anything cliche like that. I just want to be here. I want to be creating masterpieces and putting them onto people. And I want my soul mate to be standing right by my side through it all. I have a scar underneath my chin and 2 scars on my back but nobody ever notices them until I point them out. I want to meet beautiful people. But I don't mean beautiful faces. I like to make people laugh. I'm eccentric. (In the most friendly way.) I'm indecisive and I contradict myself sometimes. You'll find at least one example of it somewhere in here. I have nightmares almost every night. Always about either a tornado, alligators, or losing my family. My favorite number is 54... it was the number on my big brother's football jerseys in middle school and high school. I wish people agreed with my outlook on life. I wish everyone knew that people ARE good and you CAN love and you CAN trust and you CAN do anything if you set your mind to it. I want to meet someone who will analyze my art and actually come close to the meaning. I won't change any of this unless it becomes untrue. Only make additions.
I want to learn how to fix everything.
"Life is all about acceptance, that deep exhalation of finally realizing that you may never achieve the only desire that has ever dared play on repeat in your mind. Dreams are all about acceptance as well, excepting that life's verdict is not always unfaltering."
-www.myspace.com/johngoldmusic
DO NOT ADD ME IF:
You look like this:
You're going to post advertisements or stupid chain letters on my profile.
You're going to be an asshole.
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