I am an Abyssinian Guinea Pig of remarkable intelligence, character, and wit. Handsome and rugged, my swirly coat may appear disheveled, but it's really just a cynicism and devil-may-care-attitude manifesting in my natural good looks.
I play cold and aloof, but I love my adoptive mother. She nursed me back to health by the sheer power of her love, bolstered by pricey antibiotics. I was alone in this world - a runt - a pet store gave me away for free.
But now I am strong. I have a sense of purpose and self. I am tough, but sensitive, caring deeply about world issues.
I love my green igaloo, as I can play Conquistador by taking it over. I also enjoy hay and broccoli. I detest baths and toenail clippings, as these things do not suit my overtly masculine appearence and personality.
One time, I had scabies. True Story.
