clockwork automataton profile picture

clockwork automataton

About Me

I am underweight, under fed and maniacally depressed. i have gone literally insane and come back. In this hopeless fucked world hard work does not amount to anything more than stress and starvation. We live in a world where parents baby their children and provide them with all their needs all the way through college.. i found out the hard way that there is no place like home and mom and dad wont back you up forever. i was ousted from my house at 17 and ive been fighting tooth and nail to survive ever since. If there's one thing i hate in this world it people who will tell you what you want to hear then stab you in the back after theyve gotten what they need from you. i work 20 hours a week as a fucking dishwasher. that doesnt even make me enough money to eat each week much less pay for insurance, rent, gas, electric, phone....etc. one word of advice to any of you kids out there. dont take that year off before college, because you'll never go, you 'll get pulled into the hellish workforce and you'll never get ahead you'll always be one step behind one step away from anything and then something will happen like your car gets impounded because you cant pay your insurance....that happened to me , that when you know your fucked.
Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male
.. Your brain is a healthy mix of male and femaleYou are both sensitive and savvyRational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headedBut you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve What Gender Is Your Brain?
Your Power Color Is Teal
At Your Highest:
You feel accomplished and optimistic about the future.
At Your Lowest:
You feel in a slump and lack creativity.
In Love:
You tend to be many people's ideal partner.
How You're Attractive:
You make people feel confident and accepted.
Your Eternal Question:
"What Impression Am I Giving?" What's Your Power Color?
I edited my profile with Thomas’ Myspace Editor V3.6 !

My Interests

playing music, listening to music, becoming music! lol and i like to read a good book. women ;) yeah thats right! oh and making money interests me too, "money isnt everything , well id like to see try to live without it"

I'd like to meet:

anyone thats ever had to fight to survive as hard , if not harder than i have.

Music:

eletronica, trance, Heavy metal, deathmetal, experimental, ambient, Classical (Bach),thrash, grindcore, melodic / classical meatl. acoustic/folk metal. some punk. mostly i listen to a lot of dark and violent music XP

Movies:

underworld, brotherhood of the wolf, van helsing,reign of fire, LOTR, the matrix ( all three),sleepy hollow, edward scissor hands, i robot, wicker park,meet the fockers, theres something about mary, 28 days later, shaun of the dead, army of darkness, all of monty pythons stuff, requiem for a dream,i love Full Metal Alchemist star trek , star wars (original trilogy), spawn, both the spiderman movies, the Evangelion movies, rauxuphon, CRASH(that was a frickin awesome movie), serenity, the jacket, the corpse bride, signs, one million years B.C., the princess bride, the thirteenth warrior, war of the worlds ( both the new and the original), the pedator movies, the alien quadrology, willow, dances with wolves, Independance day, alfred hitchcock movies, the jurassic park movies, indiana jones, the original man in the iron mask, the phantom of the opera ( in all forms, be it broadway, black and white, or the new movie),

Television:

Idiot Box.

Books:

i like a lot of sci fi and fantasy books. my favorite authors include R.A. Salvitore, Tolkien, robert mcgammon, david gemmel, margret weis and tracy hickman, harry turtledove, frank peretti, isaac asimov, michael crichton, ed greenwodd, Sir walter scott, most tsr authors...

Heroes:

astronauts. reason: they are closer to the stars than ill ever be.lexi laho from COB aka the wild child, E.A. Poe

My Blog

more weight

personaly i think im staarting to slip again. every now and again my life reverts back to the cycyle of insanity that i fought for so long... everynow and then it comes back to haunt me. perhaps its j...
Posted by clockwork automataton on Sun, 24 Feb 2008 11:51:00 PST

fuck tho fucking fuckers

you know wht really pisses me off? ass holes that take your money on the promise that theey'll [pay you back the next day.....get their s and your money stolen because theyy were to ignorant to do any...
Posted by clockwork automataton on Thu, 14 Feb 2008 05:57:00 PST

feeling this

Wish I was too dead to cry My self-affliction fades Stones to throw at my creator Masochists to which I cater You don't need to bother; I don't need to be I'll keep slipping farther But once I hold on...
Posted by clockwork automataton on Thu, 31 Jan 2008 05:31:00 PST

haiku

blasphemous desire threatening the stars above unfolding blackness winter solstice  .....  ...
Posted by clockwork automataton on Thu, 24 Jan 2008 01:49:00 PST

lights out, turn those windows black

The cieling lights were spinning again. Thomas's shoulders hit the floor of his apartment witout a single sound. Something is wrong something terrible is happening. his lips begin to ti...
Posted by clockwork automataton on Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:33:00 PST

poema (diamonte uno)

child/failure ......................................................child ..........................................laughing, crying, hopefull ........................lost, alone, beatdown, overwhelme...
Posted by clockwork automataton on Sat, 05 Jan 2008 01:39:00 PST

visceral abandon - possible thrash?? metal?? lyrics

tearing im ripping through it now (again and again) feeling this now and forever   remembering your face as i tore (fuck!) spiraling out of control   crush your face to the mirror look ...
Posted by clockwork automataton on Fri, 04 Jan 2008 01:31:00 PST

broken arms doing the work of a broken man ( not for the queesy)

Primeval and authoritive the forest splay out before me, in the distance i can hear the rustling of dead leaves in the underbrush. This is the point of no return, for once i have made this one step th...
Posted by clockwork automataton on Thu, 03 Jan 2008 09:08:00 PST

shape poem....

        avenger.         abatoir.         seeker.        destroye...
Posted by clockwork automataton on Thu, 29 Nov 2007 06:04:00 PST

blessed be this fucking silence

 when was the last time i had a girlfriend, i mean a real girlfriend not some ninny that needs a date for the weekend.....hmm let me see....in all actuallity my only real serious relationship was...
Posted by clockwork automataton on Thu, 08 Nov 2007 08:41:00 PST