Jessica

I can be fun.

I am difficult to fathom and to be understood.

I am quiet unless excited or tensed.

I am honest in the nicest way I can be.

I am concerned about people's feelings.

I can be tactful if I try.

I am friendly and approachable.

I can be witty and sparkly.

I am not revengeful unless you deserve it.

I am not aggressive unless I’m provoked.

I forgive but never forget.

I am sensitive and form impressions carefully.

I am caring and loving and I treats others equally.

I have a strong sense of sympathy.

I can’t help but be wary.

I tend to be very inpatient.

I judge people through observations.

I am hardworking. When I want to be anyway.

I tend to brood about the past and what used to be.

I will wait for friends.

I easily hurt and it takes long to recover.

I love to be loved.

Ronald Fisher: We gotta find ourselves a Smurfette.

Sean Smith: Smurfette?

Ronald Fisher: Yeah, not some tight-ass Middlesex chick, right? Like this cute little blonde that will get down and dirty with the guys. Like Smurfette does.

Donnie: Smurfette doesn't fuck.

Ronald Fisher: That's bullshit. Smurfette fucks all the other Smurfs. Why do you think Papa Smurf made her? Because all the other Smurfs were getting too horny.

Sean Smith: No, no, no, not Vanity. I heard he was a homosexual.

Ronald Fisher: Okay, then, you know what? She fucks them and Vanity watches. Okay?

Sean Smith: What about Papa Smurf? I mean, he must get in on all the action.

Ronald Fisher: Yeah, what he does, he films the gang-bang, and he beats off to the tape.

Donnie: [shouts] First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have... reproductive organs under those little, white pants. It's just so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. You know, what's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?

Sean Smith: [pause] Dammit, Donnie. Why you gotta get all smart on us?